Nadia's Blog

Something to Try for the Weekend!

2012-01-27T07:00:00.000-06:00

Some weeks are just so busy! I often feel like we come crawling into the weekend with a tremendous need for rest. Every now and then, we plan a calm and cozy movie night! Pick a movie that is appropriate for your whole family. Work together to make some favorite snacks. Clear away coffee tables and let your kids bring down a blanket and a pillow and get settled on the floor. Snuggle with your family while you enjoy the movie and the downtime. When the movie is over, take a few minutes to talk it through, recall favorite parts and uncover hidden lessons, good or bad. :)

Blessings on your weekend!

Lessons of Trust on a Treacherous Drive

2012-01-24T13:35:00.002-06:00

He sat next to me in the van. The snow had finally come and was covering everything, everywhere, as far as we could see. We would be together, he and I, for hours as we tried to find our way back home. The roads were icy, visibility limited... but it was beautiful.

Driving home from his middle school basketball game, I had to remind myself to make the most of the time we had. It was easy to become frustrated. Easy to lose my focus and fuss about messy driving, completely missing the gift of time I had been given with my boy.

By the time we found the highway, the muscles in my shoulders ached and I was fighting a headache from focusing so hard on the road ahead. I was thrilled to see the snow... but had totally missed what it would do to the roads. Driving slowly, I glanced around and saw many cars in ditches, many spinning out of control. I rolled my shoulders, sat up straighter, and glanced again at my sweet boy.

He was looking out the window, a smile on his face, watching the wonder that was outside. He tilted his head and pointed for me to see the outline of a hawk on the tree nearby.

"Look, momma! Do you see him? He is so majestic there... " he said.

I smiled and nodded, fighting the distraction of the road ahead. I was worried. Would we be able to make the 45 minute drive home? How do I keep us safe? Should we stop or keep pressing forward?

I glanced at him again... the back of his head toward me... and remembered hours and hours of time spent holding him, nursing him, studying the hairs on his head. I remembered him tiny, remembered him running, remembered him jumping through sprinklers with his face lit up in the summer sun.

How do I keep him safe?

"Will it take us long, do you think?" he asked me. "I have homework to do tonight..."

I looked at him again. "Take out your study guide and talk to me about it, bud. Let's work on it out loud."

After digging through his backpack, he finds the sheets and starts talking to me about a test that is coming up soon. I placed my hands firmly on the wheel, sat up straight again and took a quick peek at his seat belt to be sure he was buckled in. Worry washed over me again.

He kicked off a shoe and tilted the chair back a bit, smiling and talking about the class and the test. And then it hit me, all of sudden, that he was not worried at all. He was not stressed by road and the dangerous ice. He was not wondering if we would ever get home. He was calm and peaceful and talking and trusting... even in the midst of such turmoil and tension.

And for a quick minute I could see something clearer... a reminder... a truth... a picture... that comforted me then and comforts me now and reminds me of how life is supposed to be. Because my boy sitting next to me felt totally safe because he trusted me to handle what was happening around us. My boy knew he could do what he needed to do and that someone was keeping him safe.

And maybe you never forget. Sometimes though, I do. Sometimes, I think I have to handle it all... and sometimes I believe that the person who is keeping me safe and watching the road is me.

But, on that snowy and slippery drive home from his game, my son reminded me that if I trust, if I believe, if I release my need to handle it myself, I can relax and remember that The One in control needs be The One who loves me best. I can be free then to do what I need to do knowing that I am safe.

I need to trust Him, to trust God, with my family, my work, my worries, my safety... I need to trust Him to work in and for my life... and trust Him to do it better than I ever could.

And if I do that... if I trust Our God... then I can tilt my head, look carefully about, and see all that is majestic around. His hand of mercy creating beauty in nature, in His people, in my family, in...

I miss so much trying to manage the drive...

Blessings on your day.

Menu Planning Mondays

2012-01-23T12:06:00.000-06:00

For the past several years, we have tried and tried to eat out less. It is not that we do so very often... but when we can easily drop $35.00 on a trip through the Golden Arches, every time matters. With careful meal planning, I can make a complete family dinner for around $10.00. With this in mind, I am overwhelmed by how wasteful it is for me to spend the equivalent of 3.5 dinners at home on food that is not even good for us! Since we have started meal planning, we have eaten out one time... and it was planned and budgeted for as a special event. I am thrilled that my planning is making a difference!

Maybe you are stuck on that $10.00 amount above. How can we feed our family of 6 for $10.00 or less? A lot of things come into play when I am trying to figure out what we will eat this week. It is important for you to know that I also love to use coupons. A couple of years ago, we began couponing in a way that really impacted our family budget. We planned meals around those things that I could buy with coupons, at a greatly reduced cost. When those items came around, I bought a bunch and stored them up to be used over time. Unfortunately, the way coupons work seems to have been impacted by recent TV shows that depict people (often, though not always) abusing coupons and store policies. Because of this, my couponing has been somewhat curtailed. If you are interested in learning more about how to make the most of your grocery shopping, I recommend Jill Cataldo's Coupon blog. I have learned so much from this site and hope it will be useful to you, too.

Now, onto my menu for the week! I will be posting only dinners, as our breakfast and lunches are basically the same. My children carry a lunch to school and they pack them with things I have on hand. There is always a healthy snack in their lunches so I keep these things available. Looking for an easy, inexpensive, healthy lunch item? Pick up a bag of clementines! Kids usually love them and they are easy to peel! Our breakfasts rotate between eggs and toast, cereal, whole wheat waffles and oatmeal. I assign each of these items a day of the week and most often my kids can help with the preparation.

Dinners this week:

Monday: Meatballs, mashed potatoes and corn from our packing last summer. I will be making the easy meatballs using chili sauce and grape jelly tossed with meatballs in the crock pot. I always love these when we have them elsewhere but rarely remember to make them!

Tuesday: Ham and potato casserole with veggies. I still have cooked, diced ham in my freezer from Christmas which I will add to the recipe for Party Potatoes. My kids love this meal and it makes use of things I have on hand.

Wednesday: Sloppy Joes with carrots and french fries. I was able to find ground beef on sale last week so I have this on hand in my freezer. I found Sloppy Joe mix on sale and had a coupon for it a while back so this will be a very inexpensive meal! Love that. I have been slowly cutting back on chips and french fries for my family so I know they will love this treat.

Thursday: Meatloaf with spinach and noodles. I have a great recipe for Pizza meatloaf and since I have the meat from last week's sale, this will make good use of that! To make spinach, I buy a large container of baby spinach and rinse it very well. I drain it out, shaking away any extra water and then add it to a very hot pan with a bit of heated olive oil. It wilts quickly. I add two cloves of chopped, fresh garlic and stir it around. Once the wilting begins, I am almost done! I put a lid on the pan, turn off the heat and let it steam away for a few. Sometimes, I will drain it before serving. All of kids love spinach made this way and it is quick, easy and healthy, too!

Friday: Bubble pizza, again? I am thinking so! This is a great option when my kids have friends over for dinner... inexpensive and feeds a crowd!

Saturday: Beef and barley soup. I have a dear friend who makes this for our Supper Swap and I love this easy recipe. I can use a lot of ingredients I have on hand and will, once again, use the beef I bought on sale and froze. The recipe I use is similar to one I found on AllRecipes.com

Sunday: Roast, mashed potatoes, bread, gravy, corn casserole and applesauce. :) I love Sundays.

So, this week is heavy on beef... which I wish was not so. But, here is what I am beginning to learn: I have a great responsibility to feed my family each day. And, in the grand scheme of things, we are overwhelmingly blessed with an abundant table. I want to make the most of the things we have and the things we can afford... and this week, that plan was effected by a great sale on ground beef. We have taken to browning and rinsing our ground beef to remove as much fat as possible. While I know these meals are far from gourmet, I also know that gourmet is not the standard to live by today. Today, I have four kiddos with grumbly tummies and palates that prefer mac and cheese to most other foods. So... this menu is realistic. Realistic to my family. Realistic to my finances. Realistic to me. My days for gourmet dinners is yet to come... and when that happens, I will be thrilled. But this week? Simple and affordable will guide our meals.

What are you making this week? What guides your meal planning? I would love to hear from you!

Blessings on your day!

Something to Try for the Weekend!

2012-01-20T07:00:00.000-06:00

Sometimes when I am cooking in the kitchen alone, it is easy to feel a little left out or taken for granted. This weekend, make a meal together. Think of something kid friendly and easy that you all can participate in creating. Want an idea? Pick up a package of pita breads and some pizza sauce and cheese and top the pitas as you would a pizza. Add veggies, sausage, pepperoni, etc... Each of you can make a personal pizza to your liking!

Blessings on your weekend!

Managing Media and Raising my Kids: Part One

2012-01-19T13:04:00.004-06:00

My sweet boy called me upstairs with a question. He needed to talk. So up I went into what might be better described as a gentle confrontation... but one that was necessary at the time. With all his tween-y confidence, he put his hand on my shoulder and told me we needed to talk about media... TV, movies, video games and the like... and our boundaries with such things. I held my breath.

When my babies were born, I remember feeling this need to protect them. I remember seeing the world from a whole new view and wondering about things I had never considered before. I remember wanting to keep them safe... not just in body but in heart, mind, spirit. I remember feeling overwhelmed with the task and wondering how we could protect and teach our children so that they would be ready to meet the world.

At first, the choices were easy. Given the choice of Rugrats or Little Bear, we chose Little Bear. Then, they got a bit harder... We noticed things that had not previously mattered to us and wondered if they would matter to our children. In the Lion King, the dad dies a horrible death. How old would they need to be before they saw that scene? Scooby-Doo has scary themes. Some shows were just dumb. Some were so mouthy. Some were amazing...

We wrestled with the same ideas when it came to reading books. Reading Goodnight, Moon was classic. Sharing The Lion, The Witch and Wardrobe was necessary. Walking with tears through the end of Charlotte's Web was wonderful. But what about other books? Books made from tv shows or current movies... books that had little to offer... books that had difficult themes?

All of it was hard. Parenting with intentionality can be like that. The issue was not that we wanted to shelter them. It was, instead, a deep desire to expose them to what the world would offer at a time that was appropriate for them. The truth is that I know my babies best. And I have always tried to have a sense of what would make them laugh or break their hearts or make them wonder so that I can meet them in that place. Not to stop it. Not to prevent it. But to walk with them through it, if need be. To think together, to laugh together, to discern together... I wanted to be there to teach them what they needed to learn... and I wanted media to support that desire.

But, how is that really done? When my kids are exposed to so many things all day long... at school, on the internet, in commercials, in print... the whole thing is really difficult.

One of the things I would love to do this year, is think about this together. I would love to throw out some things we have tried and hear about what works for you. Because in the world today, kids see an awful lot. And some it changes who they are... sometimes in a way that is beautiful and good... and sometimes in a way that is broken and hard. So what can we do to help direct our families through this ever-growing media maze? How can we protect their hearts without sheltering them from reality?

From the time my kids could understand, we have told them we would be careful. We have regularly said that we want to choose mindfully what they see, hear, read, watch because once an image or concept goes into their sweet little selves, we cannot get it back out. Does this mean we want to keep them from all things current culture? Not at all. It simply means I want us all, even Mark and I, to think through this things carefully and not just follow whatever is hot and whatever is new in media today.

What about you? How do you choose what your kids can see, read, play, listen to? Throughout this year, let's process through this together. Let's look at movies, at choices, at books and video games and talk together about how we choose what we release to our children and when. Because, that part... the when... it matters an awful lot. What we thought was okay for our kiddos at 8 cannot be where we stop. Our managing of media is constantly in flux because our kids are growing up. Makes this a tricky topic...

The truth is, we are constantly working this through. And sometimes I think we are doing okay... and sometimes, my tween calls me upstairs because I am totally missing the mark. So, for today... share a bit of direction here. How do you choose what is okay for your kids? Do you have a site you rely on for direction? A rule for your kids to remember?

Leave a comment and let's start thinking. The next post on media will focus on movies!

Blessings on your day!

Menu Planning Monday... On Wednesday!

2012-01-18T11:00:00.000-06:00

You probably thought I forgot all about you, didn't you? Oh, how crazy the weeks can be! With my kids off of school on Monday, my time was spent with them... and then I found myself behind on Tuesday! So, today is my day for catching up. While I wrote the menu for this week on Sunday, this is my first opportunity to post it here.

The menu planning has been a huge hit with my family. I am finding that it is helpful to me in planning... but also that it is helpful to the kids. For those who are particularly picky, it can be so helpful for them to know what is coming up. We have a lot less complaining and fussing over food! Love that. On Sunday, I post the menu on the fridge so they can look it over and so they can help with meal prep., too!

The breakfasts and lunches will be very similar to last week. If you missed that post, you can find it here. I had considered not assigning breakfast foods but changed my mind. The menu seems to be encouraging all the kids to try new foods and to eat a greater variety of items throughout the week. This is great for my budget, too! I am able to spread out more expensive items and encourage more fruits and veggies... a bonus I did not anticipate when we began.

Dinners this week:

Monday- The kids were out of school and we "splurged" on our favorite burger place! Eating at home saves money on costly beverages and the kids were thrilled for the treat!

Tuesday-Hot pork sandwiches with veggies and dip. This simple recipe uses my crock pot, leftover Sunday roast and canned good I keep on hand. We use: one can of beef broth, one envelope Italian dressing seasoning, one jar mild pepper rings, one jar mild giardiniera. Simply throw all of this in the crock pot and let it simmer all day. Serve on crusty rolls with cheese. So easy, so good!

Wednesday-Chicken taquitos with dips and rice. I use the recipe found here and make extras to freeze. The dips are mainly healthy... homemade salsa, homemade guacamole, taco dip and one cheese dip. These are served with the taquitos and can personalize the meal. The last time we made these, my kids went nuts for them! Very family friendly!

Thursday-Spaghetti with sauteed spinach and homemade garlic bread. The last time I made spaghetti sauce, I froze a bunch so I am set for this meal. The recipe for spaghetti sauce and meatballs found here is the very best I have ever had... totally worth the time spent making it. Try it. I dare ya!

Friday-Bubble Pizza with fruit. Friday, we are hoping to have friends over so fun food is a perfect fit! Bubble pizza is fast and easy and most kids love it. Have you tried it? Here is a recipe you can peruse but feel free to personalize it with the toppings your family loves the most. (We use Italian sausage instead of ground beef.)

Saturday-Chili dogs with veggies. Last week's chili dogs got replaced with something else so the supplies are still here and the meal can be used. Saturday afternoons are perfect for this!

Sunday Dinner-We always make a big, traditional dinner on Sundays after church. This week, I will make a beef roast in the crock pot (my kids call this "the meat that falls apart when you touch it"... catchy, huh?) and with that we will have mashed potatoes, gravy, homemade bread, corn we froze last summer and applesauce (I throw in some Red Hots to make our special family recipe!). The leftovers from this meal will make lunches for Mark for next week and be used in, at least, one meal to come.

So, there it is. One week of meals using a bunch of things I had on hand! What are you making this week? I would love some new ideas! The traffic on last week's menu post was amazing. As long as you are here, please leave a quick message below about what you are cooking or what you would like to try. Your thoughts can encourage so many others to try new things! Thanks so much!

Blessings on your day!

Something to Try for the Weekend

2012-01-13T07:00:00.000-06:00

We find that so much family time is lost to technology... computers, TVs, video-games, texting. This weekend, try to schedule a Tech Free Time. Maybe a morning, maybe an hour, maybe an entire day! What can you do with your family if the distractions are taken away?

Blessings on your weekend!

Snow, Expectations and Trust...

2012-01-11T12:49:00.000-06:00

If you ask anyone in the Midwest about the weather, you are sure to hear a strong opinion. Living here, we have little option but to embrace the seasons find something to look forward to in whatever is coming next. While I know plenty of folks who detest Chicago winters, I am not among them. Once the leaves have fallen from the trees in the woods near my home, I know it is time for snow. Having lived in this area forever, the ebb and flow of warm and cold is a rhythm that lends familiarity to my life. I rarely complain about whatever the season... until this year.

This weather is driving me nuts. To date, we have had less than 2 inches of snow total and most days the temperature hovers around 40 degrees... most definitely not normal for a Chicago winter! There was news coverage yesterday of people golfing and playing tennis outdoors. In January. In the Midwest. The lack of precipitation was most evident during the holidays when the grass in my yard was actually beginning to green! In an effort to offer a feeling of winter to my family, I sprayed "snow" from a can on all our windows on Christmas Eve so we awoke to seasonal scene! Yep, it is just plain driving me nuts.

I think so much of my frustration has to do with expectations. In September, we decorated with apples and pumpkins. In November, we added turkeys and cornucopias. As fall progressed, I used my crock-pot more, made heartier meals and watched the world outside blossom into reds, oranges and browns. The leaves fell away and I knew what would come next. It is a gift, really... the beauty of snow blanketing the drab brown of trees gone dormant and leaves blown away. I held my breath. I could do nothing. And what I expected never actually occurred.

Sometimes, expectations are like that. We know what is supposed to happen next. We anxiously expect that arrival. And sometimes things go according to plan. And sometimes they do not.

Sounds a lot like parenting, doesn't it? As we walk through the seasons of raising our family, we live with the pressure of what is expected. A smooth labor. A healthy baby. An easy adjustment to nursing. Milestones met on time. A peaceful family. An organized adoption. Children who grow in faith. Patience in parenting. Time for your spouse. Supportive family and friends. Sufficient resources. Great education. Healthy friendships for our kids. Kids who grow up. Kids who go to college. Kids who get married. Grand-kids.

We expect the path to follow the way we think it should go. We believe that the expecting is what will make it so. Except, parenting... and life... rarely follows the path we expect. And, I don't know about you... but in all honesty, it can drive me a little nuts. Because no matter how hard we work, no matter how hard we try, no matter how much we strive, life doesn't usually work out that way.

So, here is the point where you think I will tie this up... neatly with a little bow. But, how honest would that be, really? Because disappointment from lost expectations is nothing that anyone should make neat. When your family is broken, you lose a child, you struggle with parenting, your marriage is rocky, your finances are a mess, your extended family is absent, your kids are ill, or you are lost in the missing of what you thought would come your way, it hurts. It leaves questions, frustration, confusion and sadness. At least it does for me. There are no words that can make that right...

There are a lot of things that I do not know... but this I have found to be true. Sometimes... not always... but sometimes, the-thing-that-comes-instead can be awfully sweet, too. Unexpected. Hard-won. Beautiful. And without the loss, we would have missed it altogether. It may not make it better... but I think it makes it different. And different is not all bad.

For the first time this season, we are expecting a snow storm in Chicago. I don't know if it will actually come but maybe it will. I will wait to wash the spray-snow off the windows... but somewhere deep inside me, I am harboring a bit of hope. Not hope in the snow. Hope in the One who makes it. Hope in the One who holds this crazy weather, and my sweet family, smack in the palm of His hand. Because I can expect whatever I want, but maybe I need to learn to trust... trust that it might not look like I thought... trust that my kids will all be okay... trust that my family will find it's way... trust.

Letting go of expectations is hard. Learning to trust is too. But, I am grateful to know that we can be blanketed in beauty even in the midst of the battle.

Blessings on your day.

Menu Planning Monday

2012-01-09T11:16:00.000-06:00

One of the goals I am working with for the new year is to do a better job of planning our meals. When I plan meals, we make better use of the food we have on hand and spend less on grocery shopping. I love to use coupons and planning a menu helps me to use the coupons we have on hand to further reduce our food costs. All of that is good! I also post our menu on the fridge which gives my kids a chance to get excited about the meals they love and to prepare themselves for the meals they loathe. :)

Another bonus? Maybe this doesn't happen to you, but when we work without a plan, healthy meals can fall by the wayside and we eat out more than we would like. I have also noticed that encouraging my kids to try new foods is important but often neglected. When we eat the same meals often, I find myself feeling bored with meal preparation which is no good for anyone! So, it is time for me to take the initiative and start planning! Want to know what's cooking here this week?

The kids went back to school today so we are back in routine mode. Breakfast is important to us but it also matters that the kids can make breakfast, most days, on their own. With kids leaving in shifts and being driven to two different campuses, I am not always available to cook a hot breakfast. So this week, the kids are given choices of cereal, toast and eggs or oatmeal. My older boys know how to quickly scramble an egg so this works well! In addition to these items, we have yogurt and string cheese and fruit on hand to round out the morning meal. For days when I am available to cook, we will have eggs and sausage, waffles and sausage or pumpkin muffins.

My kids carry a lunch to school daily. They enjoy a wide variety of foods for this, though not all are as healthy as I would like. On the menu this week for packed lunches are: sandwiches supplies (peanut butter, honey, ham and cheese), mac and cheese, canned soups, pizza rolls, lean pockets, whole wheat crackers, fruit snacks, fresh fruit, chips, oatmeal cookies, etc...

Now for dinner! I began this week's menu based on what I had gotten on sale last week. With the holidays over, we picked up a turkey on a great sale. Even though that will make a lot of work for me today, roasting a turkey this afternoon will help to feed us for several meals. So here are our dinners for this week:

Monday: Roasted turkey dinner with all the fixings! I will make mashed potatoes, fresh bread, gravy, sweet potatoes, roasted Brussels sprouts and stuffing.

Tuesday: Turkey soup! I have a speaking engagement on Tuesday so using my crock pot will be really helpful. We have a shortcut for making soup... When tight on time, try picking out some cans of a healthy soup and using them as a base for a home-made version you can personalize. Add fresh or frozen veggies, roasted meat and spices to taste. We have also thrown a bit of gravy into our soup which makes the broth much richer. We will serve rolls or fresh bread with this.

Wednesday: Smoked sausage, mac and cheese and veggies! After two days of turkey, I know we won't want another! :) I am planning here for an easy meal that the kids can help with. I have a coupon for smoked sausage and have mac and cheese on hand. Roasted broccoli or kale chips will round this out.

Thursday: Lasagna, garlic bread and roasted veggies! I have a speaking engagement on Thursday, too. An easy meal will help a ton! I have a frozen lasagna to use so that is great for this week! Are you noticing a trend here with our veggies? My kids will eat almost anything we roast. :) If you ask them about their favorite veggies, they will quickly say broccoli and Brussels sprouts but we serve both roasted. It is easy to do! A little olive oil and a hot oven and veggies taste amazing!

Friday: Turkey enchiladas! Using the last of our turkey, I will make enchiladas. I have tortillas, enchilada sauce and black beans on hand. I only need to pick up some cheese and mix this one up! We will serve this dinner with Mexican rice and corn we froze last summer.

Saturday: Fun and easy dinner... Chili dogs! This was one of the new meals I began introducing to my kids. I know it could be healthier so I will serve it with pita chips and hummus. My kids are still not sold on hummus but we are chipping away at that a bit at a time.

Sunday: Pork roast and all the fixings! We make a big Sunday dinner every week but try to make enough to help my menu for the next week. On Sunday, we will have pork roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn casserole, roasted broccoli, homemade applesauce and homemade bread. Next week, our leftover pork roast will make for hot sandwiches from the crock pot!

So, that is what we are eating this week. What about you? What is on your menu? What do you do to help your kids try new (and healthier?) foods? How do you save on your dinner menu? I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas about menu planning at home!

Blessings on your day!

Something to Try for the Weekend

2012-01-07T09:00:00.000-06:00

Letting our kids see the silly side can help us to build helpful connections. Take time this weekend to play with abandon, even for a few minutes, with those you love so well!

Blessings on your weekend!

What if?

2012-01-05T13:58:00.000-06:00

The new year has come and I find myself surrounded by resolutions, many of which flow naturally from questions that must be asked...

What if... I finished this book and published it one way or another?

What if... I was less motivated by selfish desires and more by a servant's heart?

What if... I stopped stressing out about where we are all headed and enjoyed more of where we are?

What if... I trusted God with those things that worry me instead of trying to handle them myself?

What if... I reached out in my speaking ministry and let it blossom in that way?

What if... I found an agent who has knowledge and experience to direct my speaking and writing?

What if... I looked for daily sources of joy and helped my family do the same?

What if... I remembered the importance of following God's lead and helped my children to follow, too?

What if... I focused less on having and more on releasing things?

What if... I took my health a lot more seriously and started feeling stronger?

What if... I worked on friendships the way I did when I was young?

What if... I put the amount of energy into my marriage that I know our marriage demands?

And lastly... What if I did not find excuses, did not manufacture excuses... but instead sought to do and be those things I know I need to do and be? What does that mean for me? For my family? For my speaking? For my writing?

It is a brand new year. There are things about my humble life that I love... and things I know could use some change. But, I cannot change what I do not see... So, it is time to see. It is time for me, time for my family, time for you, as well.

Because, really. Think about it.

What if...

Blessings on your day.

Christmas Mess

2011-12-09T10:18:00.001-06:00

As I sit here in the sun, I am surrounded by the trappings of it all. Boxes half-empty. Bags pulled from the attic. Tiny tufts of pink insulation that traveled down and lie lifeless on the floor. The tree is up and lights are strung and the mounds of decorations are ready to be placed. I know it will all look lovely but for now it is just a mess.

Oddly though, nothing in this mess has a thing to do with Christmas. Except... possibly... the mess itself. Because the truth is that a stable is an awfully messy place to birth your baby boy. And Mary and Joseph's lives... oh, their young and faithful lives... quickly became a mess, as well. When I spend these minutes thinking about it all... I realize perhaps I have misunderstood faith in more ways than one. Because sometimes we think that being faithful will make our lives organized, shiny and neat. That the right of it will clear the wrong of the world. And yet, The One we seek to be faithful to came into the world in a way that created chaos in His loving parent's lives.

They were faithful and God still led them into a situation beyond what they could comprehend.

They were faithful and God still called them to do a job they felt inadequate to do.

They were faithful and God still allowed them to feel judged by the world around them.

They were faithful...

It had to feel like a mess. A holy, purposeful, blessed and confusing mess.

And yet, all they had to do was trust. Trust and walk. Because some messes are not so easily cleaned. And some cannot and should not be cleaned at all.

So Mary and Joseph settled into their mess and embraced their boy and did what felt impossible to them. They raised The One who would save us all. They wiped His tears and met His needs until He grew into who He always was... The One who would wipe my tears, and yours... and meet my needs, and yours...

I think there is nothing neat about faith. It is, instead, a willingness to trust that even in the chaos, we are not alone. It is, instead, trusting that somehow His Hand will uncover the lovely beneath.

Blessings on your day.

Carpooling and Surprised by Grace

2011-09-26T13:17:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, I am still surprised. I know that people say that the world is cruel place, that we have to be careful, that we should not go off trusting people willy-nilly. And so sometimes, I am surprised to find that much of this distrust is unnecessary and much of it is false.

Noah started high school this year and made the soccer team as well. Our days and nights are full and carefully planned. There are games and practices and activities and things that draw his attention and ours. And while all of this is shiny and new, the lives of our other three children are brimming over with things that are new to them. One is learning to read on a brand new level. Another is finding the balance needed when homework increases and friends abound. Another is juggling middle school demands with academic expectations and all of it is important to them... and to us.

As we planned for fall, it became evident that we could not be at everything for everyone. A tricky thing for us since we have tried, thus far, to be present at those things our kids take on. So, we jumped into a car-pool and Noah found himself driving to and from games with 4 of his buddies and one of their folks. In this group, we take our turn. Now, truth be told, I was thrilled that we could find a group that was willing to share this load with us. The decision, at the outset, was practical and good. So, imagine my surprise when it became far more than that.

Imagine my surprise when a mom comments on my son's character in a way that brings grateful tears to my momma-eyes. Imagine my surprise when it is my day to drive carpool and another mom offers to take my little ones so they do not have to spend so much time in the van. Imagine my surprise when being present at a game will keep me from picking up another child from school and yet another mom steps up and offers her home for him to hang out in until one of us can pick him up. Imagine...

The list can go on and on and I find myself humbled and grateful to be so regularly surprised.

Sometimes, I think we allow ourselves to feel all alone in the world. Sometimes, we lock our doors and peer out the windows assuming that what is found on the other side is dark and scary and bad. We assume that those who draw close are planning to take from us in some way and we allow this fear to push us away from reaching out. And maybe, we have been hurt. Maybe, you have found that there are those who do not seek to help, who do not speak words of encouragement, who are hard or selfish or mean...

But, here is what I am learning this year... I am learning that what I expect has a lot to do with what I see. And I am learning that there are good people around me who help because they choose to help. And I am learning that being near them makes me expect more from myself... makes me want to offer more to others... makes me navel-gaze a little less and look around to see what I can offer to those who are sitting beside me. Because the truth is, there is a lot of good out there... but we have a part to play as well.

Last week, I found myself across the table from a dear, old friend. She listened as I told about my work as a speaker and a writer. After a few minutes, she leaned back and said, "I can totally see you doing this. You have always been able to talk to a crowd and communicate well." She went on to reflect on things she has seen in me over many years of friendship. Her kind words washed over me and, all over again, I was lost in the wonder of kindness. I was reminded how it matters what we do. I was reminded that it matters what we say. And I was reminded, deeply, that the work we do as mommas can leave us hungry for such affirmation.

So today, let's look around a bit. Let's look at those around us in a brand new way and let God nudge us in the way we should go. Let's be open to lending a hand, offering a compliment, and being a wave of needed grace in the life of someone nearby. Because the world is what we make of it... and finding a way to connect to others and allow them to do the same makes it an awfully sweet place to be. We have the chance, today, to be the hands and voice of God to the people He dearly loves.

It's strange to me to think that those who have taught me these lessons just might read this blog. I think they will wonder why their kindness strikes me... it seems to be so much a part of how they are wired. So, if that is you, just know this... Kindness matters and for all your gentle words and times of conversation, for all your offers of help and time spent driving, for all you are teaching me and for all you offer my boy, thank you. Thank you. It is in the ordinary living of life in community that I am reminded of the richness of grace.

Blessings on your day.

Blog Rewind: How It Happened For Us

2011-09-11T17:36:00.000-05:00

:::Each year, I post our experiences from September 11. This is the day, as I remember it, ten years ago:::

Noah was four. Benjamin was almost three. I had MOMs Group that morning and was trying desperately to get ready for the opening meeting of our season. The boys were watching Blue's Clues and I was trying to run a brush through my tangled tresses while answering the phone ringing with requests from freshman college students for keys and ideas and notes about classes. We were living at Trinity Christian College then, our family of four, as residence directors of South Hall.

I was later than I should have been and needed to get to church. I almost didn't answer the phone but thinking better of ignoring a call, I grabbed it and ran to the back to find shoes for my day. It was Mark.

"Is the TV on?" he asked.

"The boys are watching Blue's Clues..."

He said, "Nadia, we have been attacked. You have to turn on the news. Something bad is happening."

I don't remember hanging up but I remember turning the channel and looking at my boys... those little blond heads... those bright, wide eyes. I saw it then. So did they. The look on Diane Sawyer's face. The tone of Peter Jennings voice. The buildings. The airplanes. We stood still, the three of us and I suddenly thought that I needed to protect my boys.

I took them by the hands and led them to their toys. I turned off the sound on the TV and read through the captions instead. I tried to process it all, tried to think, tried to figure out what you do when this happens. I had no idea.

Working on a college campus is a complicated thing. I had a responsibility that morning to my babies playing with blocks and to the 250 freshmen students who lived in my building. We did not have cable and they were in class. Somehow they would have to be told what had happened to their country and without knowing exactly what to say, I typed a sign that we would hang in the building to help them to know that something had changed... that something had happened... that what we thought we were, where we thought we lived, how safe we felt had all become something incredibly different. I did not save that document on my computer. I wish I would have. I know that I typed something about a terrorist attack in New York. I know that I tried to be calm and clear and follow Peter Jennings lead of giving only the information we actually knew. It suddenly felt like we knew nothing at all.

After posting the signs on every door in South Hall, I left quickly for church and the MOMs Group I helped to run. It was our opening morning. The boys were uncharacteristically quiet on the drive and I put the radio on only in the front of our truck. As I drove, a building fell. On the radio, they announced that several other airplanes were still "missing" and that they had no idea what to expect. I called Mark from the truck. He works downtown Chicago in a building that is part of our skyline.

"Come home." I said.

He told me that he was not sure he would be allowed to leave and I pleaded with him explaining that he really might not be safe. He talked about job security. He could not see the TV. He had NO idea what it looked like. The video was very motivating.

"If they fire you for leaving on a day like today, so be it. COME HOME."

He agreed and made plans to leave the city.

By the time I got to MOMs Group, the second building had fallen. Into church came moms, at least three with multiples, juggling their children and questioning the day. We had quads, triplets and twins in the nursery, tired mommas drinking coffee and a ministry to run.

Auto-pilot. Two and a half hours of auto-pilot. Welcome. Pray. Wonder. Chat. Wonder. Worry. Chat. Pray.

My cell phone rang as the moms were leaving. Mark was out of the city. We live 30 minutes from downtown and the commute had taken him nearly three hours. By the time he had gotten to the train to come home there were thousands of people downtown, crammed underground, fleeing Chicago in hopes of getting safely home to their families. He said it was scary seeing so many people in one place... knowing we could be attacked and thinking how they sat, waiting for trains, like sitting ducks.

We met at a restaurant and I don't know if I have ever been so happy to see him. Our city was never hit... but thinking that it might be was overwhelming to me. I could not begin to imagine the loss and heartbreak New York was experiencing... they were people just like me... but I had my husband home. I had him in front of me having a burger and thinking through this experience in discussion and exchanged glances and deep silences filled with words we would never be able to say.

By the time I got back to campus, the students were absorbing the news and were overflowing with questions and worries and feelings none of us knew how to process. The other residence directors and I met together quickly while Mark kept the boys away from any media sources. We had to do something but what do you do? No RD training that we had ever gotten had prepared us for helping the students to understand a terrorist attack on our country. We thought through the possible needs and planned to offer a live feed of the president's address that evening available in the college chapel. We called therapists, pastors and history professors to be on hand that night to meet the students where they were.

After the president spoke, we let the students ask questions and I remember trying to answer them... knowing almost nothing myself. Everything about that day was outside my comfort zone. After the gathering, Mark and I sat in our South Hall apartment while students met with someone who could help them more than we could. Some were in prayer groups. Some were with therapists. Some were with pastors. Some were pondering the historical pieces with professors who could shed light on what this all might mean. I sat stunned. Then, there was a student at the door... she was weeping. She came in.

I knew this young woman well and loved her positive outlook and example to students. It was so early in the year that there were more students we DID NOT know than those we did. But this one, I knew. She rushed into my apartment and sat on the couch. She cried and we waited for feelings to flow to thoughts to flow to words. I cried too.

"I don't know what's wrong with me... " she began, "but I just keep thinking about how sad I am for THEM... for the terrorists who were SO LOST that they would participate in such total evil."

Tears again.

We talked for a while about how she felt bad about feeling bad for them... about how her friends did not understand... about how there is no way to know how we will feel about something like this because we never saw it coming and have no way yet to process it at all.

We cried and prayed and then, with fewer tears, she left the calm of our apartment for the chaos of the residence hall. Mark and I talked about how hard it was for them... for the students who had just graduated from high school, just left for college, just been handed their world, only to find it laying in pieces at their flip-flopped feet.

Over time, the words ran out. The campus quieted. Around midnight, we closed our apartment door. And that was it... the end of the day.

For weeks after that day, I begged Mark to stay home again. I did not know how I would ever trust him to be safe in the city again. If they got New York, they could get Chicago, too. For months I could not go to the city I love so well.... and when I did, I got teary just thinking about the what ifs...

Most people have memories of that time in their lives. We have something more concrete. Because Mark shot video of all campus happenings throughout each school year, we have video taken on campus on September 10. That night we had run a program for roommates to get to know on another better. "Something to Chew On" was a laugh-out-loud list of questions intended to spark conversation between women who were just getting to know each other as friends. The students had come in pajamas and giggled like school girls and eaten cookies with hot chocolate just 12 hours before the whole world changed. It is strange to watch it now... knowing what the morning would bring, knowing what would follow on Mark's videotape next. A presidential address. Prayer groups. Professors discussing. Students embracing. September 11, 2001 in the lower right corner of the shot.

It has been ten years. My boys, now 14 and almost 13 still remember that morning. They called it "the day the airplanes knocked over the buildings" for years, though they now know what it all really was. Our lives are different than they were then and I cannot claim they are not. For months following September 11 people said that if we changed anything about our day to day lives, the terrorists won. Such a strange request... to NOT change after having been through such a significant experience. I am changed. Maybe this is their victory but maybe, just maybe, it is mine.

Since September 11:

-I never take my skyline for granted. I love my city deeper and better than ever before and pray for those who lost loved ones in New York every time I drive into Chicago. I am raising my kids to know that we are exceedingly blessed to live where we live and love the city we call home.

-I value my family in a way I never knew to value them before. Finding out that the world can change first thing in the morning on a clear September day gave me perspective that makes me hug them tighter and hold them longer than I might have otherwise done.

-I understand bravery and sacrifice in a way that I never did before. How does a fire fighter rush into a building that will surely fall? How do you help when you know it may cost you everything? Sacrifice no longer means writing a check to help feed the hungry. It means giving it all. Offering it all. And I still stand AMAZED at those who did just that on the morning of 9/11.

-I know now that I cannot shelter my kids in the way I may have thought necessary before. Instead, I have to teach them... to see, to think, to feel, to learn and to build bridges... and yes, to be careful. Sheltering is nice but preparing is essential. I am careful in how this happens but I am also careful to be sure that it does.

Since September 11, truth be told, I am sometimes fearful, sometimes worried, sometimes unsure about what is happening in this world. But, hope is built as I see life go forward, as I watch my children grow up, as I enjoy a clear day in Chicago. We, as a country, were not destroyed. We did not become something dark and sad and broken. We, as a country, as a family, moved on to what was new for us. A new way to live and to love and to trust and to grow. There is hope in that. Can you see it, too?

Ten years have gone by. It is hard to believe. The names are being read. The president is speaking. We all promise to remember and in doing so, honor the lives of those who were lost on that dark day. And as I sit here now, the faces of so many beloved students flash through my mind... those who walked with us as we found a path we never knew we would need... All of us, the students, MOMs Group, my two blond babies now grown taller, we all are connected in a way that is deeper and more profound than we otherwise would have felt. I am grateful for that because in my confusion and sadness and loss and anger, I did not walk alone. We did not walk alone. God granted us community. He spoke in human voices. He reached out through hands that were cloaked in flesh and blood. Through friends and family and acquaintances and community, God granted comfort to us in our grief. No, we were not then and are not now alone. And in that small but powerful way, the victory, the blessing, is ours.

Bittersweet Beginnings

2011-09-06T11:44:00.000-05:00

I am not sure how it happened but somewhere along the way, I realized that beginning a new school year causes me to look at my children in a way that trumps other touchstones, including their birthdays. To launch from the lazy, hazy days of summer into a brand new grade, causes this momma to stand still a moment and watch. And truth be told, that watching often happens from behind unfallen tears. Beautiful days of bittersweet, it seems...

Yes, we are back to school. Summer has officially closed and lunchboxes are packed and new schedules litter my dining room table. My four babies are off to brand new worlds and brand new teachers and almost overnight, they each are growing up.

Elizabeth began second grade and while we know the teacher well (all the boys had her as too), it will be a different walk for our sweet girl. She will learn to love reading in that room and will make new friends and all of it makes me realize how big she has become. Our baby girl is learning to do so many new things.

Josiah started third grade and this year always holds a weight for me. It is a year of transition, a year of development and I know that the sweet, snuggly boy who has been right by my side for his whole life is beginning a new journey of independence. So much happens in this year... the last year of the younger grades... And to make the transition even more powerful, the first day of school was also Josiah's 9th birthday. I still have him and miss him nonetheless.

Benjamin began 7th grade and his first year of middle school without Noah nearby. This holds blessings for him but is a strange thought, too. He will play soccer without Noah, run cross-country without Noah, start track, try out for the play and do so many things that they did side by side last year. His (and our) feelings are mixed. It is is nice to have your own space but it sure was amazing to see them doing so many amazing things together.

And then... perhaps the biggest transition of all... Noah started his freshman year. I am quite sure that no birthday he has ever celebrated has grown him so quickly as walking through the high school doors. He is playing soccer for his school and taking amazing classes and all of it makes me smile and swell with pride. He talks with us about history and college and teammates and friends and lessons and... well... my first born baby is really, really growing up.

Now the house has fallen quiet and the dog and I wait for the end of each day when they all come home and we collapse together at the dinner table to share our stories and experiences and questions together. And much like you, I find my quiet is haunted with happy memories of summer and childhood and sprinklers and stories that make me smile with a lump in my throat. Because all that they are and were swirls here in the silence... all that I know of my four sweet kids is real and present and treasured today. And as the new school year begins, we will find ourselves discovering new things and my babies will keep growing and I will keep wondering where all the time has gone.

Maybe that is a little bitter-sweet. But my eyes are on the latter...

May you sense the sweet today.

Blessings on your day.

Blog Rewind(ish): 28

2011-08-09T09:15:00.002-05:00

***Today marks the 28th anniversary of the day I became a Christian. That day, in 1983, I made a decision that would change my life. I wanted to share some thoughts about that with you here today. Please read on. ***

I remember the room being hot and crowded. It was evening and we had gathered for a concert to be put on by a Christian college band. I remember there were three people in that group... that they could sing... and that I was seated in the front row with my friends Laura and Lisa.

For months before that night, Laura had seen the need for what would soon occur. I did not. I will always be grateful to her for spending a year talking to me, teaching me, leading me toward truth. As a 16 year old girl, my life was about my boyfriend and whatever fun event we could next attend. Laura lived a different life... nicer, kinder, more closely aligned with that which was good... and slowly, as we became friends, she expected the same from me. I knew there was something different about her life but the details of it were lost on me.

At Christmas, 8 months before the night of the concert, Laura gave me a gift. As I pulled back the holiday wrapping paper, I held in my hands something I had never touched before. The book was black and in the lower right hand corner of the cover, embossed in silver, was my name. It was a Bible. A Bible of my very own.

When Laura invited me to go to camp with her that summer, I really had no idea what to expect. I had never been to camp and certainly never a Christian camp but something in me tugged. Something in me knew I needed to go.

I don't honestly remember most of that week. I know that we went swimming and spent time outside. I know there was a couple of cold days... odd for early August. I know there was singing and chapel and a camp ditty that I remember clear as a bell even today.

"Way down in Crown Point, in Indiana, there is a camp that is the champ of all we know...

It's what we're here for, we're hear to cheer for, the greatest place to learn and play and pray and grow..."

But, I digress...

Yes, there were camp-y things that week. But in the end, those things meant very little because as I sat in that front row, friends on either side, my life was about to change in a way that would alter everything that I would do or think or hope for from that day on.

The concert was good... and the lyrics were significant. Then came one song, by David Meece, that would hit me hard and clarify for me what true need was... clarify for me what I needed. The chorus went something like this...

"Everybody needs a little help to get their life together

(And you're no exception)

Everybody needs another hand that they can hold onto.

Everybody needs a little help to get their life together

And I want to give it to you."

As I sat there listening, all these little pieces of my life came together. I understood something about what made Laura's life different from mine. I could see how badly I needed help to pull my life together into something beautiful... usable. But suddenly, I could see how I was fully unable to do that alone. Fully unable to help myself. Fully unable to save myself. Just plain fully unable.

As I listened to that concert, I did not hear the voices of three college-aged men singing a David Meece song from 1978. I heard God. I heard His very voice saying to me... "It's okay. You're a mess. Everybody needs help. I WANT to help you. I can. Let me."

And then, I started to cry. Now, if you know me at all, you know this is not something I am very comfortable with, crying in public. But, it was not a choice, it was a response. It was an overflowing expression of my deepest need; to know my God and to let Him love me. To love Him back. And so I sat, in the front row at a church camp concert, weeping my 16-year-old heart out and getting it for the first time ever.

I became a Christian on August 9, 1983. On that day, I stood up and accepted a gift that God had given to me centuries before I was even born. I am not sure what day in my life could ever be more important than that because all days before and after August 9th have been effected by my choosing Jesus that night and by His unfailing love for me. My wedding. The birth of my children. Everything. The entire direction of my life changed that day and while it has not, in any way, been easy... it has been right.

I have been on this journey of faith, walking with my God, for 28 years. I am humbled by that length of time... humbled by how badly I have needed Jesus during those years... humbled by how loved and tended to I have felt along the way. When I stood that night, tears on my cheeks, and professed aloud what I was learning to believe, I had no idea the change that would come. But, standing here today, I can tell you that the change of direction and the change of habit in my life are NOTHING in comparison to the change of heart. Knowing the Creator of all that is and calling Jesus my friend has offered a peace in the midst of so many violent storms. I have been given a foundation on which to stand when the world around me shakes. And even more importantly... I have hope. I am not alone in these difficult times and I am not abandoned to these troubles. I have hope, my dear friends, that the One who loves me best is at work in ways I cannot see and He will be next to me throughout the times that are too hard. And when all of this life ceases to be... ahhh, then I will know in a brand new way what hope TRULY is. When my days on this earth are done, you will find me in Heaven, where my faith will become sight.

I have been a Christian for 28 years. It has not been easy. It has not been without doubt. But, I am overwhelmed with gratitude and I would not change a thing.

What's Up With the Blog?

2011-08-01T14:15:00.003-05:00

Ahh, how patient you've been! I have heard from many of you over the past several months, wondering where I have been and what has become of the blog. Thank you for your emails. I always love hearing from you and am eager to tell you what is happening around here.

As many of you know, I am the busy mom to four children and love my work with them. The end of the school year held a lot of excitement and a lot of fullness for our family. My oldest graduated from 8th grade in June and we all found ourselves wrapped up in that amazing transition. Throughout the spring and early summer, all the children were involved in sports and games and life was very full. Good, just full.

While my attention and time was turned to my four kiddos, I was also working hard on a book project that I have wanted to complete for some time. Many of you have heard about the Sticks! program in your churches or on this site and it was time to get that book proposal completed. So, I dug my toes in here and worked on completing the proposal in a way that actually felt... complete. Once that was finally done, I was able to pass that work on to a team of folks who are reviewing it. I would love to say that it was on its way to becoming a book. (I would really LOVE to say that!) For now, I know it is being reviewed. When I hear more, I will pass the word. I am thrilled though to have gotten this far in the process and am eager to see this book project through. Having spoken on the Sticks! program for years, I am always amazed at the response. I have gotten so much positive feedback from all of you who have tried it and then let me know how it went. It is my strongest desire to offer encouragement to parents who are looking for a new plan for their families and homes. I am praying that this book might become a tool that is available to those who are looking for that help.

So, the book proposal has been handed off and I am now working on the upcoming speaking season. I have developed a new topic for this year and am eager to start offering that talk soon. As always, if you or anyone you know is looking for a speaker, please go to www.NadiaSwearingen-Friesen.com to check out my topics and then be in touch about what you need this year. Dates book quickly in August, so let's talk soon!

So, what about the blog? With all the hubbub in our family and with all that has happened with the book proposal, the blog was one thing that needed to be set aside. I have loved blogging over the years and am eager to return to this place. I believe there will be some changes but I am excited about diving back in. I hope to offer more giveaways, as well. So, if you have been stopping in, keep your eyes open and soon I will be up and running again.

Now, back to summer we go! Today is August 1 and we have less than a month left to share! What will you do with that time? I have been reminded lately of the importance of spending time... the great importance of finding ourselves face to face with those we love and enjoying that time together. This has nothing to do with money. Nothing to do with vacations. Nothing to do with what we wish we could do and everything to do with what we choose. The full schedule of fall will be upon us soon. Today is August 1. What will you choose to do with the time we have left together?

Thanks for reading again. I would love to hear from you. Leave a post below and let us know what you are doing with these last summer days. How helpful to have new ideas to pursue!

Blessings on your day!

Blog Rewind: Irish Recipes and 'Siah's Story

2011-03-17T09:32:00.001-05:00

This morning, I asked my kids if they were ready to eat Irish food today. Noah came alongside me, put his arm around me and smiling said, "How did I get the mom who takes every holiday or tragedy as an opportunity to make me eat food from somewhere else?"

(He is most recently referring to a day of Haitian food--recipes available on the blog--and Canadian food on the night of the Olympic opening ceremonies!)

He gave me a squeeze and I hugged him back.

"Look at it this way, buddy... at least you don't have a chance to be B-O-R-E-D."

"You don't have to spell it, Mom." he replied. "That word is not ACTUALLY a swear."

If you have been reading this blog for a while, you likely already know that the "B" word is not allowed in our house. : ) But, I do love keeping my family on their toes by offering a new meal, every now and then. St. Patrick's Day is the perfect opportunity to expose them to Irish food, something we rarely have in our home.

Last year, I made shepherds pie... and died the mashed potatoes green. We ate cabbage and drank green lemonade and all of it was really fun. This year, we are trying something new. For dinner, we are having Irish stew with colcannon and soda bread. For dessert, we are making homemade shamrock shakes. Want the recipes?

Braised Beef Irish Stew and Colcannon:

1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 (3 pound) beef chuck roast, trimmed of fat and cut into 1/2-inch cubes
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 cup coarsely chopped onion
1 cup coarsely chopped carrot
1 (12 fluid ounce) can or bottle dark beer
2 bay leaves
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce

Calcannon:
3 slices bacon
2 pounds russet potatoes, peeled and cut into chunks
2 cups thinly sliced cabbage
1/4 cup milk, warmed
2 tablespoons butter
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley

Directions

1.Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).
2.Heat the vegetable oil in a large Dutch oven over medium-high heat until very hot, and brown the meat in 2 batches, stirring to brown the cubes on all sides. Return all the meat to the Dutch oven, sprinkle with flour, and stir lightly to coat the meat with flour. Stir in onion, carrots, dark beer, bay leaves, thyme, 1 teaspoon salt, 1/2 teaspoon pepper, garlic, and Worcestershire sauce. Bring the mixture to a boil, and cover.
3.Place the Dutch oven into the preheated oven, and cook for 45 minutes; uncover, stir the stew, and cook until the beef is very tender and the liquid is reduced by half, about 45 more minutes.
4.Place the bacon in a large, deep skillet, and cook over medium-high heat, turning occasionally, until evenly browned, about 10 minutes. Drain the bacon slices on a paper towel-lined plate. Crumble the bacon and set aside.
5.About 30 minutes before the stew is ready, make the colcannon: Place the potatoes into a large pot and cover with salted water. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until tender, about 20 minutes. Drain and allow to steam dry for a minute or two.
6.Place the cabbage into a microwave-safe bowl, and add 1 or 2 tablespoons of water. Cover and microwave on High for about 2 1/2 minutes; uncover (watch out for steam) and stir the cabbage. Cover and microwave for about 2 1/2 more minutes, until the cabbage is slightly tender but not mushy. Drain excess liquid, and set the cabbage aside, covered.
7.Place the potatoes into a large bowl, and add milk, butter, 1/2 teaspoon of salt, and 1/4 teaspoon of pepper. Beat the potatoes with an electric mixer until smooth and creamy. Stir in the cabbage, crumbled bacon, and parsley until well combined.
8.To serve, place a scoop of colcannon onto a plate, make a hollow, and fill with braised beef stew.

Irish Soda Bread

Ingredients
4 cups all-purpose flour
4 tablespoons white sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup margarine, softened
1 cup buttermilk
1 egg
1/4 cup butter, melted
1/4 cup buttermilk

Directions

1.Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Lightly grease a large baking sheet.
2.In a large bowl, mix together flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, salt and margarine. Stir in 1 cup of buttermilk and egg. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead slightly. Form dough into a round and place on prepared baking sheet. In a small bowl, combine melted butter with 1/4 cup buttermilk; brush loaf with this mixture. Use a sharp knife to cut an 'X' into the top of the loaf.
3.Bake in preheated oven for 45 to 50 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the loaf comes out clean, about 30 to 50 minutes. You may continue to brush the loaf with the butter mixture while it bakes.

Copycat McDonald’s Shamrock Shake

Ingredients:

•2 cups vanilla ice cream or soy ice cream
•1 1/4 cups 2% low-fat milk or soy milk
•1/4 teaspoon mint extract
•8 drops green food coloring

Directions:

1.Combine all ingredients in a blender and blend on high speed until smooth.
2.Stop blender to stir with a spoon if necessary to help blend ice cream.
3.Pour into 12-ounce cups and serve each with a straw.

I have a quick story to share with you about the year that Josiah first learned about St. Patrick's Day. He was just 3 years old and attending a local preschool. On March 17th that year, I picked up my sweet boy from school and we started driving toward home. As we drove, 'Siah started talking about how good St. Patrick was.

He said, "Did you know that St. Patrick was a bishop in his church? He was a missionary, too."

"'Siah, that's awesome that you learned so much about St. Patrick today. Sounds like he did some good things." I replied.

'Siah nods his head emphatically and then adds.... "I think he was a leprechaun." :)

Blessings on your day!

Tiger Mother? Hmmm....

2011-01-27T10:28:00.003-06:00

Mark and I were still awake last night when Nightline did an interview with Amy Chua who has come to fame recently for her book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. A review of the book was printed in the New York Times last week.

I am a woman who takes parenting very seriously. I try to be intentional and seek to approach this important work from a place that allows me to see that these four sweet children are gifts and that I have a limited time to help them grow toward the people they are going to become. Sometimes I do okay at that, sometimes I fail miserably. I have to admit, I listened to the interview carefully. The thought of a book that might tell the story of another momma like me will pique my interest every time.

I listened carefully to the stories shared by Ms. Chua, to the questions asked her by JuJu Chan. In short order, I became uncomfortable. There are a lot of ways to approach parenting... a lot of ways that can work... but when Ms. Chua spoke about expecting better hand-made birthday cards from her children, it made me a little sad. But, I needed to keep listening.

A lot of the conversation around Ms. Chua's book focuses on the difference between Asian and Western parenting. There ARE differences between these approaches but the truth is that there are differences between how I parent and how my friends parent and how my family living in and out of this country parent. We all approach this work in a way that is individual and unique. I have hopes and dreams for my family that really might not matter to you. So, I parent to meet those goals. You have your own thoughts about it all and seek to do the same thing.

In addition to this, I carry with me experiences from my own life that inform the decisions I make for my family. There are things I know, things I have lived, things that I feel are important for my children to either understand better or be protected from. You can judge my work here but because you have not lived my experiences, you may misunderstand my motives. We do that a lot to one another... I have done it, too. But in judging the mothering of another, we miss the opportunity to learn from what she is doing. We miss the chance to see a place where our own life with our families can be strengthened, stretched, supplemented by what someone else might know.

The Tiger Mother concept made me uncomfortable, this is the truth. But, as I felt a wall rise in my mind, I was missing a chance to learn something new. In this case, she was FAR more structured in her mothering than I am in mine. While I do not want to torture my children through music rehearsals, I do think that I could approach that in a way that is more "no nonsense" than I currently do. Necessary tasks happen in her home in a way that they do not in mine. Where I experience frustration, she has created an organizational, disciplined approach that works better than our family's way. I can learn from this and yet important point and let some other aspects go.

As we learn about other approaches, we can pick and choose elements that would benefit our families. Releasing our need to judge may allow us to see things in a different light. I can look at the story told by Ms. Chua and release some of it while incorporating other pieces into our life at home. I can respect her work and also remember that there are things that I believe are important to us. I can take her words as a challenge to adjust but remember that raising my kids in a warm environment matters, as well. My kids need to grow and develop into the people they will become, but I know that life is not a checklist of experiences as much as a journey stored-up. As they learn and struggle and mature, I may need to be strict but I also want to be loving. Pieces of Tiger Mothering might enhance what I offer my kids.

That said, I want to remember that it is HARD to grow up. It is hard to learn, to have limited choices, to be less powerful than the grown-ups that are always around. It is hard to become independent, hard to grow in faith, hard to find your way in a world that can be confusing at best. As my four sweet babies walk this path, a part of me wants to hold their feet to the fire and expect them to do well. But, as my four sweet babies walk this path, I also want to open my arms and pull them in close and love on them as they work it through.

In the end, the way I choose to parent my children has an awful lot to do with what I want them to know of the world. I cannot change the struggle they will face. I cannot save them from that pain. Both of these things have a purpose in their lives and keeping them from it essentially keeps them from themselves, from who they will grow to be. But, I can effect how they see it. I can effect how they feel when they find themselves lost and afraid. I can help my children know that when the path is rocky, when life is not what they thought it would be, they have somewhere to go to process that. I can help them to know that, on their very worse day, they do not have to walk alone. I can shower them with love and teach them daily about the The One Who Loves Them Best.

Last night, I learned that I do not want to be a true Tiger Mother, at least not to the extent that Ms. Chua is. That said, I am glad it worked for her and I am thankful for the nuggets of truth tucked into that book that can help me to do a better job. I am not sure what animal I would claim to describe the work I do... though in the end, I think I would rather not be limited by the characteristics of one creature. I would rather think of it terms of what is needful.... what my children need most right now. Today it might be "Teddy Bear", tomorrow it might be "Tiger"... and next week it might be another animal altogether. As a mom to my four, I want the freedom to give them what I believe they need right now. I want to offer structure, opportunity, education and affection. I want to look into their eyes and feel prepared to engage them where they are. Because not only do I love my kids, but I love being their momma, too. I love their sleep faces in the morning, their silly play in the day and their freshly-washed heads at night. I love catching glimpses of their gifts and watching them wrestle their weaknesses. I love the day-to-day walking through this world, the feel of their hands in mine, the knowledge that we do it together.

And I love that they know all of that... that they can go to sleep tonight knowing I am in it with them, for the good and the bad, for the easy and the hard, for the laughter and tears. They do not walk alone.

Hmmm... I guess that explains it best. Today, I choose to be a human momma to my human babies. I choose to be a creature who values and nurtures relationship... not to the exclusion of structure or discipline... but in a way that allows those things to blossom. I choose to discipline and teach my babies with my arm around their shoulders and a tear in both our eyes. Because it is that very thing that sets us apart from so many other creatures.

I have a lot yet left to learn... but I am grateful to have this place to stand. I am momma, hear me roar? Naaaah... Not me.

Blessings on your day.

Rambling: God's Unfolding Plan

2011-01-24T16:21:00.002-06:00

Sometimes I wish I could see a bigger glimpse of God's great plan.

I wish this when:

-One of my kids begins to struggle with an issue that seems overwhelming... like when we found out one had a hole in his heart or another had sensory integration disorder or another became painfully shy...

-Our finances remain strapped for years and years, caught in an economy that has squashed any sense of monetary security we might have thought we had...

-Job tensions build for my husband and his long and positive work history may end up not meaning nearly as much as someone else's bottom line...

-Things just don't make sense. Sometimes this plays out in ways that are horribly negative and sometimes it shows itself in happy occurrences that make me scratch my head....

Sometimes, I wish I could see a little more of God's big plan... and then, sometimes, just for a minute or an hour or a day or two, I do.

Like when:

-The very thing that has been a struggle for one of my kids becomes an asset in his or her young life...

-Our difficult financial season allows me to look at things that matter far more than nickels and dimes...

-Job insecurity encourages a season of healthy dreaming that might blossom into brand new plans...

-A friendship that may not have made sense is not only a blessing in my life but a chance to be a blessing back...

I have thought about this an awful lot this weekend... how God has plans that reach far beyond what we see right now. I have been reminded that what seems clear today might be pretty foggy down the road. And that very thing might be clear again another day to come. As I think this through there is comfort in knowing that what hurts and what makes me smile might have a point that reaches far beyond where I stand right now.

This weekend, as I watched my kids talk and laugh, as I sat with a friend and her daughter, as I moved in and out of all the familiar places in my small life, I caught grace-filled glimpses of God's Great Hand. This weekend, as I laughed and cried and thought and prayed and hoped and dreamed and wondered and wandered, I was reminded again that there is a purpose to it, even when it is not seen. Even when He is not seen... it is true nonetheless. For me and for you, too.

A rambling post, I know... but maybe you hear my heart.

Blessings on your day.

A Weary Weekend, A Basement Cleaned

2011-01-20T08:00:00.000-06:00

The place was TRASHED. There is no other way to describe it. From one wall to the next, there were toys and pieces of toys literally everywhere. We could not walk through freely and the kids had begun to take over other parts of the house in their search for a place to play. Our basement was out of control.

I am a woman who likes things neat. I think I can handle some clutter and I certainly do not walk around with cleaning products in my pocket but I like my house to be neat. The truth is that each day my four sweet children traipse off to school and I want to feel like there is a place where I can relax and not be overwhelmed by whatever it is they have left behind. And truly, it seems like a reasonable request. Pick up what is yours and I will do the same. If we all do this, the house will be clean, right?

I wish.

Here is the reality...

-My garage is half full of things we have not had time to unpack... in years...

-Some days... okay, most days... my kids' rooms are cleaner than mine. After working to clean common areas, the last thing I want to do is clean another bedroom.

-Keeping the living room, family room and dining room neat often feels like all I can do in a day.

-And in terms of the basement, we gave up. We gave up on that area and it took on a life of it's own. It was using that life to hold us hostage... from having kids over to play or friends over to visit.

So this weekend, we reclaimed our home and dared to dream about what it could become if we managed it instead of the other way around. We all had a three-day weekend and so we chose to hold our kids accountable to their mess and draw a line in the sand. The basement had to get done.

Immediately, we were bombarded with parent-guilt about this crazy use of time. Shouldn't we be doing something fun? Don't we owe our children some fantastic experience with the extra time we all had off? Surely we can't make THEM clean it all?

And then we came to our senses. They made the mess. They did. I never went down those basement stairs and dumped containers of creative toys willy-nilly all over the floor! I never popped some doll's head and arms off or left Legos laying about.

I did, however, work with my husband to choose a house that fit our needs. I did, however, buy said house and move into with my crazy kids. So, when did I decide that it didn't matter what happened to that space? When did we actually give up and allow children to be children and have say over a fifth of our home?

I have no idea when that happened... but it did. Yep, we gave up and gave in and in doing so, taught our children nothing. Nothing about responsibility. Nothing about accountability. Nothing about consequences.

So this weekend, we looked parent-guilt in the face and laughed out-loud. No fun trips. No hours of screen-time. No. Instead, we put on our grown-up pants and sent our kids to the basement to undo what they had done.

I probably should have taken before pics. Except I would never want to show them.

After three days of warning them that The Great Clean-up of 2011 was going to occur (during which no one even thought about getting a head start...), we began on Saturday morning. I think they thought we were kidding. In the past, we have helped them out. In the past, we have done it ourselves. But, it always ended with the basement a mess again. We knew we needed a new plan.

Now, I know you are thinking that either:

1. You would never let your basement become such a mess.

or

2. Your kids wouldn't clean it up.

But please understand, they did not go quietly into this work! No, they fought. They cried. They told us we had no right. They snuck up the stairs to get out of the work. They hid things under furniture. They worked lightly so others would have to work hard and they complained without ceasing for hours on end.

After each of the kids had left the basement way too many times (I need a drink. I need a snack. Elizabeth is not helping. Noah is being bossy. Josiah is playing, not working. Benjamin won't throw anything out.), we told them they would have to stay downstairs til we saw a significant change. This, they did not like.

It was horrible.

More crying. More carrying on. We were weary and frustrated, too.

Then, they had the guts to complain that we were not helping enough. Not a good move. We explained to them that the mess was theirs. That we had helped before. That this happens again and again. And then we went upstairs. The truth is, Mark and I had things to do. I had meals to plan and Mark had plumbing to tend to and the banister was broken and all of it had to be done. So, we left them to their mess and went on to what we had planned.

It was not fun.

By bedtime on Saturday, one third of the basement was like a wonderland of toys. The floor had been found and vacuumed, the dog took up residence in a nice, clear spot. My kids literally rolled around in the space they had cleared and all had smiles on their faces. Utopia... short-lived.

Mark and I called a family meeting. We used the newly cleaned area of the basement to gather our children around and tell them what they didn't want to know.

"You are not done."

We explained that Sunday was the Sabbath and so we would not be working on the basement on Sunday. Now Monday... that was a different tale.

:::Resume wailing and carrying on:::

One even said, "I cannot believe you are doing this to us. I had so looked forward to this weekend!"

(Sometimes, when my kids try to make me feel guilty, I am all the more determined to feel nothing of the sort. )

So Monday morning, they returned. And no one was happy and it was awful and I was tired and I hated the whole of it. Sometimes, being a grown-up is like that. Sometimes, being an adult and being a parent means I have to do what I don't want to do... because it is needful or because it is best. Or both.

We took a break for breakfast and we took a break for lunch. But, somewhere in the midst of it all, I think they began to understand that the basement was going to get clean and that they were going to do it. Somewhere between meals, I think they began to understand that the mess they were cleaning was theirs and that picking it up was not some cruel punishment but instead, a logical consequence. And so they cleaned.

We finally hit a point where we knew adult help would be needed. At that point, Mark and I stepped in to help. After hours and hours of working, there was actually a sense of gratitude when that decision was made and I was aware again that my children learn what I teach them. If everything is easy, if everything is taken care of on their behalf, there is no reason to be thankful because it's just the way it is. But, if they know that work is hard and they know that messes get cleaned and they know that getting it done takes time and effort... they come to appreciate a hand in a whole new way.

By dinner-time last night, our basement was under control. We still have things to work on. But, the space is usable. It is clear. It is inching toward organized. And my kids are THRILLED.

They know now to appreciate the wonder of that space. They remember now the joy in having room to move. And we do, too.

Mark and I have learned that it makes no sense to hand a portion of our home to children without holding them accountable for what will happen in that space. Even as I type that line, I know there will be people who disagree. But, this is our family home and allowing our kids to rule that roost had rendered a portion unusable. For us, that is not okay.

We sat with our kids in that open space and dreamed about what it could become. We dreamed of a day when we could afford a TV for down there, a few simple pieces of furniture. We dreamed about having "teen-space" and "play-space" for all our kids to enjoy. We dreamed together about the things that a bit of neatness buys us... not in pride of ownership but in ways that it might benefit relationship. We talked about having space to entertain friends, room to build Legos with siblings, a place to go and hang out. Because for us, that is what it is all about. I may be a woman who likes things neat, but it is not for neatness sake. I want order because it buys us so many options and affords us so much time... time spent this weekend on cleaning might have been used in other ways...

I don't think this weekend will go down in history as one of my children's best. But, this I know for sure: Last night, I sat upstairs and listened to Noah and Benjamin hanging out in the newly cleaned basement. They had started a game of chess. Noah was coaching his brother on moves that make a difference and extending him lots of grace. They were both laughing and talking about things that brothers talk together about... and it was good. Two boys in their own spot, doing what young boys do.

Two days of cleaning bought us that time... and so many moments like that, to come.

And just like that, it was worth it after all.

Blessings on your day.

Blog Rewind: Dry Erase Markers and Passive Programming

2011-01-17T22:06:00.002-06:00

It is a brand new year and yet some of the same old things must be done today.

It's a cleaning day in our house... not my favorite way to spend a morning. Mark is at work and all the kids are busy at school. I am walking, room to room, with a plethora of cleaning supplies and scrubbing bathrooms, bedrooms, hallways and such. I wish I liked it more. I wish I was better at it all. Truth is that it is discipline for me and most of the time I end up feeling a little bitter that I have so much to do. All my kids have chores and all those chores are done every day. But in the end, someone has to scrub it all and that someone is usually me.

Today, as I moved from room to room, I decided it was time for me to think about ways to see this work as an extension of my parenting. While washing a bathroom floor, I found myself thinking about the years we spent as residence directors at Trinity Christian College. It was my job then to come up with ways to extend the education being offered in the classrooms by creating and offering programming for the resident students.

We lived and breathed programming and came to understand that there are many ways to teach students. One way was active... getting them involved in doing something that taught a life lesson that they would need somewhere down the road. The other way was passive... leaving the information behind in places where students would gather in hopes of them finding it themselves. While the latter is less sure, truth be told, it was more effective. When students found themselves in contact with educational material that was not being pushed upon them, they eagerly soaked it up. Is there a lesson there for my parenting? How can I apply passive programming to what I want to offer my children?

In the midst of my cleaning chores, I found myself lost in thought. Grabbing a pack of dry erase markers, I got to work! What do I need my kids to hear from me today? Here is what I did:

We keep a dry erase board near the bedrooms for posting reminders to the kids. Instead of nagging and crabbing at all my sweeties, I can leave the information for them to find. Here is our board today:

All my kids share a bathroom and are in there many times a day. With common culture brewing a sense of entitlement and discontent among the Millennial Generation, I want to find ways to foster positive thinking in the Friesen Four. Here is what is written on the mirror in their bathroom:

(Where do you see God's blessings today?)

Raising a girl is a big responsibility... especially today! It worries me that a whole generation of girls are being encouraged to set aside standards and often disrespect themselves. I want to raise a strong, smart girl who knows that she is beautiful and intelligent. I want her to have a connection to her Creator that leads her to find her own value in Him. Here is what I wrote on the mirror in Elizabeth's room... the very place she stands every day to brush her hair.

(God made you smart and beautiful!)

Mark and I are not exempt from losing our way. Frustrating days and a loud, busy house can lead us to a place where we forget to find value in what's in front of us today. On the mirror in our bathroom, I wrote this:

(You are gonna miss this...)

The downstairs bathroom in our house is used by visitors to our home as well as by our family during active times. Can I remind us that in this place, in this home, we are all deeply loved? Here is what I wrote on the mirror downstairs:

(You are loved in this place...)

My friends, this job of being a wife and mother is big. It can feel overwhelming. We can feel eternally behind or frustrated or stressed. We can lose our way and find ourselves falling short of the goals we set for our time with our kids. But, we must remember this: Powerful moments in mothering our babies are found in the minutiae of our ordinary days. It is the truth we pass to our children. It is the minute we spend with a child on our lap. It is the reminder, again, that they are loved and valuable and seen. It is the tiny things we do that pour into the hearts of our babies every, single day. It matters. All of it matters to them.

What can you do today? What tiny thing can you offer to those you love best that can help them to learn what you know matters most? It doesn't have to be something you say. What can you give them today?

Blessings on your day.

Christmas Eve

2010-12-24T12:10:00.003-06:00

So, here we are. It is Christmas Eve. The frantic running of "one last errand" is slowing... The counting of presents, the making of lists, the worrying and scurrying and flurrying are falling away. And, here we are.

This is what I know. Christmas is not about any of that. Those busy things are what distract us from all that matters most.

What matters most is this:

With great compassion, God wrapped His love for us in a fragile, tangible, beautiful child. There is nothing more important than God offering us a way... a way to be with Him, a way to be forgiven, a way to see and know and feel love. The birth of Jesus offered all of this to us.

So, together let's take a breath. Together, let's remind ourselves that what our families will take from this sweet holiday has more to do with love than presents, more to do with being than doing, more to do with God's gift than our holiday trappings. We have these two days to shower upon our families the love that was showered on us.

Yep, it's Christmas Eve. What comes next will not be perfect... all will not go as planned... Focus on what matters and store up the rest as memories. Hold the faces of those you love and give to them what was given to you.

How deeply we are LOVED.

Merry Christmas, friends.

Blessings on your day.

A Social Network Christmas

2010-12-22T09:54:00.001-06:00

Blessings on your day...

Simple Woman's Daybook--Christmas Edition #3

2010-12-14T11:02:00.000-06:00

If you blog, you can do this, too. C'mon, you can do it! Join in the fun!

Outside my window... it is COLD. This morning, it is 9 degrees with inches of snow on the ground. It is sunny and beautiful...

I am thinking... about the balance of Christmas. I want to be sure that I am using this time of the year to teach my kids about the Biblical story of Jesus' birth. I don't want to be distracted by the consumerism that attacks us from all sides.

I am thankful for... heat. As I sit here in the family room, my feet are toasty-warm and I don't want to take that for granted. A warm floor is a wonderful thing...

From the kitchen... Yesterday's chicken pot pie is still in the air... but I have hot beef sandwiches bubbling away in the crock pot today. Smells amazing!

I am wearing... corduroys, a long sleeve t-shirt with a pretty, flower scarf and slippers.

I am creating... my next newsletter. I really want this to get out! If you are not on my email list for the newsletter, get a hold of me and let me know. I am happy to add you. It is separate from this blog so even if you get the blog, you need to sign up separately for the newsletter.

I am dreaming... about the new year. I am going to start subbing some and am looking forward to several speaking engagements. I still have time in winter and spring so if you still need someone to speak for your group, conference or retreat, be in touch!

I am going...keep working on our Christmas plans. Now, I am saving some nights... We need the downtime to be home together.

I am reading... Mary Beth Chapman's book. Love it.

I am hoping... for a relaxing break with my kiddos. They are eager to be on break and I am eager to have them here! :)

I am hearing... the dog in the kitchen, the ceiling fan in the kitchen, the glorious sounds of quiet in my home.

Around the house...We still have some decorating to do. I wish we were done... but we are chipping away at it a bit at a time. Are you all set?

One of my favorite things... the crock pot. I love that I can dump things in and let it do its work and then we have a dinner ready to go! Yum!

A few plans for the rest of the week...a bit of shopping, lots of laundry, keeping up with making dinner and hugging my kids.

What about you? : )

Blessings on your day!

Looking for more like this? http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

A Story That is Meant to Touch

2010-12-13T16:10:00.005-06:00

It is a beautiful table. A beautiful spot in my home where pretty things are supposed to sit untouched. Near my entry, situated on a red wall, is a wood and iron table that holds pictures of my children, a candle, and something seasonally pretty. I love that spot.

In October, I put a scarecrow there and the whole scene looks so harvest-y. In November, I take the scarecrow down and put a pumpkin with a turkey carved into it. It reads: Happy Thanksgiving! I tell my kids "don't touch" and have them set their many things elsewhere. It can be a battle... but I love to have a little corner that is beautiful in the midst of the fallout of family.

And then comes December. I put the pumpkin away and carefully unpack a simple but beautiful Nativity set. Onto the red wall table go the pieces and before I can catch myself, the words pour forth.

"Don't touch!"

"This is momma's and it is breakable!"

"Be careful!"

And in a moment of thoughtlessness, I have given my children lies.

Let's stand back for a just a second and see it in a different way. Those little nick-knacks so careful displayed on a table in my entry tell a story that is one of the most important stories I will ever tell my kids. And it is not for those who must stand a long ways off... No, this story is one to touch and hold and feel deeply. It is not breakable at all... It is, in fact, a story that shows the Divine Creativity of a God who is overwhelmed with love. He is willing to sacrifice that which means the most to Him to open His arms to you and me. This is not a story of cautiousness. This is an opportunity for us to run with reckless abandon into the Kingdom of God. Those nick-knacks show the way... The Way He used... The Way for us to find what was lost.

In this season of great love and beauty, let's find a way to make the Christmas story real to our families. I cannot let meaningless figurines stand between my children and the truth. Because nothing, NOTHING, is more important than allowing them to come to the edge of the stable and peer inside. Nothing is more important than helping them to understand that all of it is a lesson to us... the animals, the people, the baby... all of it points us to the truth of who God is and how we can find our way to Him.

In the midst of this busy season, let's help each other out. How do we teach this story well? What do you do with your family that helps to draw their attention back to the Biblical Christmas story? I would love to hear your ideas. Please leave a comment below with some idea to share... the title of a book... a family tradition...

And if you are struggling to find a way to teach this story, I have written a set of devotions for families that might help. Take a look at http://nadiaswearingen-friesen.com/DevotionSets.html to see the set. Every devotional comes with Nativity set that your children can touch and that you can use as a teaching tool to draw your little ones into the story, into the truth. There are only a few still available this season so be in touch soon, if you are interested!

Now, let's share some ideas! I am always looking for new ways to celebrate this season with my family. What works for YOU?

Blessings on your day!

Simple Woman's Daybook--Christmas Edition #2

2010-12-07T09:33:00.001-06:00

If you blog, you can do this, too. C'mon, you can do it! Join in the fun!

Outside my window... there is snow! :) It is cold in Chicago-land and I am grateful for it all. I know there are folks that fuss and such but for me, this is winter. The ebb and flow of the seasons is a wonder to me and, even when the temperatures fall into single digits, I am grateful for it all.

I am thinking... that silence is wonderful. After a full week last week, I am so happy to have a little bit of quiet in my day.

I am thankful for... a great week last week. I had the amazing privilege to speak to hundreds and hundreds of women over 5 days, in four locations. Oh my goodness, did I have fun! : ) I love my work.

From the kitchen... Prepping for Supper Swap again this week. I am making the Pioneer Woman's Chicken Spaghetti and Chicken and Wild Rice Casserole. I will start today or tomorrow by boiling 4 chickens! :)

I am wearing...Grey yoga pants, a white cami and a black sweater. Comfy after last week's dress clothes!

I am creating... my next newsletter. Do you get it? If you don't but would like to, get your email address to me and I will add you to the list. The next newsletter will offer for sale any of my remaining Nativity Devotional Sets for families. If you want to know more about that, drop me a line! :)

I am dreaming... about my winter and spring speaking seasons. I had so much fun last week that I just cannot wait to speak again. If you are looking for a speaker for the winter or spring, I still have some openings... and am booking into next year. I speak at groups, conferences, retreats, etc... nationwide! Love it.

I am going...work on a bit of cleaning this morning and some cooking this afternoon. I still have a lot of Christmas shopping to do... maybe tomorrow? :)

I am reading... Mary Beth Chapman's book. Holy. Cow.

I am hoping... for a calm, productive week. We are going to see our "China family" soon and I am so excited about that. Being gone will mean that I have to stay organized though... I am also hoping for a van miracle. We need work done on our Sienna... emissions stuff... and have NO idea how to get that done.

I am hearing...my dog breathing deeply in her sleep, a commercial on TV...

Around the house... We are decorating for Christmas. The tree is up and and decorated. The snow village is not done. We are calmly just chipping away at what needs to be done. I will not be distracted by stress during this season of worship. Every single day, I want to remind myself that this holiday has everything to do with the birth of Christ and little to do with what is shown on TV.

One of my favorite things... quiet. I don't get a lot of that... but I really love it. I have learned that a little goes an awfully long way. :)

A few plans for the rest of the week...Supper Swap cooking, cleaning the house from last week's busyness, chipping away at my Christmas to-do list, and hanging out with some of my favorite people in the world... China fam, we love you.

What about you? : )

Blessings on your day!

Looking for more like this? http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Simple Woman's Daybook--Christmas Edition #1

2010-11-30T10:59:00.002-06:00

If you blog, you can do this, too. C'mon, you can do it! Join in the fun!

Outside my window... it is cold and dark... looks like it might think about snowing... but not a flake has fallen yet.

I am thinking... about my speaking engagements this week. I speak everyday this week to a wide variety of groups. I love the topic... Connecting to Christmas. One of my absolute favorite talks.

I am thankful for... an easier morning today. Mark and the kids worked hard to get things done so I would have time to get ready for my speaking engagement. This helped me so much! A stressful morning leads to a stressed out speaker... not at all what I want to bring to these wonderful groups this week.

From the kitchen... I am in the mood for chili... how about you? :)

I am wearing... black corduroys, a grey, long sleeved t-shirt. Just changed out of speaking clothes. Comfy, now.

I am creating... a quiet, peaceful season for my family. Christmas is so important... not for the presents but for the wonder of the Nativity. I want my kids to "get" that...

I am dreaming... about this week! And it is here! :) Love getting ready to speak EVERY day... and looking forward to Elizabeth's first ballet show on Saturday night. I cannot wait! :)

I am going... to run errands before I pick up the kids from school so we can enjoy a relaxing night home together. Finding downtime in the midst of this busy season is important.

I am reading... Mary Beth Chapman's book... and love it. Thank you, Junie.

I am hoping... that my Christmas talk can help people who hear it to connect to what the season is really about. I am praying that God's voice will be far louder than mine... and that He will find a way to capture the hearts of those who hear.

I am hearing... The id tag on our dog clinking as she walks, the pinging of the rain against the sliding glass door, my fingers on the keys... peaceful sounds.

Around the house... Boxes and boxes of Christmas stuff is out and about. We are decorating this week, getting our tree in a couple days and starting to feel more ready for the holidays.

One of my favorite things... how happy our dog is to see me when I got home. She has twice come to the computer to pull my hands from the keyboard. All she wants right now is me and my attention. I had no idea that dogs could be so relational.

A few plans for the rest of the week... speaking, speaking and more speaking. LOVE it. I seriously feel blessed to do this work.

What about you? : )

Blessings on your day!

Looking for more like this? http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Blog Rewind: Connecting to Christmas

2010-11-29T08:28:00.000-06:00

There is a commercial playing right now that makes me mad. As it plays, a young boy is telling his momma all the things he wants for Christmas. From the looks of things, he starts telling her this during the day, continues through dinner, bath-time and bedtime. His list is endless. In the voice-over, the mom talks lovingly about wanting to give her children everything they want. This certain super store can make this possible! By the end of the commercial, I am saddened and angry again.

How did it come to be that we are encouraged to allow unbridled commercialism in our children? When did it become okay to ask for toys all day long? Why would parents even WANT to try to meet an endless list of material things requested by their child?

Is this what Christmas is really all about? Is this what we want? Is it best for us, our children, our budgets, our futures?

My friends, we need to take a breath and really reconnect to the truth about Christmas. This holiday is not at all about materialism run rampant. This holiday began in love and selflessness and hope. Where can we find these things in the Christmas the networks are broadcasting today?

This year, let's reign it in. Let's gather our sweet little ones around and tell them a love story like no other. Let's remember the hope we have... the hope that was born in a simple way, in a simple place, to simple, faithful folks.

I will be sharing some ideas to help us do just this and would LOVE to hear some of yours. What will you do this year to connect to Christmas?

This year, I want my children to understand that presents are just one part. This year, I want my children to remember that God so loved them... so DEEPLY loved them... that He gave them a gift they will never outgrow. This year, I want to make memories and spend time with the people I love most in this world. And in the end, they may have a few new toys but the connections they have formed to family and faith will mean more to them than anything else.

Let's talk together. What works for you? I look forward to sharing ideas!

Blessings on your day!

Blog Rewind: Thoughts on Thanksgiving

2010-11-26T10:38:00.001-06:00

I read this today and wanted to share it with you. In this economy, at this time of tight budgets and potential frustration, reading this helps me find a bit of perspective.

"The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving."

~H.U. Westermayer

Blessings on your day!

Thanksgiving Thoughts

2010-11-25T08:04:00.000-06:00

Last year, I was asked to write something to share during our Thanksgiving service. This is what I read...

It’s easy to get caught up in the big things. Big plans. Big changes. Big vacations. Big, big, big.

Sometimes, when I am lost in the planning or dreaming of things that are far outside my reach, I miss it. The striving and pushing forward for whatever might come next hides what is happening right now. But not today. I don’t want to miss it today. I need to stand still and look around at the blessings all around me. Blessings that are, not blessings that could be. The wonder of the ordinary right before my eyes.

Here is some of what I see…

I drove my kids to school yesterday in seven year old van that runs. The same van that 10 days ago sounded like a semi coming down our street. This is certainly something to be thankful for! When we got out at school, my children wore warm winter coats and ran through the rain to get inside. A month ago, we were working and saving and preparing for being sure that winter clothes were close at hand. Noah and I walked into school last and he looked at me and said, “I love my school, Mom.” And I smiled and said I did, too. This school that we so love looked fully impossible just 3 months back. I stayed at school yesterday and bopped in and out of their classrooms where students buzzed with excitement about a long holiday weekend and I saw my children singing and praying and laughing and running and soaking it all right up. And for all of this and so much more, I am grateful…

Last night, we had hot dogs wrapped in crescent rolls for dinner. All of us home. All of us together. No games, no distraction, no where to be. It was not a gourmet meal but relaxing and enjoying its simplicity was just what we needed. Just enough. While we ate, Elizabeth wore a necklace made of noodles and Josiah still had pilgrim clothes on from his celebration at school. After dinner, Benjamin curled in a corner reading a book about a boy adopted in Korea and Noah shot baskets in the rain. And for all of this, and so much more, I am grateful.

Before they went to bed, we gathered in the kitchen and the kids cut bread into cubes for stuffing. Our daily bread in a very real way. While Benjamin arranged the cubes perfectly so that they would all dry evenly, Noah learned to pack brown sugar and Josiah and Elizabeth added spices to homemade pumpkin pie. It will not be a catered meal or a fancy meal but it will be something we all did together… something that they learned to do with Mark and I standing right close by. As I watched my family working together, the house smelled like baking and the kids chattered on and even in its simplicity, it normalcy, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of contentment… a sense that all of this is blessing to us… all of this is enough for us… and honestly, right now, we do not need much more… for all of this and so much more, I am grateful.

Working in the kitchen, Fingers in mouths tasting Thanksgiving treats. Laughter bubbling forth over a shared inside joke. Family together with no where to be. Completely, wholly, wonderfully ordinary. Sometimes, its good for me to stop chasing, stand still and look around. What about the next big thing? Today I know full well that THIS is the biggest thing. Driving my kids to school to a school they love. Listening to their words laughing and talking and sharing their day. Making dinner in the kitchen with my husband and our kids. For this and so much more, especially today, I am grateful.

Blessings on your Thanksgiving Day.

Good Gravy!!

2010-11-24T08:11:00.001-06:00

Gravy. Some folks pop open a can or a jar and call it good. Some folks think it is an impossible thing to create... The truth is, it's easy as pie! Well, easier than pie... I think pie can be kind of tricky! :)

Wanna learn how? You are going to LOVE this...

You will need:

-a roasted turkey with plenty of juices in the pan
-some canned broth (chicken or turkey), just in case
(Pan juices and canned broth together, look for around 4 cups)
-a stick of butter
-a half cup of flour
-seasoning to taste (salt and sage, especially)

Here is what I do...

I use a gravy separator. This is a special measuring cup that allows the fat in pan juices to separate from the usable broth. This is really handy when making turkey! On Thanksgiving, you will need a lot of gravy. So, after the turkey is done, I move it to a platter and collect the juices in my separator. When we talked about making turkey, I told you that I add several cans of broth to my turkey pan. I want a lot of pan juices so I can be sure to make enough gravy. I keep a couple of cans of broth on hand too, in case I do not feel like I have enough juices.

While the juices separate, I start the roux. The roux is the best way to ensure a smooth gravy, lump-free! How do you do it? Easy, peasy! In a saucepan, melt a stick of butter. Once it is melted, sprinkle a half cup of flour into the saucepan. Keep the heat on... about medium. Stir this butter and flour mix and watch it carefully. You are making a paste... though it will be a bit softer than a paste. As it cooks, it will foam up and you will stir it and it will settle down again. What you are trying to do is cook the flour. Cooked flour will add a nice, almost nutty, flavor to your gravy. As this cooks, you will notice it starting to change to a darker color. I usually let this cook, while I stir, until it is a light caramel color.

By now, my pan juices have separated and I can see the juices on the bottom of my separator and the fat on the top. I do not need the fat in my gravy. Slowly and carefully, I start to add the juices to the roux. It will bubble up quickly and it will be HOT... be careful. (I wear oven mitts.) Watch the separator while you pour so that the fat stays in the cup and only the juices are used.
Stir constantly.

Now, once you have used all your pan juices, look at the gravy. Is it the consistency you enjoy? The thickness or thinness of gravy is a personal decision. You might not even need all your pan juices. Watch as you stir. If it is still too thick after your juices are added, begin using canned broth. Stirring constantly over low heat, keep adding broth until your gravy is as thick as you would like it to be.

I keep my gravy over low heat until we are ready to eat. It is the last thing I put on the table. Be sure to taste the gravy before you serve it. You can add some salt, pepper or sage to taste.

You can use this same recipe to make any kind of gravy, at all. I use this recipe for our weekly Sunday dinner... though for a regular meal like that, I use a half stick of butter and a quarter cup of flour. I do not need nearly as much gravy on a Sunday as I do on Thanksgiving day. :)

This gravy recipe is easy and always turns out well. I have tried the water and flour gravy and the cornstarch gravy but the flavor of roux gravy is so much richer! Give it a shot and let me know what you think!

Blessings on your day!

Stellar Stuffing--You Can Do It!

2010-11-23T09:37:00.000-06:00

For those of you who have gotten some strange blog posts delivered to your inbox lately, I apologize. I have had a couple of blog issues lately. This post is the one that was supposed to go out today! Enjoy!

Thanksgiving is getting so close, you can almost smell it! :) I am so excited! As someone who likes to cook, I am eager to get going and start putting together this absolutely amazing meal.

Last week, we talked about how to make that turkey. Easy peasy, right? The stuffing is simple, too! Today, let's talk about how to make great stuffing from scratch. If you have never done this before, no worries. Making this important part of the Thanksgiving meal is a no-stress deal.

I told you last week, that I am really about straightforward food. If you want cranberries in your stuffing... or even sausage... you go ahead. For me, I love stuffing... good, old-fashioned stuffing. Nothing fancy, nothing tricky, nothing unusual. But feel free to do what works for you.

So, what do you need?

-A pot with water and the neck, heart, etc... you found in your turkey
-Lots of bread
-A bag of stuffing (I like Pepperidge Farm)
-Sage
-Salt and Pepper
-Celery
-Onion
-A can or two of broth

I start the day before Thanksgiving. The process takes a bit of time but is totally worth it. I usually have a selection of bread... some wheat, some white, some "stuffing" bread. I clear the island in my kitchen, cut the bread into cubes and lay it on the island to dry. I like some of the cubes to be toasted, as well. Some of the bread is then put into a pan and popped into the oven until it browns slightly. Once that is done, I put it back on the island to keep drying.

Stuffing needs to be flavored and the taste that makes you think about poultry is sage. So, with the stuffing still on the island, I sprinkle dried sage all over it. I add salt and pepper... and if I have poultry seasoning (which also has sage in it) I will sprinkle that over the cubes, too.

Still on Wednesday, I will cut a bunch of celery and a good-sized onion. I bag these and put them into the fridge to be ready on Thanksgiving morning.

When I wake up on Thursday, it is time to put the whole deal together. In the turkey blog post, we talked about putting all those parts you found inside your turkey into a pot of water. Start by putting this on the stove and simmering it gently. I add salt, pepper and a bunch of sage. (I use powdered, not fresh... but you could use either.) Let this is cook away. You are creating a broth to be used to make your stuffing.

While that simmers, I put all my bread cubes into a huge bowl. I always have too much bread... though I would rather have too much than too little. I add one package of Pepperidge Farm prepared stuffing to this mix. I have not always done it this way, but their stuffing is very good and adds a firmness to my homemade mix. To this bowl, I add most of the onion and at least two big handfuls of celery. (I would love to give you amounts... but I don't cook that way. Look at it while you put it together... if you don't see enough of anything, add more. Stuffing is very forgiving!)

Once the turkey parts have cooked through in the water on the stove, it is time to put the stuffing together. It can be helpful to have a can or two of broth on hand. (If you find canned turkey broth, get bunches!) Now, start adding the broth you have in the pot on the stove to the bowl of bread. Stir it up and then add more. Keep doing this until your stuffing starts to come together. I don't want stuffing that is dripping wet... just moist throughout. If you run out of broth from the pot on the stove, keep going with canned broth. The bread will start to fall apart a bit and it will begin to look like stuffing. Take a minute to smell your mix. Does it smell like stuffing? Toy with your seasonings a bit... but most likely, if it still smells like bread, you need more sage. I am careful with salt... this is easily added to taste when the stuffing is served.

So, what do you do with it? That is totally up to you! I like to have stuffing in my turkey and stuffing that is cooked separately. If you choose to stuff the turkey, remember to extend your roasting time and be SURE the stuffing is hot enough before removing the bird from the oven. Because you used real broth from real turkey parts, it must be cooked through. Also, remember to stuff both cavities in your turkey. The neck cavity is my favorite stuffing of all! (I stuff the bird while it is in the roasting pan and tuck the skin under the bird to keep it in.)

The stuffing in a pan is actually called "dressing"... but I call it all stuffing, anyway! :) For that pan, I put stuffing in, smooth it across the top and bake it in the oven until it is hot through and through. You will know it is done when it is 165 degrees in the center. (Remember how I told you that thermometer would come in handy?) When the stuffing is starting to get close to that temperature, I will often put a bit of butter on the top. This helps to create that crispy top on your dressing. I don't do that to the stuffing in a turkey because there is enough "fat" from the turkey to do the same thing.

So, that's all there is to it! If you can cube bread, you can make your own homemade stuffing. Feeling creative? There are millions of recipes that add other ingredients to this tried and true mix. You can try cranberries, clams, sausage, eggs... the list is endless!

Last year, my family made stuffing together. My kids and I stood around the island in the kitchen and diced bread and talked and laughed... Sitting down around our Thanksgiving table meant something new to us, last year. Creating the meal together created far more than food. We made memories, my family and I.

And that is something that lasts far longer than the dinner we shared...

Blessings on your day.

Thanksgiving Thoughts

2010-11-19T09:02:00.003-06:00

Thanksgiving is possible only for those who take time to remember; no one can give thanks who has a short memory. ~Author Unknown

Blog Rewind: What Good Mommas Do

2010-11-18T10:33:00.001-06:00

~I wrote this post a few years ago... the memories are still warm for me today.~

How I love Thursdays! I don't know what your week looks like, but for us, the beginning of each week is always extraordinarily busy! Between shuttling our littlest ones to and from preschool and helping to run our amazing MOMs Group, Monday through Wednesday rush by way too quickly. Oh, but Thursdays... Thursdays are the day we do not have to be anywhere or do anything or rush in any way at all. As the momma of four busy children, the pace of this day is like a heavenly retreat.

I read somewhere that good mommas get up, get dressed and put on their shoes, first thing every day. These mommas are always ready to run out the door and on to the next thing. Being dressed is supposed to get you ready for work and cleaning and accomplishing great things every day. Right now, it is after 10 AM and I am sitting here in my pajamas. I do not want to be a momma who is always ready to run out to the next big thing. I do not want to be a momma who is constantly seeking more work or greater accomplishment. No, I want to be a momma who takes a day, every week, to sit in her jammies with babies on her lap and read a book. I want to look into the sleepy faces of my relaxed little ones and laugh with great abandon. I want to be the momma who can crawl into bed with my children, and share a story or build a fort or play flash light games and not have to worry about my shoes catching on the sheets.

If good mommas have to be ready and dressed every single day, I will embrace being a bad momma and leave my shoes at the door. Today, will look at my children, straight in the face. I will tickle them and play with them and get very little done. For right now, I will let that be okay and remind myself that today is Thursday and it is a gift.

Talking Turkey: Easy Peasy

2010-11-17T08:27:00.000-06:00

It's almost Thanksgiving. Are you getting ready? I am getting pretty excited because the whole Thanksgiving weekend is just so very fun for our family. But, before we get to the fun, it will be time to cook. If you read this blog every now and then, you know I love to cook!

I also know there are LOTS of people who are worried about all this baking and cooking and sauteing and such. There are commercials showing harried women pulling gargantuan turkeys in and out of the oven with sweat on their weary brows. There are millions of magazine articles laying out complex turkey recipes with fruit and flavors that will send many women to the grocery store, hunting through stacks of specialty items. It all seems so hard. So overwhelming. With so much speaking to the craziness of it all, it must be really complex. Right?

Nah. Not at all. The truth of the matter is a turkey is really easy to make. Seriously.

So, here is a bit of self disclosure. When it comes to food, I am a bit of a purist. I love when a turkey tastes like a turkey. Do not look for pomegranate seeds in my stuffing. The straightforward flavor of the bird itself is the flavor of Thanksgiving to me. So, I will tell you what I do... but know that about me up front. That said, my turkey is never dry, always tastes good and receives rave reviews from my fam.

Wanna learn how? No stress, I promise.

First of all, gotta have a bird. I plan a pound per person plus a little bit more because I LOVE leftovers. So, count your folks and buy a bird. What bird? That is your call... but I sure love a Butterball.

Next, your bird needs to be defrosted by the time you are ready to cook. It's a tricky thing because it takes FOREVER to defrost. The Butterball website says to plan on putting your bird in the oven for one day for every four pounds. It always makes me nervous to keep poultry in my fridge that long so I prefer cold water thawing... 30 minutes per pound in the wrapper in cold water in your sink. If you don't want to thaw a turkey, you can always buy it fresh.

Now, to make the turkey, you want to be sure you sink and counters are CLEAN. I like to have a bleach spray on hand for cleaning up after preparing your bird. On your counter, put a pot, your roasting pan sprayed with Pam and with that string lifter thingy set inside, some salt (I like Kosher salt.) and some paper towels. Remember, you do not want to touch lots of stuff with turkey juice on your hands. Keep your food and your kitchen safe.

Start but putting the turkey in the sink and cutting open the wrapper. There will be juices. Don't freak out. :) While the bird is sitting in there, find the giblet bag(s). In the main opening of the turkey, there will likely be one. In the neck opening there might be another. Dump these into water in the pot on your sink. We will get back to that in a later blog.

To roast a turkey, you will need to rinse it out. You are going to get wet. It's okay. Stick your hand inside that big opening and feel around in there. There should not be lots of hanging things. If there are, pull them out. Run cold water through there and dump it out. Put your bird into the roasting pan, breast side up. Once it is in there, wash your hands with hot water and soap. Poultry is one of those things you gotta be careful with!

When you hands are clean, open the oil and then pour some salt into your hand. I put the salt in my right hand. I keep my left hand away from the bird for now. Stick your salty hand into that big opening in your bird and rub the salt all over inside. With your clean hand, grab the oil ( I use canola for this.) and rub the skin of the bird. Get it all over the turkey. Not gobs, just enough that it looks good and shiny. (Some folks use butter for this... that can totally work... but I use oil... I am always afraid that butter will burn. Now, wash your hands again.

Nothing too tricky yet, right? :)

Now, if you go to the Butterball site, they will tell you that you should preheat your oven to 325 degrees. I don't do that. I set my oven higher, to about 400 degrees. What I want is to get a good seal on the skin. Starting hot works for me.

So preheat your oven to whatever you choose. Take out the extra shelf and put your turkey in the oven. What about stuffing, you ask? We will talk about that in an upcoming blog. Also, crazy easy. But for today, let's set it aside.

I put the turkey in the oven and let it start roasting away. When I start to smell turkey smells in my house, I go and check on the bird. If there is a little color on the skin, I lower the temperature to 325 degrees. (Probably about 30-45 minutes at 400 degrees, then lower.

Is it covered?

Is it in a baking bag?

Do I put on a lid?

Heaven's no! I don't like a soggy bird. I don't want to steam it, I want to roast it. But do what works for you. :) Some folks swear by those methods... and some of it works great. You need the turkey to taste the way Thanksgiving tastes to you.

Now, the bird will cook for a while. I do baste it from time to time but I think that has more to do with my feeling like I have to DO something than any need the bird has. I have a great baster from Pampered Chef that I just love to use.

The other thing I love to do is add cans of turkey or chicken broth to the roasting pan while it roasts. You don't have to do this but the canned broth tastes so much better if it has been cooking with the drippings from the bird. What difference does it make? None. Unless you want gravy. I know I do! And I like to have plenty of gravy. After all, there will certainly be leftovers!

You will follow the roasting guide that comes with your turkey or find another one here. But, don't ignore the turkey to pay attention to the clock. If my turkey skin starts to get really brown, I make a tent out of foil and put it over my bird. No matter how the bird looks, it is not done until it registers 180 degrees deep in the thigh. If you haven't already, go ahead and buy a meat thermometer. They are handy to have anyway.

Here is the thing. It's cooked or its not. You have to be sure that it is. The juices should run clear. If they are red at all, your turkey is not cooked. Not sure what color they are? Let them run into a spoon. Red drippings mean the meat is not safe to eat. Keep roasting it.

(BTW, I have mistakenly taken the turkey out too soon. I don't recommend it. I finished the cooking, after slicing, in the microwave but it was not nearly as good as keeping it in the oven the right amount of time.)

When you finally get the right temperature, pull that turkey out and let it sit a while. It will not cool off. You have time, lots of time! Don't even think about it again until you are almost ready to eat. Get everything else ready. Then slice the turkey and take it right to the table. I am not the queen of slicing... but I work it out anyway. Sometimes, you will have someone sharing Thanksgiving dinner with you who loves to slice. If so, let them do it! :)

So, lets review:

How to Roast a Turkey in 50 Words or Less!

1. Buy a turkey.

2. Defrost said turkey.

3. Rinse your bird.

4. Put in pan

5. Salt your bird.

6. Oil the skin.

7. Calculate roasting time.

8. Heat oven.

9. Put bird in.

10. Let it cook.

11. Baste if you wanna.

12. Check the temperature.

13. Take it out if done.

12. Let it sit.

13. Cut it up.

15. Feast!

Not too tricky, huh?

Once you get the hang of it, you can try other stuff... but first just master the basic deal. Serving the turkey just like this will have your guests going on and on about how amazing you are. I promise. It doesn't take much to make people happy. :) And after hours of smelling that bird roasting away, they are ready to enjoy the meal.

The holidays can be stressful. There are a million things to take care of and so much cooking to do. But, dear friends, do not buy into the common theory that the turkey is what is going to be hard. It really isn't. It is just as easy as roasting a chicken... and if you haven't done that before, you can use these directions to get it done.

Now, let's share some tips! What do you like to add to your bird that makes it taste like Thanksgiving to you? Or, share what dish has to be on that table, beside the bird! I would love to hear your thoughts! I am always looking for new ideas.

Just remember this... the Thanksgiving turkey? Easy peasy. Give it try! I will post about stuffing and gravy soon so be sure to stop by again!

Blessings on your day!

Simple Woman's Daybook--November 16

2010-11-16T10:01:00.000-06:00

If you blog, you can do this, too. C'mon, you can do it! Join in the fun!

Outside my window...it is sunny and chilly. The late autumn sun is a different color from the mid-summer sun... whiter, cooler...

I am thinking... about our health. We have been hit hard with a terrible bug and while Josiah and I are a bit under the weather, Elizabeth now has pneumonia. She is really feeling badly and I feel awful for her. I so hope the rest of the kids do not get this cold. We are all back on vitamins now (we had not begun our "flu season" vitamins before we all got sick...) and I feel deeply affirmed that these vitamins make a huge difference in how healthy we stay.

I am thankful for... my fever breaking in the night. I am thankful for vitamins, for a quiet minute to get ready for a day of caring for sick days, for bits of sleep last night, for hot coffee...

From the kitchen... We grilled Benjamin's birthday dinner last night and it was WONDERFUL... Today, we are having chicken soup for lunch and pasta for dinner.

I am wearing... black cords, grey, long-sleeved t-shirt, crocs. After being sick, I am really glad to be up and dressed! :)

I am creating... a set of Thanksgiving devotions for families, another article for MOPs, and I am going over my talks for this week. I speak three times between now and Saturday. Here's hoping my voice comes back soon! (Prayers appreciated!)

I am dreaming... about the holidays. I work very hard to create a faith and family centered time for us. It is simple, loving and good... but it takes planning. Time for me to think it through and start getting ready. Sounds like work... but it really isn't. It is what I love to do...

I am going...to help Josiah and Elizabeth get caught up on the school work they have missed since getting sick. We are also going on a "virtual field trip" to Plimoth Plantation today at noon! Can't wait! (Google Plimoth Plantation to learn more...)

I am reading... Radical... love it. Makes me think.

I am hoping... that Elizabeth gets better soon. She has been sick almost a week. Pneumonia is no good... poor girl...

I am hearing... the TV in the background, the clicking of my laptop keys. :)

Around the house... I need to get organized for the kids lessons from school, and pick up a bit. Our highest priority today will be balance... some work, some play, LOTS of rest.

One of my favorite things... watching Josiah handle a hard time... he is just so happy. Nothing shakes his faith, nothing brings him down... He is my son but he inspires me to be a better person... to be more optimistic. Yesterday, with a fever of 103, he was still smiling as he sang "O come let us adore Him..." Yes, my dear son, let's...

A few plans for the rest of the week...lots of speaking, some writing. I speak on three different topics this week so being prepared makes a world of difference! :)

What about you? : )

Blessings on your day!

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Blog Rewind: Thanksgiving Thoughts

2010-11-12T10:36:00.002-06:00

"Perhaps it takes a purer faith to praise God for unrealized blessings than for those we once enjoyed or those we enjoy now." ~A.W. Tozer

Blessings on your day!

Parents and Teachers and Together: 936 No More

2010-11-11T08:57:00.002-06:00

What do you value? Have you ever wondered if you life tells this tale for you? If you sit down with your family budget, will it show what's important to you?

Mark and I think about this often and the thinking and evaluating helps us to make decisions about what we should or should not do when a choice must be made. If we look at where our money goes, it tells a bit about what we value, what matters to us. For us, faith and education top that list.

I have been thinking about education a lot lately. As a teacher, I knew my work was important. As a parent, I know that in a whole new way. I want my children to have an education that affords them the choices they will want as adults. I want my children to feel confident as they grow and seek to understand the world around them. We take it seriously... and that is not always an easy thing.

With the recent opening of the documentary Waiting for Superman, I have found myself in conversation with many people over the past two months about the state of the education system. It worries me. It breaks my heart.

I know that there are many amazing teachers doing great work in schools all over the country. I am so grateful for their effort... especially when it means that they may have to do that work in a system that makes it feel like they are swimming upstream. The amazing teachers do not worry me. They make me thankful.

What weighs on me is the number of schools that are failing. What weighs on me is the number of children that effects. What weighs on me is the fact that all of those teachers and all of those administrators will get paid anyway. With your money. With my money. And it feels as though there is nothing we can do about it at all.

I believe it is time for change. When is the last time you wandered into the local grocery store, handed over your hard-earned cash, and then did not check to see that you were getting what you expected in your cart? You would NEVER do that. If you purchased a whole, fryer chicken, it would certainly not be okay with you to get a pack of chicken wings!

And yet, when it comes to the same hard-earned cash being paid for taxes and sent to your local school, we feel somehow disconnected from that money. It's just taxes, right? Just taxes. We feel like we have no say.

Wrong. This has to be wrong.

Have you ever googled your state's Report Card? Schools are required to post this information and it is (or should be) available to you. Take a peek. See what you think... I did just that today. It is a confusing site and has many overlapping statistics. But, if I understand it correctly, my home state of Illinois currently shows that 76% of students meet or exceed state standards. Sounds pretty good, doesn't it? (I do worry that the actual standards are not listed on the website though... What is that standard? Hard to know how I feel about it if the standard is 60%.) Or, it looks differently if you think that this very stat means that 24% or 1 in 4 children approximately, does NOT meet that standard. Maybe that is okay given the wide span of learning issues represented in our schools. There are so many different kinds of kids... so many kids who struggle in so many different ways and I am grateful that our public school system enfolds children, even when they need creative ways to learn... So, let's look at it another way. The state reports on "adequate yearly progress". I can't say I love the term because I know I want better for my child than "adequate". How does Illinois rate in this way? Do we pass? The report shows that there are 3910 schools in this state, 2253 of which made adequate yearly progress. I believe this means that about 1657 schools did NOT make the progress expected by the state. The report also points out that 791 schools in Illinois are improving... but what about the other 936?

My friends, in this state that I adore, as you sit here right now reading this blog, there are 936 schools failing. Right now, there are real children sitting in real classrooms with real teachers and it is just not working. The learning we MUST offer our children is not happening. The standards set forward by those in positions to set those standards are not being met. It scares me to think about how many students that actually effects.

We can sit together today and talk about why. We can wonder and chat and carry on about it all but I have to wonder if any of that makes a difference in the lives of those kids. You see, this isn't theory. This is real life. And whether it is because of money, or unions, or teachers or location or situation wont really matter when those children graduate and cannot read or write. This is not a time for pointing out how great some educators are or how little we appreciate the success stories in Illinois. Both of those things are true. There are great teachers in Illinois and many success stories and those teachers and successful schools have earned our appreciation. But, these points do not negate the fact that in some schools, in way too many schools, standards are not being met. Remember, this is real. This is current. These children exist and are not theoretical. They are sitting in a real classroom right now. Real children who mean as much to their mommas as your little ones mean to you. Real children who will grow up and decide the direction of this country... who will have children of their own and who will have to find a school for them, too.

This matters to me. It matters to me that my children get an education they can use. It matters to me that we, as a country, come to value that in a way that expects change from all schools... especially those 936. And this might be the time for us, as parents, to say "This is enough!" and demand better from those who need their expectations to be higher.

In the United States, our kids are expected to have 180 school days. In Canada, that number is 194. Our kids go to school for roughly 6 hours a day. Many countries have far longer days. In China, kids spend up to 8.6 hours a day in a classroom and attend school between 190-228 days per year. How can we teach them everything they must learn, everything other children in the world are learning, if we do not have enough time? Do we value it really? Really? If our school day is getting shorter and we are falling in achievement level and our drop out rates are rising and if 936 schools can be failing and yet everyone still gets paid? Is this about year-round schooling? It is not what I am suggesting. But, I know that in my town, kids are home well before 3pm. What would happen if we added only one hour? That is 180 extra hours of instruction... what could we do with that?

Do you feel as stuck as I do sometimes? Does it feel like there is a disconnect between what we want for our kids and what some kids are provided? Do you want more for your taxes? I do. I really do. And I know people will get mad and carry on about unions and hours and work load and salary and... We need to stop. We need to stop being distracted and start expecting more. More from ourselves and more from the schools and teachers that are not doing what we need them to do. Believe me, there is no teacher shortage. If we were able to find the teachers who really do not want to do this job and if we were able to open their positions, I know there are thousands of recent college grads that would do anything for one of their spots. College grads who have spent years dreaming of a classroom of their own. College grads who are brimming with new ideas, young legs and energetic optimism who would love to spend their days with kids who NEED to learn.

That said, we all need to do our part. No one is exempt from raising a generation of children who are really well-educated. As parents, what shall we do? What part do we have to play?

A couple of easy ideas:

1. Read to your child. Find ways to make reading fun. It is a little thing that makes a world of difference. Reading is crucial to a great education. If your child can learn to enjoy it, you are giving them a step up in the process. As a former first grade teacher, I can tell you that this point cannot be made strongly enough. Don't give up, dear friend. Find the key that opens this lock.

2. Help your kids understand how important school is in their lives. Get excited with them about the opportunity they have to learn from their teacher. Fostering a positive attitude in our kids will go a long way toward helping them get invested in their own learning. Speak highly about school, about teachers, about the choices your kids are earning as they seek success in their academic life.

3. Know what is happening at school and get involved. Try to keep up with what is being taught in the classroom and discuss it at home. Looking up the same subject online with your child to help them discover even more about the topic can help them to see how interesting learning can be. Nurturing a love for discovery and curiosity makes a world of difference.

4. Foster learning at home. Turn the TV off after school and offer comfortable places for your child do his or her homework. Snacks and breaks can help an overwhelmed student feel more at ease. In our home, we even encourage the older kids to read and study with the younger kids so that everyone gets involved. And when the TV does get turned on, turn on the captions, too. Seeing the words that are spoken written on the screen helps the details of reading fall into place.

5. Visit school. No matter where you choose to send your child, you should be welcome to visit and help out during the school day. Get to know the office staff by name. Knowing that we are all part of the same community can help people feel connected and improve a difficult situation. And when you visit, every now and then, bring something for the teacher. Even on our tight budget I can share some baked good with the people who spend more time with my children than I do. Watching a teacher feel appreciated is an awfully nice thing.

6. When something is unclear, ask questions. We do not want schools to feel like we are always looking for an issue but we do want to foster an environment of accountability. If you don't understand how or why something is happening with your child, talk to the teacher in a respectful and open way. You are on the same team. Approach the conversation in that way. When the parents and teachers work together, when you do what the teacher requests at home, when you communicate about issues happening in your house, your child will benefit. Guaranteed.

7. If something is not right, follow through. If you see something that is bothersome, do something about it! Whether that is something that relates specifically to your child or your tax dollars (or both!), talk to the school administration and make your worries known. Maybe you do not understand the issue or maybe a change is needed. Until the school is aware of the concerns of parents, change will not occur. It is time for us to work together, expecting more of one another and helping each other meet goals that will benefit our children.

8. See Waiting for Superman and think about the big picture. I know a lot of you already do. Maybe your child goes to an excellent school. That is great! But until all children have access to good education, we all have work to do. You may deeply disagree with this movie and that is okay. The more we hear about all sides of the education issue in the United States, the easier it will be to find ways to fix what is broken. Is the whole system broken? No. But, if there are children in this country who do not have access to education that will open doors in their futures, we must fix the things that are broken.

9. If you know a great teacher or if your child spends the day with one, pat them on the back. Sing their praises loudly! Send an email to the principal and tell them how pleased you are with that teacher! (Principals get LOTS of negative emails... send an email of praise!) Teachers need to know we see all that they do for children. They need to know we appreciate them. Send a thank you note, a baked good, a gift. Tell them face-to-face. The work teachers do on behalf of our kids is hard and when it is done well, it must be noticed. (As a total aside, each year for Christmas, I give a homemade gift to my kids teachers--usually something I canned--and a thank you note that tells the teacher, in great detail, what they have done in the life of my child. I know this means the world to these amazing teachers. Positive feedback is powerful.)

10. Dream with your kids about where a great education can take them. With good grades and a positive attitude, kids have so many choices! Help them to think about all the incredible things they could do with their lives and help them connect the dots. The work they are doing today matters for what they get to do tomorrow! And if you find your child is struggling, help them. Help them. Encourage them and work with them and talk to the teacher so that your children feel like they can keep moving toward those open doors. Discouraged children lose a lot of steam... help them work it through while speaking truth and hope into their young lives.

Do you see? We all have a part to play. Parents and teachers working together to build a community that supports the learning of children for the betterment of society! It is a beautiful picture that is lived out all over the country! But... not everywhere. There are children who need to catch a glimpse of this vision... who need access to better schools... who do not have the options we want for our kids. It is time to take our tax dollars seriously and find ways to help schools that need it. It is time to support the teachers who do amazing work, some with very little, and thank them for a job well done. It is time to find ways to reform the school system in America so that there are not 936 failing schools in ANY state.

When we come to see, teachers and parents alike, that this is a work that we share... that there is accountability both ways... that location or economy should not dictate quality... things will change. And the people who will benefit from that growth and reform are the children. The same children who will someday grow up, and in turn, seek to educate their own little ones. There is a ripple effect here that is worth all the effort, worth all the talk, worth all the work that it will take to do better.

Because really, what do you value? I am asking myself the same question. When I look at my life, at my choices, at my checkbook, do they confirm what my words say is truth? Looks like an easy question... but it is harder than it seems. This is not a topic for finger-pointing because we all have a part to play. And when it's all said and done, the answer will be clear. We will see what we valued in how we all lived and not in what we said.

In our family, value education. But, I know I must do more. What about you?

Blessings on your day.

Exposing Who We Are...

2010-11-10T09:35:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, I was straightening up our home. I cannot say it is a job I enjoy but it is a necessary component of my day. Often, as I move from room to room, I can feel my frustration levels rise. With four kids living here and our very full schedule bringing a challenge to most days, it is easy for the house to get pretty messy, pretty quickly. As I work, I often feel a little put out as I pick up things I did not leave around. There is a voice in my head that says, "Look, they are taking advantage of you. See? They know you will pick it up, so they leave it for you to do."

I hate that voice. I hate that feeling.

And yet... there is a truth to it all, too. Right?

That is not a fun way to clean. Not at all. And the truth of the matter is, cleaning is a part of life. No matter how much I hate it, no matter how frustrating it is, I will have to do it anyway. Uplifting blog post, huh? :)

I am not sure what happened yesterday, but for a few minutes I began to see the task differently. For a little while, as I cleaned up other people's messes, I realized that all those many things told me something about the person who left them laying about.

Let me explain.

As I went into the living room, the throw pillows that belong on the couch, were tossed onto the floor. As I picked them up, I remembered Josiah and EB tickling each other before school and in their rolling about, the pillows fell off the couch.

In cleaning up the bay window, I found an assignment guide of Noah's that helps him to know what math problems are to be done each night. Half the sheet is scratched off and I was reminded about how easily that has happened for him this year. The math teachers in middle school have helped him to understand the subject I always hated the most. Now, he loves it and works through the assignments with no struggle, no stress, no trouble at all. My son loves math.

As I straightened the kitchen, I found a stuffed white bunny on the island, next to a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Josiah's most beloved lovey, White Bunny (who is not very white anymore...) leaves the bed with him each morning and lands somewhere in his morning routine. Yesterday morning, White Bunny made it to breakfast. And by bedtime, we were all searching for him so Josiah could sleep. I love seeing my sweet boy carrying around that ratty old rabbit, each and every morning.

I entered the dining room and noticed immediately that there was sand beneath my feet. On the table were two models from ancient Egypt. Benjamin was given an assignment a couple weeks back to write a research paper on Egypt and then to do a project. For my over-achiever, one project is never enough. He came home and told us that he wanted to recreate both a pyramid and the Sphinx. After much squishing of clay, and rolling said clay in bunches of sand, the models are complete and drying on the dining room table. How Benjamin loves a job well done!

I also came across:

-Noah's open book on the arm of the couch.
-Two pages of the story Josiah is writing.
-Benjamin's shin guards and soccer socks from his play-off game.
-Elizabeth's baby doll's pajamas and fully dressed doll.
-Four cups of water
-Two markers
-A book list for school
-Three small candy wrappers
-A dog bone

As I finished my work and got ready to head off to school to pick up my kids, I just had to smile. Instead of focusing on the fairness of the work, I focused instead on the family for which I am working. In paying attention to the task at hand, my family had been exposed. Their likes and hobbies and beloved things... all of this surrounded me and I was enfolded in bits of their young lives.

My head was full of pictures. Pictures of my kids playing soccer and rolling out of bed. Pictures of them smiling and laughing and playing together. Pictures of homework getting done, snacks being eaten, projects getting accomplished, toys being played with, books being read... Pictures of... life. Life lived together in this humble space.

Yesterday, I spent time cleaning my house. It is not a job I enjoy but I sure love the people reflected in this work.

Blessings on your day.

Blog Rewind: Making Applesauce

2010-11-09T10:23:00.005-06:00

Last week, my kids got out of school early one day. I had spoken to a MOPs group that morning and I was beat. I had laundry to do and errands to run and found myself surrounded by all four of my children instead. Ever have one of those days when you know you have to regroup? This was that day for me.

Josiah loves apples. He would be fully content if we never processed one of the fresh picked apples from the orchard. Every day, every single day, Josiah eats an apple. (I will tell you that there must be something to be said about apples and health because the boy is rarely sick!) And while the apples we picked were meant to be eaten, I knew we were out of homemade applesauce and that our fresh picked crop needed to be canned.

Have you ever made applesauce with your kids? My friend Kristie taught me to do it about 5 years ago and honestly, I felt silly for not having done it before. It is easy, fun and healthy. Since Kristie showed us how, we have made applesauce every year and often give it as gifts at Christmas. My kids love the process and it has become a fun, family activity that helps save us money and eat more fruit!

Before I share our process, let me just encourage you. Some of you are excellent cooks who do so often. Some of you are totally intimidated by such things and I can totally understand that, too. Somewhere along the way, I found myself wanting to know how to do some home-y things that I somehow never learned to do. I was overwhelmed. I was intimidated. I was clueless! What I have found is that if I tap someone who can share some ideas or instructions with me, most things are really not that hard. Or... maybe I just like to find the easy way to do them! When I first thought about making applesauce, I really thought I would have to peel all those apples. I thought I would have to core all those apples! Just imagining the process exhausted me. Truth be told, you do not have to do either of these things... and making applesauce is easy... and it is SO good. If you have not done it before, this really is something you can do.

On that early dismissal day, I knew I would have all four kids home and we had time when we had nothing else to do. Perfect! I hunted for my canning supplies and hauled the apples in from the garage. Here is what we use for supplies:

1. Three big pots. One of these is a canning pot. You can buy one at Wal-Mart. Before I bought a canning pot, I used a big stock pot that I usually use for soup.

2. Knives for cutting the apples. One knife per person... my little ones use butter knives.

3. A saucer. Usually the box says tomato press. (It can be used to make apple or tomato sauce)You can buy them on-line, at Farm and Fleet, or other kitchen supply stores. It is TOTALLY worth buying this tool. With it, you will not have to peel or core your apples. It clamps to your counter (or has a suction cup... I prefer the clamp) and is the way that cooked apples turn into sauce.

4. Apples... lots of them!

5. Spices. Try cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice or clove... or a wonderful mixture of all of the above.

6. Canning jars, lids and rims. They are cheap and can be found at grocery stores, Wal-Mart, Target, on-line... anywhere!

7. Lots of bowls! : )

So, here is what we do:

We start by washing the apples. Rotten apples get thrown away, bruised apples stay. We toss them into the sink and fill it up with water. Eighty pounds of apples is about three sink fulls.

Next, we set up to cut the apples. I start by showing the kids how we do it. Essentially, we cut each apple into eight pieces. My older kids make the first cut, my younger ones cut the halves, which will not roll away. I help them see how to hold their fingers away from the knives and we focus on safety.

The apples then get thrown into a pot (pot 1) with a bit of water or apple cider. We keep cutting while the apples begin to simmer. The goal is to get the apples soft... the peels, cores, seeds and stems are still completely attached.

While these apples simmer, the kids are still cutting the others into eighths. As their pile of pieces grows, I get out another pot (pot 2) and fill that one, too. If I am able to step away during all of this, I get out the canning pot (pot 3) and fill it with hot water. I put that one of another burner and cover the pot to encourage it to boil. As soon as the water in pot 3 boils, I drop my jars and my lids into the water to heat. I just let this boil away until I need the jars later.

As soon as the apples in pot 1 are softened, I dump them into a bowl to begin to cool. I rinse this pot and then give it back to the kids to fill with more cut apples.

Now, with our saucer set up, I pour the apples into the top and start to turn the crank. All the kids like to have a turn helping with this part! The apples go into the top and then the crank turns them into the saucer. Applesauce falls out of the side of the saucer and all the stems, seeds, peels and cores come out the end. It is an amazing tool!

When we are done with processing the apples from pot 1, I check pot 2 for soft apples. If they are ready, we pour them into a bowl, rinse the pot and fill it with more apples. Pot 1 goes back to heat and we just keep going this way.

When the bowl with the applesauce in it is getting full, we stop what we are doing and add some spices. We use Jonagold and Fuji apples and have never needed to add any sugar at all. After we mix it, it is time to start filling jars. I pull several jars out of the boiling canning pot and use a measuring cup with a handle (two cup, glass measuring cup) to pour the sauce into the jars. I use a funnel to get the sauce in without getting it on the jars. As soon as the sauce is in, I pull a lid from the boiling water and use a rim to keep it on. We keep filling the jars this way.

Once we have processed all our apples and all our jars are full, I tighten all the rims and return them to the boiling water in the canning pot. They need to boil in the water bath for 20 minutes, completely submerged. Depending on how much applesauce you have, you might need to do this in batches.

After the time has elapsed, we pull the jars out and put them on a towel to cool. As they cool, you should hear them pop. When they pop, the canning seal is REALLY sealed. Once they are sealed, they will keep for several years. We normally make some applesauce without seasoning, some with cinnamon and clove and some with our secret ingredient that turns our applesauce pink! The pink is my favorite, by far!

We love the process and I love helping my kids to learn that hard work done together can create something so yummy. We work hard to make it fun and everyone enjoys the process. Every now and then, I will send them off to play while I process some on my own. The breaks help a ton!

We also save some apples for pies and cakes. This year, Josiah and Benjamin used my apple/peeler/corer/slicer to prepare apples for other uses. We find that one apple can make about a cup of sliced apple. My pie recipe calls for 6 cups of sliced apples so we froze sliced, peeled apples in this quantity seasoned with cinnamon and sugar in Ziploc bags. Throughout the next year, I will be able to pull a bag of fresh apples out of my deep freeze and quickly and easily make home-made apple pie.

This year, we have had two apple saucing sessions. Both lasted just a couple of hours and the jars of applesauce will last us over a year. Every time we serve the applesauce, our children talk about the process. They feel a sense of pride about what they have done together and I love to hear them remember that day. I love that we are eating food we picked and processed and is fully without preservatives.

Last week, my kids got out of school early. Though I was tired, I had my kids at home for a bit of extra time and chose to do something together. I needed to regroup. Sometimes, I need to remember that needing to regroup does not always mean spending time alone. No doubt about it, it was work. But in the end, I spent the afternoon listening to my children talk and giggle while we sought to reach a common goal. I taught them something concrete that they will have when I am no longer here. We made some memories together and created a way to remember it again and again... and all of it tasted so very sweet.

Now that is a way to regroup.

Blessings on your day!

Because It Matters...

2010-09-29T11:12:00.006-05:00

Friday morning, I was driving home from dropping my kids off at school when I realized our iPod was missing from the van. The van had been parked in our driveway, in our safe, secluded, little neighborhood overnight. I assumed Mark had grabbed it to take it to work so I called him when I got home. He didn't have it. After tearing the van apart, the reality slowly hit us. Someone had stolen our iPod.

It has been a rough road for us financially for quite some time. Having been crushed by the housing crisis, we work hard to keep our heads above water. We scrimp and save and have to plan for the simplest outing. We budget for months before making bigger purchases. Our iPod had been a gift to our family last Christmas. We do not have a lot of electronic gadgets in our home but wanted to have a way to carry our music with us and help our kids to stay somewhat current electronically. We made a plan that we would share the iPod, make individual play lists and check it out of our home as one would check out a library book. More often than not though, we used it in the van. With an adaptor on hand, we enjoyed listening to music we all like while driving from event to event or on longer trips. Personally, I love to use it when I work out. The radio feature was so helpful to me. I could listen to things I enjoy while jogging on the treadmill. Having it stolen means not having it. The whole ordeal was so discouraging because it served as another reminder of our tough financial place. It was a luxury item and one I cannot afford to replace.

Oddly, nothing else in the van was touched. Not my purse or Mark's wallet. Everything else was exactly as we left it... except for the missing iPod. Mark mentioned this fact when talking to friends at work and found they had experienced a similar thing. Money left in the vehicle, only the iPod taken. Mark's friends surmised that the theft was likely committed by a teen who simply wants an iPod and does not have one. Surely an adult, or someone with experience in theft, would take anything of value--especially cash--when rifling through someone's vehicle. A teen? Maybe not...

It makes me mad. It really does. Our iPod was stolen at night, during a rainstorm. If it was indeed taken by a teen, it makes me wanna ask, "Where is your momma??" Because if this happened just like this, some young child was out and about, AT NIGHT, unattended. We know that this person went through BOTH of our vehicles that night. Then, this child, went home soaking wet from the storm, carrying an iPod that did not belong to him or her. Did anyone notice? Did anyone see the wet clothes, the unpurchased electronics? Did anyone hear the door open and close in the dead of night when some teen left to rummage through other people's cars? I know it's a little simplistic and I know there are larger things at play. I know it could have been an adult and I know that my question might even be a little judgemental but honestly, where was this kid's mom?

My friends, losing an iPod is a small thing. It mattered to us because of bigger factors but it offered us a reminder as well. It matters. This matters. It matters that I approach my parenting with enthusiasm and purpose. It matters that I am strict with my four. It matters that they are not allowed to get away with things in our home that they know what they should not do. Because, and this is so important, it does not begin with stealing an iPod from a stranger's van! Whether the person who did this to us is an adult or a teen, the reality is that walking this road began with one small step. One decision of disobedience. One act that likely went unnoticed and then a second act was made. Do you see? It matters. It matters that we are there sitting next to our kids and helping them to find a good road. It matters that we discipline the small things and the big. It matters that we set a good example and are consistent because when the time comes for our kids to choose: work for the iPod or steal the iPod? it will be our voices in their heads that tell them they know better. See? It matters.

Today, as you love on your kids, as you discipline when needed, as you prepare meals, do laundry, work and live in and around your family, remember this: when it is hard and when it seems pointless, when you are frustrated and when you are weary, when you have said the same thing for 200th time and a new thing for the first, it is worth it. You are laying a foundation for your child that matters, not only to you, but to the world around you. You are raising your child up with accountability that will help them come to choose a better way. You are teaching them that when you do something against someone, it hurts them, and that is not okay. Today, that might be about hitting a sibling or cleaning up your mess. Tomorrow, it will mean far more. It is an investment in your family, in your community, in our world that really, truly, honestly matters.

My kids make mistakes. As they get older, the mistakes will get bigger and this is already a matter of prayer for me! But, whatever those mistakes might be, I want to know that they know better. I want to know that I have done whatever I can to help them find a better way. Some days that is easier than others. Some days, it is a mountain I don't know how to climb. But I want to keep going... for them, for me, for all of you. Because it matters.

There is one more thing. After hearing about our iPod, a couple who is dear to us went out and bought us a new one. It was a huge surprise and an overwhelming gift. We were so grateful and feel so blessed by this act of generosity. You know what though? I knew his momma, her mother-in-law. His momma was good and attentive and gracious. She made a loving impression on all her children and their spouses. She passed away several years ago, but to this day, her children still tell stories about her with tears in their eyes. It mattered. Every second she spent next to her children mattered. And matters still.

Blessings on your day.

The Work I Love the Best

2010-09-22T07:54:00.001-05:00

In November and December I will be in and out of churches and events all around the United States. And while I am speaking all the rest of the months of the year, those two months will be the busiest speaking months I have ever had. I honestly cannot wait. It is an overwhelming privilege to me to meet people from all over, talk with them, offer practical ideas on parenting problems... or more importantly, journey alongside them.

For those of you who wander in here to the blog and read along every day, please know that this type of talking can come right to where you are. Before I ever wrote one word on this blog, I was working as a speaker. It is what I love to do.

And I want to do it more. Who do you know that is looking for a speaker for their event, group or conference? Will you take a minute and forward this blog to them? I have limited openings this fall and several openings in the spring. I am booking well into next year and would love to fill more dates with the work I love the best.

If you are interested, or know anyone else who is, I am listing some of my most popular topics below. There is more information on my speaking ministry and my topics at http://www.nadiaswearingen-friesen.com/. I would love to meet you soon!

Blessings on your day!

A few speaking topics to review:

-Using Sticks to Build a Structure: This is my most popular talk and the topic of the book I am bringing to publishers now. I am so excited about this topic because I truly believe that it makes a difference in the lives of families. So, if you are tired of being frustrated, if you wish you didn't have to nag, if you ever wanted your children to do tasks without being asked, if you wish you could have more structure but aren't a structure kinda gal, this topic is for you.

-Growing the Spiritual Lives of our Children: We all know that having a healthy spiritual life is important. But how do we help our children to grow spiritually? This topic offers practical advice to help you work this growth into your day-to-day life. You will understand, in a brand new way, how to connect your sweet, little ones to The One who loves them best.

-How to Raise a Reader: Wish your kids would read more? Worried about helping your children love to read? This topic gives specific advice about helping children to become enthusiastic about books! Whether you have a newborn or a 15 year old, you can effect change in this area for your child. Specific titles are suggested along with easy ideas to bring literacy into the forefront of your family life.

-Connecting to Christmas: In the midst of so much hoopla, the truth about Christmas can get lost in the clutter. What if we could focus on the real meaning behind this important holiday in a way that is fun and honest and celebratory? This talk offers plenty of practical advice to help this Christmas be one that holds deep, meaningful family memories for you and your children.

-How to Get Back Outside: Wander down a neighborhood street in the middle of summer and you may not see one child outside. With electronic gadgets vying for childhood attentions, there are fewer and fewer children who even know how to play outside. How can we help our children to regain the wonder of unstructured play? What value does this hold? This talk helps motivate parents to encourage outdoor free-play. Supported by many current statistics and studies, this is an important topic for our families today!

Perspective

2010-09-21T11:53:00.003-05:00

Ever have a bad day? Ever get caught in the cycle of wishing things were different than they are? That totally happens to me.

Lately, I find myself wishing:

-Our budget would balance

-Our house would sell

-My book would get published

-Our money stress would ease up

-Tuition was free

-The economy would improve

-Layoffs would end

-My kids wouldn't talk back

-My house was cleaner

-My dog was groomed

-My daughter would eat better

-My son would eat more

-Our laundry would get done

-There would be less paper mess in our home

-I could lose weight AND eat

-I would be less tired

-I would read more

-I would write more

-I would be less stressed, less worried, less...

One worry builds on another. One stress exposes the next. It is easy to spiral down into a place where all I see around me is another thing to wish about... I hate that. Does that ever happen to you?

This morning as drove into the parking lot at school with my kids, I prayed with them for their day. With my heart weary from worry, I focused on the little things. Little things that can lead to great gratitude.

I prayed, "Dear Lord, thank you for the color of the leaves. Thank you that we have shoes on our feet. Thank you that our school is safe. Thank you that we have lunch to bring. Thank you for teachers who care deeply for students. Thank you waking us up, for giving us breath, for this one, simple day. In Jesus' name, Amen."

When I pulled out of the parking lot, I noticed the leaves more than the lightness of my wallet.

That's probably as it should be.

Blessings on your day.

Waiting for Superman and Noah's First Year

2010-09-20T11:30:00.003-05:00

Noah was five, Benjamin was 4 and I was pregnant with Josiah. My due date was at the end of August and I was worried about missing my first-born's first day of school. The whole school decision had been so difficult for us and Mark and I had struggled to decide where to enroll our sweet, little boy.

Mark and I both went to public school. I enjoyed my school experience and think I was well prepared for college. Mark had a different public school experience... a difficult time based more on the environment than the academics. But overall, we felt the local public school was a good option for our family.

We wondered if there might there be a better option? We toured a Christian school with a great reputation located near our home. The tour happened in January, 8 months before the year would begin, and we loved what we saw. Thinking this might be a better fit for us, we applied for admission in January. And we were turned down. The school was full. In January. For the next August.

Thinking this was a fine solution to our wondering, we enrolled Noah in the local public school without ever setting foot inside. On the morning of the the Kindergarten drop-in day, I took my two little boys to visit what would become Noah's class. I was "great with child" and waddled into the school looking forward to meeting the woman who would quickly become one of the most important people in my son's life.

To say that what I found in that place was disappointing to me is stating it lightly. I was saddened, worried and unsure about what the year would hold. It was not just the teacher. It was the whole environment, the classrooms, the staff and administration I had met, the overall climate itself. I called Mark from the parking lot and told him we had made a terrible mistake. This school was not going to do what we had hoped. He tried to reassure me but the years I had spent teaching in my own classroom gave me a perspective that I might not have otherwise had. I knew what I wanted for my child. I knew what kind of environment would lead to great growth in his young life. I knew that I was giving them a curious, intelligent, sensitive little boy and I knew I wanted all of those qualities to be nurtured. I had a very bad feeling about what was to come.

Now please, before you hit comment and tell me about the wonderful public schools that exist in America, hear this... I know. I really do. This blog and my feelings on education in America is not based on public or private schools! I know a lot of amazing teachers that teach in all kinds of schools and I attended some excellent public schools myself. I am grateful to many folks who worked in those schools for coming alongside me and helping me to find my way. They contributed mightily to my young life. I also know many families who choose to home-school and do a great job of that, too. I believe there are many ways to be educated and many ways to do that well. And sadly, I believe there are many ways to do that poorly, also.

What happened in our family during Noah's kindergarten year is not about public or private school. You know what it is about? A bad educational experience. And it should NEVER have happened.

Within a month of starting, Noah stopped talking after school. For hours after getting off the bus, he was sullen and withdrawn. I was afraid for my boy. We became aware of situations at the school where teachers were essentially calling students names. There were teachers there, teachers he saw regularly, who, during that entire year, never learned his name. The office, where I went weekly to check in and volunteer in my son's class, never learned mine. There was no sense of community and very little, if any, warmth. At the end of the year, there was a situation that helped me to understand how students end up never learning to read. I was beside myself. This is not what I wanted for my son. Not at all. And yet, it IS what my tax dollars pay for.

As someone who has spent years teaching, I know how hard the job can be. I also know very well how important it is to care deeply for that work and to strive to be the best that you can be. I hate that many teachers do not feel supported by their administration and that thousands of schools do not feel they have the resources necessary to do a great job. Even more importantly, I feel for teachers who know that they do not have the support of their student's parents to partner with them to accomplish the enormous task of educating that child. And yes, I understand there are reasons for some of this. I know money is tight, teachers are overworked, parents are busy... I get it. But, while I try to explain away what has happened to American schools, I am exceedingly more aware that United States is falling farther and farther behind other developed countries in math and science. The amazing part is that we rank higher than most in confidence. Really? Our children are less educated than other countries and yet we feel really great about ourselves? This cannot be good.

This is a sensitive subject. I want to be careful. And yet, the fact that we all feel like we have to be so careful about this subject is part of the reason that nothing ever improves! I am tired of being afraid of what people will think. I am tired of being afraid of what the Teacher's Union might feel. I am tired of it all. Because tip-toeing around this subject does not lead to needed change. And change is needed. Again, this is not about public schools or private schools or Christian schools or home-schools. It is about educating our children! We need to stop stomping our feet and offering excuses and start looking around. Children know what we teach them. When they are under-educated and hate school, that is not their fault! It is ours! It is our fault as parents for not expecting more. It is our fault as educators for not setting a higher standard and then reaching for it. It is our fault as Americans for setting aside our dream of having well-educated children who have tremendous opportunities ahead of them and instead settling for the school up the street. And it is the fault of the school up the street... that school that gets your tax dollars whether they do a great job or fail miserably, the school that should feel a huge sense of accountability to the children they are privileged to teach... but sometimes focus more on what is needed by teachers instead.

There is a documentary coming out called Waiting for Superman. It addresses all of this and so much more. It is my prayer that millions of people will see it and then be moved... moved to act, moved to change, moved to stand up for education in America and demand better! I so want to see the educational system in this great country turned on its ear and changed to become what it needs to be to meet the needs of our children. I want to see children who cannot wait to go to school, who understand the value of education, who have parents who will come alongside them and fight for their need for the highest quality education available. And for all those amazing schools that are already working in the United States, I want to give them a hand. I want people to see them and know them and praise them and financially support them so they can keep on doing exactly what they are already doing so well. Waiting for Superman can help us to see what is happening around us. I am going to see that movie. Are you?

If there has ever been a hint of worry in you about the education your children will receive or are receiving, it is time to act on that emotion. It is time for us, as mommas to our deeply loved children, to show up at our schools... public, private and charter... and work with the teachers and administration to make it even better than it is. And yes, it is time for us to find the teachers who have relied on tenure to keep their jobs--not job performance-- and release them from this most important position to make room for teachers who deeply care about education and about children and about the future of the United States.

This is one of those blogs that makes it hard to hit "post". I don't know what you are thinking but I know this: I will not let my fear about posting on a sensitive subject overrule my desire for my children to have access to excellent education. It is not my desire to offend... it is my desire to be honest and to share a bit of our own experience. Look around you. We live in an amazing place. We know the value of education. Surely we can do better than this.

Blessings on your day.

Simple Woman's Daybook--September 7, 2010

2010-09-07T09:23:00.003-05:00

If you blog, you can do this, too. C'mon, you can do it! Join in the fun!

Outside my window... the yard is totally taken care of... This weekend, we added mulch, weeded areas desperately in need, cleaned gutters, trimmed bushes... It all looks so nice.

I am thinking... about a talk I am giving on Friday. I have some work to do yet to get ready but am grateful for another opportunity to speak. I love, love, love this work...

I am thankful for... for a bit of quiet. I love having time in the day to catch my breath and prepare for the busy evening spent with my four children. Noah and Benjamin also have their first soccer game tonight and I am still just so grateful that Noah can play, even with the broken arm.

From the kitchen... Tonight, I am making soup in the crock pot. When we come home from soccer, it will be ready and waiting for us and the house will smell wonderful. :) I am planning on baking some fresh bread to go with it, too.

I am wearing... faded jeans and a long sleeve black t-shirt... Love that it is cool enough to wear long pants!

I am creating... My next talk for Friday... and a menu for the week. I just found a new recipe for homemade mac and cheese that includes a bit of bacon... comfort food! This is the week to try it out!

I am dreaming... about finding a few more speaking engagements for early fall and for spring. My late fall and winter dates (especially around the holidays) are very full! I am so excited about that and cannot wait to really get going. If you know someone looking for a speaker to talk about parenting topics, send them my way!

I am going...to get mums today for the front porch. This part of fall is so wonderful to me... though I am not a fan of the bare trees that are only about 6 weeks away!

I am reading...Radical, in an online group. Have you read it? I am excited about it. Still working on Crazy Love, too. Excited to process through both of these challenging books.

I am hoping... for a book contract. Holy cow, that feels awfully forward... but now that I have share my book with publishers, I am so excited about how this could go. Feels risky to hope... so I am preferring to think of it as trust.

I am hearing... the wind blowing through my backyard... The screen door is open and I can hear the leaves moving on the breeze. Love the peacefulness of it...

Around the house... We got a lot of cleaning done this weekend... still have laundry to do but am grateful that there is not a world of mess everywhere.

One of my favorite things... cooking for my family. I am eager to plan for them this week... to provide meals that are healthy and good. Even with the busyness we will be facing over the next several days, I love knowing we will have something warm and tasty to eat together each night.

A few plans for the rest of the week...lots of soccer, a bit of ballet, some writing, some speaking, some cooking... all good.

What about you? : )

Blessings on your day!

Looking for more like this? http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

What We Found...

2010-09-02T15:53:00.007-05:00

He had to come along. There was no where else for him to be. Noah and Benjamin had soccer practice, Elizabeth had ballet. Josiah? He would ride along and sit with me for the hour he sister spent dancing.

When I first realized he would have to join us at her class, I felt a little bad for him. After all, what's a boy to do at his sister's dance studio? After a summer of being allowed to occasionally be left home under Noah's care, Josiah has gotten used to having some choices.... used to be able to hang with the boys if an errand must be run. But yesterday, there were no big boys home. So off we went for dance class... Elizabeth, a vision in a pink leotard and tights; Josiah, caught in the middle of a scheduling blip and me.

We arrived on time and in she went. Josiah sat slumped on the floor with a book and a piece of paper. He would work a bit "on his book" during class, he said... but his eyes wandered to the window nearby.

"C'mon, buddy..." I started. "Let's go see what we find."

He gathered his things and ran quickly to me, questions pouring forth from his lips.

"But momma, where will we go? What will find? Are we looking for something? What if class ends and we are not back? What if..."

He tilted his head to listen... the sun glimmered off the blond in his hair.

"What's that sound?" he asked. "Momma, what's that?"

It was familiar to me from years gone by and I smiled and ruffled his hair.

"Let's go see, buddy. Let's see what we can find."

The dance studio is located near a large high school and the practice field sat between us and them. Loudly we heard, tick! tock! tick! tock! and I walked a step behind my son as he followed the sound.

We climbed through a rough field for a while and climbed a small hill to the practice above. There, we found it. And a new sound began... music... instruments.... a loud, micro-phoned metronome keeping time.

A marching band!

Josiah could not believe his luck! With his love of music, he had found himself in nearly a perfect spot. Standing in nature, sun on his face, music surrounding his small self... perfection.

He did not move a muscle... just watched and listened and wondered at it all. The whole while, I watched him. I saw how his smile rose and fell with the drama of the music being played. I noticed his fingers, gently keeping time as the metronome tick! tocked! on... And for me, so much of it fell away right then and I was left looking at my boy. My boy who is growing up. My boy who has become taller and leaner and older and wiser. My boy who is old enough to stand still and listen and young enough to still feel the joy. And the field didn't matter then or the worry about time because for those simple minutes, it was just Josiah and I, together.

The music faded then and I looked to see the students gathering in groups. Practice was over.

"Wow." he whispered. "I guess this is what we found."

He smiled at me and I smiled back and I took his hand in mine. As we walked back, he chatted on and I remembered wondering what we would do. As I listened to my son talk about school and friends, it struck me. I need to spend less time planning what we will do... and allow for some time to be.

Yesterday, is stored up for me, not because of an outing or elaborate event. No, it is stored up in pictures... the September sun on Josiah's face, his smile beaming up at me, his once-combed-hair floating on the breeze... my son, age 8.

Blessings on your day.

Not About the Bees...

2010-09-01T11:00:00.003-05:00

After a particularly dicey morning, I dropped the kids off at school and headed home. As I drove I was listening to a news report about a problem with bees in the United States. (I bet this is not what you expected to read on my blog today!)

As I listened, I learned that there is currently a growing concern over Colony Collapse Disorder which occurs when a bee hive appears healthy but suddenly, the worker bees do not return to the hive. In order to reach a diagnosis of Colony Collapse Disorder, there needs to be "capped brood" present (baby bees in little hive cells, still growing), a living queen bee and declining numbers of worker bees. (Hang with me here...)

There was a bee expert being interviewed about how he is dealing with CCD and the increasing numbers of dead bees. The belief is that the missing worker bees die outside the hive somewhere, which is why they do not return. The death rate is extraordinarily high and given the fact that their life span is only 1-4 months, this is a concern. The worry goes far beyond human honey consumption. Since bees pollinate crops, their absence greatly effects much of what we eat.

Then the expert said something that really caught my interest. He began to explain that they don't know why the bees are dying and that they are not even trying to figure that out. Instead, they are trying to extend their lives. He went on to talk about how they have been adding a protein supplement "glop" onto hives which causes the bees to worry about why something is messing up their workspace. They eat the "glop" in an effort to clean it up and then live 20% longer.

At this point, my mind is racing. Here are some of the questions that I began to mull over:

1. Do bees eat protein normally??

2. Is introducing a different food source helpful in the long run or the short run?

3. If they bees now have to clean their hive, aren't they doing less "bee work" anyway?

4. Is a 20% increase worth this approach? (I think we are talking about between 6-24 extra days in the life of a bee.)

5. And why, WHY, would you look for a solution before understanding the problem?

It is question #5 that perplexed me most. The problem is that bees are dying. The logical question is why. But this is not being asked and a solution is being concocted without an answer in place. Without really understanding, it seems to me, that the solution could actually become part of the problem. Without asking questions about the reality, how can you really effect the outcome? The problem is not bee life span. The problem is bee death. And, what if this protein "glop" actually creates other problems? What if it distracts the bees from bee work? What if it calls bears to the hives with its protein scent? What if it hurts the bees long term? I am no bee expert and I am probably missing some of the story. But, it seems to me the answer does not fit the question that bee experts need to ask.

As the story ended, I found myself wondering how often I do the exact same thing. How often do I look for a fast fix before trying to understand what is really happening before me. What effect does this have on our family life? Do I intervene in ways that effect change where change is needed, or where it is easy?

This morning was a little crazy here. The beginning of the school year can be that way. My kids are squirrely, our routine is still settling and we are all a bit low on sleep. One of my boys is fighting me, day and night, on everything from chores to clothes and I am feeling weary. This morning, I lost my patience, raised my voice and struggled with deep frustration. Doling out discipline in the face of disobedience can be an easy fix. For the sake of a 20% increase in the peacefulness of our morning, I chose an action and moved forward... without ever asking WHY. Why is my boy so frustrated? Why is his wick so short? What does he really need? The answer to our problem lies in the asking of these questions, not in the knee jerk reaction of power over position.

Looking around my hive today, I am reminded that the work that we do is not short term. As mommas to our babies, the questions we ask ourselves about the little ones at our knees matter far more than the behavior we are seeing today. Behavior begins somewhere. It has a purpose. A frustrated child acts out. An attention-needing child gets loud. A sad child might be mad. A stressed child causes stress. A confused child seeks (or creates) order. A needy child seeks structure. And all of this, all of this, can be impacted by our contact with them. Processing can release frustration. Time can offer attention. An embrace can release sadness. Assistance can eliminate stress. Clarification can clear confusion. Lap-time fills neediness. We have what it takes... if we are not distracted by the short term... if we do not offer up the "glop".

Our lives at home can be hectic. So it is in my home, too. And we will not always respond the way we wish that we would. But this morning, I was reminded that my work is worth more than the keeping of bees. I was reminded of the futility of offering what is not needed without ever asking the deeper questions of my kids. When I ask, when I think, when I wonder, when I reach out, what I will find is the place where my babies and I connect. What I will discover in that place is a sacred spot that I was always intended to fill. Yes, sometimes I will miss it. Sometimes, my short fuse will stand in my way. But sometimes, I will see it and act and be love incarnate in the life of my child.

Even in the midst of busy days and nights, let's be mindful of our need to slow down. Let's look around our hives today and take a deep breath and ask the hard questions and offer what is needed in place of what is easy. I know how tired we get. But there is energy to be found in the loving of our kids, in listening to them laugh and in knowing them well... good days and bad.

Blessings on your day.

Simple Woman's Daybook--August 31, 2010

2010-08-31T06:58:00.001-05:00

If you blog, you can do this, too. C'mon, you can do it! Join in the fun!

Outside my window... it still looks like summer... and yet, my kids are off to school and the green of the leaves has changed to a duller, darker color... a sure sign of fall.

I am thinking... about so many details... about how Noah's broken arm actually makes me grateful... about balancing the busyness of the beginning of school and needing to find time to write and work and get organized for the speaking season ahead. Hoping a few minutes of quiet today will help me to slow my thoughts...

I am thankful for... Noah's arm not being more badly broken. I am thankful that he will heal quickly, that he can still play soccer, that he and Benjamin both made the team at school. And, I am thankful for school... I LOVE our school... the teachers, the curriculum, the enthusiasm my children bring home each day...

From the kitchen... I am working on a menu for the week... and hoping to bring in some homemade goodies, too. Tonight... perhaps the grill?

I am wearing... dark gray capri pants and a black t-shirt with flip flops... momma gear today!

I am creating... my next article for a MOPs magazine! Did you see the last one? I just did and was so glad it all worked out. I have two articles coming up for them... and cannot wait! I gotta say, the whole thing is exciting and humbling... interesting mix.

I am dreaming... about the upcoming speaking season! Things are booking nicely though oddly I still have room early in fall and a bit in the spring. Know someone looking for a speaker for their retreat, group or event? This is a great time to get in contact with me and set that up!

I am going...to take the kids to school, enjoy a cup of coffee, do some writing and then work a bit in the laundry room to see if the floor is really still under there. :)

I am reading... Crazy Love. Are you? Have you? Hmmm....

I am hoping... for a book contract. Holy cow, that feels awfully forward... but now that I have share my book with publishers, I am so excited about how this could go. Feels risky to hope... so I am preferring to think of it as trust.

I am hearing... the air conditioner running, the coffee pot dripping, and a good bunch of quiet.

Around the house... I need to work on laundry and some basic cleaning. My house stays cleaner when the kids are at school. I like that... though honestly, that makes me feel a little guilty, too. Wish I was better at embracing the mess my kids make...

One of my favorite things... driving my kids to and from school... listening to them, talking with them. It is just so good.

A few plans for the rest of the week...lots of soccer, and eye appointment or two this week, helping my kids adjust to school, lots of writing, lots of reading...

What about you? : )

Blessings on your day!

Looking for more like this? http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Coming Back Soon...

2010-08-20T22:23:00.002-05:00

I am like you. Surrounded by laundry and children and days and months of things to do. It has been summer and I all that surrounds me has been my priority.

Some days that meant we went to the beach.

Some days we worked in the garden.

Some days we huffed and puffed and fussed at each other... frustrations getting the best of us. Maybe that doesn't happen to you... but it does, sometimes, happen to me.

But, every day we were together. Every day, we made beds and sandwiches, laughed out loud, read some books, spent time outside, dreamed and thought and wrote and connected to the ones we are blessed to call family.

And nothing is more important that that.

So, thank you for your patience... for checking in from time to time... for wondering when I would come back and for reading what few posts were written during these long summer months. I missed the regular writing. I missed the habit of reflection. I missed your comments, the camaraderie, this blog. And yet, letting it go even in the missing made it possible for me to end the summer knowing I did not miss what I value most. My sweet family... who will only be 13, 11, 7 and 6 once. Just this summer. And I couldn't look away.

School will come back next week and I will extend myself some grace as I ease back into blogging. I look forward to being back here and sharing some thoughts on things we did during these 80 or so days. And, I look forward to hearing about what you did, too.

For now, I am wallowing in a well of mixed emotions... excitement for my kids who will start another great year, sadness at seeing them hurrying headlong into the full schedule of school, guiltily giddy at the thought of time to myself, annual anxiety about how it will all go... Yep, it's hard to be articulate now. That time is coming though... it isn't today.

So, keep checking in and in no time at all, I will be back in the regular swing. I look forward to seeing you there...

Blessings on your day!

27

2010-08-08T21:44:00.002-05:00

"Momma, can I read you a prayer I wrote?" Elizabeth asked as we drove to church.

"Yep."

"Dear God," she began, "I know you made me special. Thank you for loving me. Amen. That's a short one."

I glanced in the rear-view mirror and saw her smiling to herself as she looked out the window at the trees going by...

I smiled, too. Because she knows. She knows that she is loved... she knows that she is loved with a love that is bigger and more important than anything I can shower upon her. God loves my little girl and has had His eye on her since the very beginning. When she was laying in an orphanage in China, He loved her and had a plan for her. Today, it makes her smile to herself as she rides in our family van.

Twenty-seven years ago, I learned this truth for the very first time. (I wrote about my experience last year and you can read about it here.) As I reflect on it all again, I am struck by a different view. One decision, one realization of truth, does not only change one life. It is so much bigger than that.

When I was sixteen years old, I found myself at a Christian camp understanding God's love and salvation for me in a way I had never understood it before. So, I stood up and fumbled my words and cried my tears and fell head-long into God's grace for me. Yes, my young life was drastically changed and the path my feet found themselves upon was unlike any I had seen prior to that day. My motivations, my habits, my language, my desires... all changed. But, there was so much more...

Twenty-seven years ago, I could not know that I would one day sit in church while my son, Noah, stood to profess his own young faith. Twenty-seven years ago, I could not imagine that my Benjamin would think so deeply and question so thoroughly the communion table and our practices there. Long ago, when I was only 16 years old, I did not know that my Josiah would learn to sing praise songs before he could speak and would spontaneously spring into a short sermon starting at age three. Way back then, I could not dream of Elizabeth's sweet face, smiling with happiness as she read a prayer she had written to her God.

My marriage to a Godly man, my service to a Christian college, my teaching Bible to first grade students in my class, none of it... not any of it... could be found on the path I was on before August 9, 1983.

It looks like just a choice. Choose to accept God's love for me, or not. Today, I see anew that what we choose today has everything to do with where we are tomorrow. That choice, however, goes far beyond ourselves and impacts deeply the lives of those we love today and those we cannot even imagine loving years from now. Our choices take on a different hue when we step back a little bit and try to see what comes from what we take into our lives. It is bigger. It is harder. It is potentially, deeply blessed.

What strikes me now as I sit here tonight is that there was a choice that happened before mine. A choice that was made out of overwhelming love for someone who was yet to come. Because God knew me and saw me long before I had ever come to be. And way back then, He showered His love on me and chose me and wrapped his eternal arms around the-me-who-would-come-to-be and around my babies, too.

I love that those arms are big and loving and open enough to find the space for you to be enfolded, too. I hope you know this... because the path that is found when you accept that Truth is beautiful and gracious and good.

The journey is a good one... and the fact that I get to walk it with my husband and children alongside is a gift that outshines anything I even knew to desire.

And, I am grateful.

Blessings on your day.

Reaching Out in the Storm

2010-08-03T13:45:00.003-05:00

It stormed last night, loud and bright, for hours on end. I was already beyond tired from an amazing weekend at She Speaks and eager for uninterrupted sleep. I headed up to bed early and settled in for what I hoped would be a long and peaceful night.

It was not.

My head was swimming with thoughts and dreams that were nurtured while in North Carolina. Relaxing enough to drift right off was harder than I had hoped. Then in the middle of the night, the thunder and lightening woke Josiah, who wandered in to sleep with us. As he is my snuggliest little one, I am normally thrilled to wake with him by my side... But last night? I was pushed to the middle of our queen-sized bed and could not get comfortable to save my life! After tossing and turning and fussing and such, I gingerly climbed over my sleeping boy and took my pillow to the guest room.

The guest room is our chilliest spot and I was grateful for good air conditioning. Our golden doodle followed me and jumped up to join in and very shortly, I was asleep again.

But, not for long.

"Momma!" I heard and opened my eyes to see 'Siah's face only inches from mine.

"Momma," he said, "I couldn't find you. I looked and couldn't see you. I was so afraid. I didn't know where you were."

I opened the comforter on the guest room bed and in climbed my sweet boy. He rubbed his face on my shoulder and draped his arms and legs over me in an effort to just get close... to know that I was there... to feel righted and safe and found again. Fears relieved, he drifted back to sleep.

Not me. I watched the storm light his face again and again and prayed a grateful prayer for the privilege of being Josiah's mom. I was overwhelmed by how important I am in the lives of my children... how needed I am... even when I feel like nothing more than "the-one-who-keeps-us-clean-and-going". As I rested there, I was reminded of a Bible story I have always loved.

Luke 8:42-48 (NIV)

"As Jesus was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him. 43 And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her. 44She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped.

45 "Who touched me?" Jesus asked.

When they all denied it, Peter said, "Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you."

46 But Jesus said, "Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me."

47 Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. 48 Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."

There are so many amazing moments in this brief story but what struck me last night is that the woman knew what she needed. Because she was "subject to bleeding", she would have been considered unclean and therefore would not have been touchable by others or have the right to touch others throughout that whole long season of illness. And yet, when she saw Jesus coming, she knew she had to get close. She knew she needed to be healed. She knew she wanted to be found and freed from fear and illness. So, she broke the law of the day and reached out to touch Him, though she was unclean... though the law said, that touch would cause Him to be the same. And she was healed. Found. Freed.

Last night, as Josiah slept with me, the whole of that story became tangible. He responded out of need and found his momma. Am I brave enough to do the same? When I know what I need, can I act on that and seek it out?

Seems to me, I have found myself in an awful lot of "storms" lately. Our housing situation, financial worries and momma stresses keep me trapped in a rocking boat. Except, I am not trapped. And neither are you. If I stick out my hand in faith, the edge of His cloak is completely within my reach. I watched my 'Siah find comfort like that... and I know it can work for me.

It stormed last night and I was tired but even in the midst of it all, God was clear to me. Watching my boy, I remembered again that I do not need to struggle alone. The hope was not found in the cloth of his coat, but in the One who wore it well. No matter what becomes thunder and lightening for me, this truth will not change. The One who allowed Himself to become unclean for her, does the same for me. And in knowing that, I find myself a solid place to stand.

Blessings on your day.

Blog Rewind: Sleep and The Nest...

2010-08-01T16:56:00.000-05:00

Having babies close together creates unusual situations in families. When Benjamin was born, we lived at Trinity in a two-bedroom residence director apartment. Surrounded by college students on nearly every side, sleep came hard to my sweet boys. Only 19 months apart, we had two babies in that small room and while they learned well to sleep in the chaos of college, it was the chatter and play they shared with one another that interrupted sleep the most.

Whether Noah was teaching Benjamin to talk or Benjamin was playing peek-a-boo over the side of the crib, sleep was not always timely for my boys. Mark and I intentionally made some space for this raucous-relationship-building, but the time came when bedtime was bedtime and nap time was nap time and the time for brotherly banter had passed.

Looking for a creative way to separate the boys for sleep, Mark and I decided to lure Noah out of his own room with a treat. Keep in mind, he was less than two and easily swayed. Using our bed to nap him in a location further than arm's reach from his sweet baby brother seemed the perfect solution. We put pillows in a circle in the middle of our queen sized bed, draped a blanket over the circle and told Noah he could take a nap in "the nest", if he would like.

The draw of sleeping like a baby bird in the softest of circles worked like a charm. Off he would toddle into our room and happily climb into our bed, drifting quickly to sleep surrounded on all sides. Benjamin being less likely to sleep at all waited years before "the nest" offer came his way, too.

We did not plan on renaming our bed and we did not know what a privilege it would become but somewhere along the way, the name stuck. To have a chance to sleep "in the nest" was the greatest of opportunities and one that all four kids came to understand as something nearly sacred in our home. Before long, it was not just the bed that was called "the nest", but the whole room itself.

Because language we use often is rarely listened to deeply, we really didn't know that the name had become permanent or that we had come to use it with the same regularity as "stove" or "bathtub" until we accidentally mentioned it outside of family ties. We we were asked, "What's the nest?". And then, we heard it differently and realized that something that once had a function became a word that was a part of us... a reminder to us of an earlier time that kept a foot-hold in today.

In having a bed that holds warm memories for our children, our reality is that on occasion it is shared. We were told, as young parents, to never allow a child to sleep with you in your bed. We were told, as young parents, that a child who is allowed to sleep with their parents will never, ever sleep alone. But, Mark and I long ago decided that we would not parent out of fear. Our decisions will not be based in what we are afraid might come someday. No, our decisions, our choices as parents will be based instead on what we feel is right for our children. So, when we brought our babies home, they came to bed with us. When they were very young, we gently transitioned them to their cribs over time. When they woke up frightened or lonely or sad, we welcomed them happily back. They know where we are and we know they will come our way if they feel the need.

Most nights, Mark and I have the bed to ourselves but when someone wanders in, I seek some perspective on our over-crowded bed. A few nights ago, one of the boys came to sleep with us in the middle of the night. I woke to find his head inches from my face. Laying in the dark, I could remember when the length of him reached from my shoulders to my waist. I remembered nursing him to sleep one early morning and looking at all his baby hair... seeing white blond everywhere except one or two brown hairs on the very top of his sweet head. I remembered sleeping with him on my chest, nearly upright, as he struggled with an ear infection. It was night and in the darkness, the whole of his life circled around me. Soft and warm, cozy and whole, I was cradled in a nest of memories of my boy.

These moments, even in the night, offer me a perspective that can be lost in the shuffle from day to day. These moments, yes even in the night, help me to see the big picture. And in that picture, I know that I will have years and years of uninterrupted sleep. I know that someday the bed will seem too big and the children will be all gone. I know that someday, lanky legs and humongous shoes will make the sweetness of a baby who fits himself to me an impossible memory, faded and dim. So, for tonight I will take what I can. I will embrace the minutes I have, crowded as they may be, and use them to see the whole of it. My babies are growing up.

So c'mon kiddos! The nest is open and you are welcome. Years of deep sleep lay before me. But, tonight, I will take a crowded bed and a view of you that makes me thankful for where we are--and where we've been.

Blog Rewind: Give Us This Day...

2010-07-28T16:54:00.000-05:00

I didn't know what time it was when Josiah touched my face and said, "Momma, let's bake bread." I knew I had been sleeping but being awakened by his sweet disposition has never bothered me a bit. He climbed into bed beside me, his cold toes waking my warm legs. Every time I opened my eyes and grinned at my sweet boy, he was smiling right back at me, waiting for me to wake.

"Momma, can we please bake bread? I want to bake bread. Can we please get up and bake?"

I put my feet on the floor and fumbled for my glasses. He was eager to get started and took my hand to gently pull me forward. We were in the kitchen, bowl on the counter, before I checked the clock. It was 6:15. AM. Seriously.

What to do? By then I was up and the beaming boy by my side was half in the fridge, half out, searching for yeast. I pulled out recipes and we began. The house was quiet and the smell of dough filled the air. It has been unusually cool this week and all the windows stood open allowing us to listen to the birds outside while we mixed milk and yeast and sugar and flour. We chatted in whispers about baking and bread and what we would do with the dough. Josiah pulled out the cinnamon sugar and decided one loaf would be sweet and one would be plain. By the time we had set the dough to rise, Noah rolled down the stairs with a smile and hug. He wanted to help...

The zucchini in our garden had finally started to grow and there were three zukes sitting on the island. I sent Noah on a hunt for other ingredients and we got ready to make zucchini bread for the family. With everything gathered, I put a bowl in front of Josiah and another in front of Noah and we decide to quadruple the recipe. Each boy would mix a double batch. A pinch of cinnamon, a bit of pineapple, grated zucchini... and lots of easy chatter and in no time at all, we had a bunch of batter ready to bake.

When it was all said and done, we had a loaf of white bread, a loaf of cinnamon bread, 5 loaves of zuke bread, 24 mini zuke muffins and 12 full sized muffins of the same. The house smelled like heaven and as the pile of baked goods on the island grew, in wandered our family, now awake, to start the day with something good and warm.

As I worked in the garden later that morning, one thing ran through my head again and again. "Give us this day, our daily bread. Give us this day, our daily bread. Give us this day, our daily bread."

And He did. Can you see? All that we needed... God gave freely and simply. Time with my children. Their voices in my ears. A project shared together... and with others as well. And bread. Bread for today. Bread that satisfies our bellies for now. Bread that fills our hearts for now... and maybe for some time to come.

I didn't know what time it was when Josiah touched my face. I could have checked the clock. I could have said no. I could have slept in. How hungry I would have been.

Zucchini Bread

3 eggs, beaten

2 cups white sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup vegetable oil

2 cups grated zucchini

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup chopped pecans

1 cup crushed pineapple, drained

I add all ingredients except the zuke and pineapple. Mix well, then add the zuke and pinapple last. I cut the oil in half, replacing with homemade (no sugar added) applesauce. You could easily cut the sugar down, or replace with a more natural version. We have toyed with honey, brown sugar or turbinado. I add ground flax seeds as well (likely a titch under a cup per recipe). I also sometimes add wheat germ. Bake in loaf pans for about an hour at 350 degrees.

Garage Sale and Blue's Clues and What I Get to Keep

2010-07-07T10:00:00.004-05:00

I love a good garage sale. I don't go out looking for them nearly enough but love the idea of finding something needed at a good price. This week, I am learning something... I needed to respect those folks who are selling their things a lot more than I have. Because it can be hard. To let go.

At least that's how it is for me.

On Friday, I am joining my best friend's sale and have spent the better part of a week pulling out old things to offer. We have a lot of old things because I am just not very good at this at all. For me, it almost feels like the memories are tied into the fabric of the tiny, little clothes my sweet little ones wore. Running my hand across the fuzzy jammies, eyelet laced dresses and small sweater vests brings back a rush of scenes of mommy-hood that makes me catch my breath.

The first box we opened was topped with matching blue jammies, size 2t and 12 months. Noah and Benjamin wore these long ago and I immediately remembered watching them walk down a long hall, hand in hand, with my best friend's dad. Tears welled in my eyes as I reached for the footie pjs and I very nearly gave up on the idea of the garage sale altogether. If I keep the clothes, I keep the memories... Right? Hmmm....

I decided to keep going. For hours, Mark and I pulled out little clothes from boxes stored long ago. We smiled secret smiles at each other and remembered life with four little ones... special outings, favorite shirts, outfits over-worn and some still with tags. It was gut-wrenching and happy and nostalgic and... hard.

I came across a Blues Clues shirt then... a size 3t. Both of the older boys wore it and loved it so much. Blues Clues was one of the first shows they ever got to watch... with Steve, of course. Not Joe. Mark got a little twinkle in his eye then... an idea coming to play.

"Hey Benjamin, wanna make your momma cry?" he said, smiling.

Benjamin looked curious.

Mark continued, "Put this shirt on!" and then threw the shirt toward my second-born.

Benjamin loves a challenge and without even taking off the shirt he was currently wearing, started to pour his skinny 11 year old self into the Blue's Clues shirt. With it finally on, he smiled in my direction... white shirt over grey... Blue being tugged across his rib cage and the bottom of the shirt settling just inches below his armpits.

It's true. I almost cried. The visual reminder of how much he had grown was honestly too much. The goofy blue dog smiling simply as he sat on my boy's torso. The older look shining from Benjamin's eyes as the straight-forward, easy-to-understand puppy looked on. I couldn't take my eyes off him. I couldn't look away. How did we get to this place? How did my kids get so very old?

Mark was giggling and said out loud, "Be careful Benjamin, a picture of this is going to end up on Momma's blog!"

The realization that this really could happen hit Benjamin and I together. Quick as I could I glanced for a camera, my phone, anything to snap a shot! In Benjamin's horror, he began to fight the little shirt and suddenly realized he was trapped. Trapped in a tiny tee.

The sight was then so funny... and my hunt for a camera forgotten. Benjamin was beginning to be frenzied... afraid that this scene might be shared outside the family and he pulled and he pushed and he got red-in-the-face. And, I was laughing. Laughing at the ridiculousness of it all... laughing at his worry... laughing at the sight of a tween in a Nick Jr. shirt.

"Oh Buddy, I think you will graduate from college in that shirt!" I laughed.

Finally, he freed an arm. The shirt came over the top of his curly locks and he shook it off the other side. I picked it up and looked at it... touched the embroidered Blue and folded it up for sale.

A couple of weeks ago, we went as a family to watch Toy Story 3. I cried like a baby through the entire end and felt a wealth of rich emotions for the loss of Andy's boyhood, for the blessing bestowed on Bonnie, for the life well-lived by a box of beautiful toys. Ahh but that look on Bonnie's face... the wonder and excitement at the thrill of brand new toys motivates me today.

Because the memories are mine. And they are not stored up in that shirt. Or the riding toy. Or the excer-saucer or the high chair or the blocks... The memories are mine. And allowing all these things to bless the life of some little one I don't yet know is not a loss... it is a passing on of all that is good. It is offering of what we loved to someone who will love it, too.

I love a good garage sale. This week, it is my babies' things that will be offered up...a good deal for another family to find what we so loved... and take it home and love it, too. I can let it go... because the memories are mine to keep.

And they are sweet.

Blessings on your day.

Simple Woman's Daybook--July 6, 2010

2010-07-06T11:30:00.003-05:00

If you blog, you can do this, too. C'mon, you can do it! Join in the fun!

Outside my window...It is hot and sunny today... yellow, summer light brightening my backyard... love it. : )

I am thinking... about She Speaks. Whatever bits of time I have to write this month will likely be spent on polishing the book proposal and sample chapters for the Stick book. Publisher meetings are upcoming and I am grateful for the opportunity to pitch my book.

I am thankful for... calmer days. Now that baseball has ended, we have time to be home together, my babies and I. It is a good thing...

From the kitchen... grilled, barbecue chicken, grilled potato slices with olive oil and rosemary, grilled pineapple? Thinking about it.

I am wearing...black capris and a grey t-shirt. Bare feet... broken toe. Bleh.

I am creating... my book! So glad to have a deadline... no time to waffle anymore! Gotta get it done! Gotta get a publisher! Dreaming of the next books... which is CRAZY but feels really good.

I am dreaming... about being in a better place financially. Less worry, less stress. We do not need much but I am so weary of our current situation. We are selling stuff at a garage sale this week and I am hoping to make a bit of money to set aside for tuition in the fall... How I love my kids' school.

I am going... to tag items for the garage sale and make a plan for dinner. Got floors cleaned already today, met a friend for coffee and putzed on chores... still a lot of day left.

I am reading... and re-reading chapters of my book. Trying to edit... not my gift. I am going over the book proposal and getting ready to read the direction given for several of the sectionals I will attend at She Speaks. My head is full.

I am hoping... for a book contract. Praying for a book contract. Wishing. Working. Striving.

I am hearing... Lego blocks hitting together as someone digs in the bin... pages turning on the book Josiah is reading while his feet rest on one side of a giant ball and mine are on the other... the voices of my children talking together while they play in our quiet house. It is a peaceful morning...

Around the house... Some rooms are clean... laundry needs to be done.... a watermelon is waiting to be wedged.

One of my favorite things... hope. Choosing to focus on the hopeful today.

A few plans for the rest of the week...Work for the garage sale, stay ahead on cooking, spend time doing devotions with my kiddos, water the garden, work on the book, work on the book, work on the book... Your prayers are valued.

Blessings on your day!

Looking for more like this? http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Juggling

2010-07-01T14:06:00.004-05:00

It's a hard thing to juggle, I gotta say. And sometimes, the balls all fall to the ground. Maybe that's okay.

The kids have been home for summer break for just about a month. The days vary from long and lazy to chaotic and crazy. The whole of it feels like a juggling act... the kids, the house, the writing, the blog, the million things that must be done at any given moment. Sometimes, something has to give. Ever feel that way?

For me, it has been the blog.

I would apologize... but I think you understand. With four kids in the house, it is hard to hear my thoughts, hard to find time to write, hard to steal off to an unoccupied room for long enough to write something readable. So, I had to let that ball fall...

And then there is the thinking it through... I feel inundated by the changes I see happening to my family and to process it well enough to share it with you seems out of reach for now. I am trying to understand what it looks like to: parent a teenager, find my role is in the life of my tween and go slow enough, each and every day, to gently meet the needs of my littlest ones. And it's a lot.

I was never really all that good at juggling anyway.

Yet, there is so much I want to share... so many things I am eager to write about...

Like:

1. Stopping to look at and listen to my children, even when they don't know I am there. I am finding this humbling and empowering, all at once...

2. Watching my older boys run off to camp... what I learned while they were away... and what I hope they learned, too.

3. Remembering what younger children need... and feeling horribly guilty that mine don't get it nearly enough.

4. Wondering at the summer days... the slow and sleepy pace of day upon day and night upon night and all that it holds and all that I hope for it.... hmmm... I am getting away from myself.

For now, I am so busy doing it all that it feels nearly impossible to write it all down. So, when the schedule clears and I have a bit more time, I think you might be sick of all I have to share! For now, I am here like you, juggling and watching ball after ball hit the ground. I am remembering that maybe letting it fall might be easier than fighting gravity.

Because, from where I sit, the view is sweet and I want to soak it up... even with balls at my feet.

Blessings on your day.

It Mattered Then and Matters Still

2010-06-16T13:45:00.004-05:00

This morning, I dropped my kiddos off at VBS and headed to my friend Emily's house for a cup of coffee and some adult conversation. Emily is in the midst of planning for a move so we settled in, boxes around and baby asleep, to talk and reconnect.

Having time to spend with her always feels like such a treat. For so many years, I have been busy with babies and my moments of free time are hard to find. Now that my kids are older, Emily is beginning this trek I have known and loved so well. It has been so fun for me to hear her talk about life with her little man... born mid-March and happy as a clam. I have loved watching her grow from a hard-working student (I met her first during our years as residence directors.) to a faith-filled woman to a loving mom. The person she is just makes me smile.

This morning, we talked about life with our children and I heard again what I sometimes forget... that we have to slow down, we have to be still, we have to pay attention to what is before us today. Being reminded of these truths by a sweet, young mom was helpful to me today.

Emily talked about rocking her baby, about watching him sleep, about loving the way he felt in her arms. She reflected, wisely, that in only a few weeks, he will be so busy that these slow, snuggly days will quickly come to pass.

As I listened to hear talk, I remembered how it felt... being tired and weary by constant demands... thinking through each momma move and feeling the decisions to be of utmost importance... wanting so badly to do my best to love my child and give him the life we hoped he would have. As I listened to her talk, I remembered those hours of rocking and nursing and watching my baby. I remembered knowing their little heads so well that each new hair was noticed (my boys had very little!) and each small cry could be identified. I remembered holding them, cuddling them, rocking and rocking and rocking and rocking... hoping that each minute spent in that well-used chair was somehow pouring into their little souls, "Momma loves you. Momma loves you. Momma loves you..." Even when I was tired, even when there was laundry still to be done, I know now that those minutes were worth it.

My life today is different. We run from baseball game to baseball game and spend time thinking through the importance of guidance that can steer my teen away from life-changing mistakes. We encourage good grades, seek meaningful involvement and pray for our kids to grow in their faith. Those sleepy hours in my rocking chair seem a lifetime away... except, you know, when they don't.

Because sometimes, I still sit there and sometimes they come by and sometimes even the arms and legs of a gangly teen will awkwardly drape over mine and I will rock and rock for the minute it lasts and love the feel of his weight on my lap. And sometimes I can tell that my subliminal message to all four of my sweet kids is still running around in their brains, banging against their hearts, drawing them close to me even as they grow up. I can tell when they seek me out to smooth some crumbled feeling. I can tell when they stand real close and drop a head onto my waiting shoulder. I can tell when their arms wrap around my waist and they pull in tight and I squeeze back and marvel that they are so tall. Momma loves you. Momma loves you. Momma loves you.

Being with Emily was good today. It really always is. She helped me remember a different time... different but not-at-all-less. She helped me remember that it mattered and matters still today. That I love them. That I sit with them. That we do this life here together each and every day.

And when I see my friend snuggle her baby, I do miss it a lot. But, when I catch the eye of my 13 year old from across a crowded room, and he smiles and winks and looks away... the feeling for me is so similar that I really don't wish to go back. Because it's still sweet and it's still good and the message is still getting in. He is still my baby and I am still his momma and what we are building is clear before my eyes.

And even when I miss those warm baby days, I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.

Blessings on your day.

Simple Woman's Daybook--June 15, 2010

2010-06-15T11:12:00.003-05:00

If you blog, you can do this, too. C'mon, you can do it! Join in the fun!

Outside my window...It is cloudy again. We have had so much rain lately. Every now and then we get a little peek of sun... but mainly it is gloomy out there.

I am thinking... about the day ahead... the things I am hoping to teach my kids this week. I am looking forward to finding time to focus on some Bible lessons that I want to experience with them. Struggling with feeling a little crabby today, though. The morning did not go as I had hoped and a bad start is no fun.

I am thankful for... quiet... a little here and there. A chance to breathe... a chance to dream about what we can do together this summer.

From the kitchen... If you can cook it on a grill, I am doing it this week. Love the grill! Have you tried bacon wrapped asparagus?? Oh my goodness! Amazing!

I am wearing... black capris, a black tank top and a white blouse.

I am creating... my book. Finally feel like I am getting somewhere. It is slow going but it is at least going. I want the proposal and chapters done by the end of this month. I will pitch it to a publisher at the end of next month. Prayers are welcome...

I am dreaming... about being in a better place financially. Less worry, less stress. We do not need much but I am so weary of our current situation.

I am going... to help in the nursery for VBS on Thursday... going out with friends for coffee on Friday morning. Cannot wait. : )

I am reading... and re-reading chapters of my book. Trying to edit... not my gift. While I write this one, I am dreaming of the next... excited for what it could be, too. Ooops, my dreams are getting away from me! : )

I am hoping... for a book contract. Praying for a book contract. Wishing. Working. Striving.

I am hearing... the fan in the dining room. The wind outside. The kids downstairs.

Around the house... I can tell the kids are home for summer... little things left behind in every single spot I see.

One of my favorite things... slow, patient days with a calm, patient momma. Not doing very well on this front today. Breathing deeply and trying to regroup.

A few plans for the rest of the week...finish the summer schedule, learn Outlook, finish messing with this crazy (new) phone, go out for coffee with friends.
What about you? : )

Blessings on your day!

Looking for more like this? http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Who Knew?

2010-06-10T10:41:00.004-05:00

I haven't blogged about food lately... time to make that right!

We have been a charcoal grill family from the beginning. Suited us. Easy, authentic, flavorful. But over the years, I have watched friends fall in love with their gas grills... and use them year round. I was intrigued. As our family grew, the long warm up time and short cooking time of charcoal grilling became really inconvenient. As I became less content with this method, our very old grill began to fall apart. Piece by piece. Sometimes, this is not a bad thing.

With a little budgeting and some HUGE sales, we finally bit the bullet and bought a gas grill. For what we were spending in charcoal, we could easily do a trade off and quickly offset the cost of the grill. But, then I had to learn.... beyond burgers and dogs, what could I cook?

I quickly found that grilling with gas is very different than grilling with charcoal. As someone who loves to cook and does okay with most foods, it was an awful discovery to find that 25.00 worth of ribs had turned to rocks after 5 quick minutes, unattended. I knew that could not happen again so I needed to do better and learn more.

Since then, I have conquered ribs (Amazing!) and we have used our grill to cook up brats and dogs. Yesterday, I wanted to try something new. Pork chops were on sale at our local grocery, along with fresh asparagus. The wheels in my head started turning... What if I wrapped the asparagus in bacon and grilled that? What if I put it on the warming shelf and then let the still-cooking bacon drip onto my grilling chops? What if I dropped a loaf of store-bought garlic bread onto the grill, as well?

The results were incredible! A whole meal cooked in 10 quick minutes and unbelievably tasty! The kids gobbled up the grilled asparagus... those wrapped and those unwrapped. And I had no mess to clean up afterward.

Turns out grilling is the way to go! Who knew?

Last night, I posted a grilling question on my Facebook page and had lots of folks talk about grilling fruit. Especially pineapple! That, I am going to have to try. What about you? What do you just love to grill? What has worked well for your family? Do you have any tips or ideas for family-friendly barbecued fare?

Tonight, I am going to try Italian sausage... What about you?

Blessings on your day.

Journey of the Ordinary

2010-06-09T09:34:00.011-05:00

Some days are full of ordinary moments that build upon one another until getting up in the morning quietly becomes going to bed at night. Summer days are full of these moments of beautiful normalcy and I just love watching my children move from task to task, activity to activity....

Here is a glimpse into how our day began today...

7:00 Benjamin and I wake up and spend some time hanging out together.

8:00 Josiah wakes up and comes to spend time with Benjamin and I.

8:45 Noah and Elizabeth wake up and look for breakfast. We all eat.

9:00 All the kids go out to the garden to harvest strawberries for snacks today.

9:30 I prepare the strawberries while Josiah and EB go to play with Legos and Noah and
Benjamin go out for a run with the dog. They are training for fall soccer.

10:00 We gather together for devotions. I am reading to them from the Jesus Storybook.

10:30 Noah comes up to write his blog post for today. (See "Life at the Lamp Post"below.)
The rest of the kids play Legos again and I can hear them cracking each other up
downstairs.

11:00 Elizabeth asks if she can work on the Leapster for a few minutes and then pops in her
Ni Hao Kai Lan cartridge and starts working on some age appropriate learning games. I
love that this game lets her connect with some part of her Chinese heritage.

11:15 Benjamin comes up from downstairs, scans the family room, finds a book wedged under a
side table and throws himself down to read a while. Noah is blogging, still. What he is
writing, makes me smile. It also, however, reminds me to be careful with what I teach...
they soak it up like sponges.

11:30 Noah is done blogging and I go to check it for editing mistakes. I send all the kids out
front to clean up the yard and porch, both of which need some attention.

11:45 Noah's blog is posted and I go outside to help with the yard. They have a good start but
need some help. Once we finish, we move on to cleaning the camper.

12:00 I think it is lunch time but the kids think differently. They squeal for sprinkler time and I
tell them okay so off they go to run and scream and get wet in the yard. I love that they
want to do this... I love listening to them playing together... I just love the whole of it.

So, soon we will have lunch and then we will do chores. The kids are assigned areas in the house to straighten up. They work in pairs to get the job done and then I check it, just to be sure. Having their help makes a huge difference to me because once they straighten an area, I can clean it and working together like this saves so much time.

After lunch and chores, we will sit down together and I will read to them for a while. The book I picked up from Amazon with Read-Alouds inside has been great for us, so far. Monday, we read The Ugly Duckling. Today, we will read a selection from the Odyssey.

After all that? Who knows? Bikes? Baseball? Books? There is enough to do in our little corner of the world to keep my kids busy today... and hopefully tomorrow, too. Removing the word "bored" from their vocabulary was helpful... not because I don't want to hear it but because it changed how they look at their day. They seek less to be entertained and more to discover. On this absolutely ordinary day, that is a journey I want to take with them.

They are off to build a blanket fort! Gotta love a happy mess!

Blessings on your day!

Finding Her Way and Feeding the Dog

2010-06-08T10:22:00.009-05:00

Sometimes I forget what works, what's important, in raising kids. This week, on a small scale, I am trying to remember a bit.

Several months ago, when assigning Stick Chores (search Sticks in the right hand search box for more information on the Sticks Program... or book me to speak!) it was Elizabeth's turn to feed the dogs for the week. Each morning, she was taught to get up and give both dogs food and water... and to be sure that it was done before she ate breakfast. Our hope was that she would remember more easily if feeding them was tied to feeding herself.

At 6 years old, my spunky and spirited little girl is really pretty responsible. She knows what needs to get done in a day and this easy chore should have been no problem. Except... it was. Day after day, as we sat down to dinner, we would find the dogs had not been fed. Elizabeth would leave the dinner table (not good for a slow eater) and go off to feed them, under the steely glare of her three brothers who do not want our family pets slighted.

At the end of the week, I told Elizabeth she would keep the job another week. We explained that taking care of our sweet dogs is an important task that helps the dogs to understand how much she loves them. It is love in action, not in word. Unfortunately, the second week did not go better than the first. So the job was given to her again. And again. And again.

Truth be told though, it was our fault. We said, "Feed the dogs, then eat breakfast." and yet, if she didn't do that, there was no consequence to help her remember. The boys were growing increasingly frustrated and I was, too. But, our crazy schedule kept me so distracted that our little princess was getting away with a pretty bad habit. With soccer and school and gymnastics and track and the musical and the play and baseball and... I was working so hard to keep my head above water and these details were just falling by the wayside. Some days are like that... I wish it wasn't true but it is.

Noah, who is very close to our golden doodle, Lexie, was especially frustrated. He complained again and again that they always had to feed the dog and never forgot (this is true...) and we didn't let them slack off like this. The older boys started pet chores at ages 2 and 3 so I could see that this felt unfair to them. I finally told him that summer was coming and that I would be able to really focus on this issue at that time. My answer didn't help his frustration and actually increased mine.

Last week, my kids got out of school and we have spent the past few days regrouping. We are sleeping in a bit and relaxing and playing and taking care of things that had been set aside for too long. Including this chore... this dog-feeding chore... that needed my attention badly. Because sometimes I forget what is important about parenting... sometimes I need to remember.

Yesterday, my kids had toast or cereal for breakfast while I cut up a beautiful watermelon to put out on the island. I was looking for natural consequences to help with correcting this pet chore. Elizabeth ate breakfast and then asked for a slice of watermelon.

"Did you feed the dogs?" I asked.

"Um, no." she replied.

I just looked at her and she turned to do her chore. Once both dogs had eaten and the chore was done, she asked again.

"Can I have a slice of watermelon now?"

"Elizabeth," I responded calmly, "this chore is important. It is HOW the dogs know you love them. You are paying attention to their needs and their wants and it matters. You made them wait. You will need to wait for watermelon."

Her head dropped. Her shoulders drooped and she walked out of the kitchen sans fruit.

This morning, Elizabeth got up and got dressed. She played with her brothers while I made french toast and sausage for breakfast. When we gathered to pray, I had put out some juice and started to get the plates. I put the princess plate aside and waited.

"Can we start?" she asked excitedly.

I looked at her and said waited.

"Where is my princess plate?" she continued.

I looked at her.

The boys grabbed a plate and started to serve themselves and without another word, Elizabeth went to feed the dogs. I know she knows what to do. I know she struggles with clear expectations. I know. But, the truth is I am her momma. The truth is that I do her no favors by feeding those dogs myself. The truth is she needs me to hold her to a higher standard and expect from her what I know is hidden underneath. It is my job... and I have to do it even when it is a tiny matter. Because learning to be responsible and caring with pets will be a lesson that transfers over to many other places. And, because knowing there is a limit you must obey is important for anyone, child or adult.

I am remembering things about parenting that have fallen by the wayside. It isn't that I didn't know that... it's just that life gets away from me sometimes. And when it does, because it will, it doesn't mean all is lost. It doesn't mean my daughter is naughty or irresponsible or anything like that at all. It means I am needed. It means that my job is still going. And even when I take my eye off the ball for a while, it is never too late to start again, not for me and not for you. We might get discouraged. We might feel overwhelmed. But it is good for us to remember that being consistent in what we expect goes a very long way in the life of a child.

We aren't there yet. Elizabeth is learning... and truly not done. We may visit this again tomorrow. It is a small thing in a very big life but a lesson that needs to be learned. And after all this teaching, as I sit here writing this blog, a six year old girl is playing downstairs with her brothers... and she is smiling. She knows she did the right thing and that choice always feels right. We will see where that takes us tomorrow but I know this: I am not giving up. Helping my sweetie find her way is an awfully big job that, honestly, makes me smile, too.

Blessings on your day.

The First Day of Summer--So Far, So Good.

2010-06-07T16:20:00.004-05:00

Oh, how I love summer! I really do. After last week's crazy schedule, we are starting today with a much more relaxed tone. I am so grateful.

School got out on Thursday and we spent Friday at the beach and a local pool. The weekend held sports and rain and more work in the garden. But today? A whole new ballgame!

I started the day early so I could go for a walk before Mark left for work and the kiddos got out of bed. I came back and worked a while to set a selection of snacks out on the island to enjoy during the day. They woke up slowly, one at a time. I had time to spend with Benjamin, snuggled a while with Josiah and got a one-armed-hug from my teen as he headed outside to shoot hoops. Elizabeth woke up and played calmly in bed and by 9:00 AM, all were awake.

After a no-frills breakfast, we started with devotions and used a new book that I am really excited about. The kids worked on some memory work and then spent a lot of time playing outside. Having time... open, free, relaxed, unstructured time... is such a gift for us. I am loving it...

So, day one is almost done and dinner has yet to be made. But the dog got a bath and we read a good book and all of us have let the juice of a watermelon run down our arms. We perused the garden, laughed out loud and worked on some goals for the summer. One of the goals I have set is to help the kids work on writing skills. To keep this interesting, they will be blogging a few times a week. They have their very own blog (link at the bottom of this page--Life at the Lamp Post) and will do their own editing and writing and posting, with my overview for safety more than content. Feel free to check it out!

If you have an idea about how to make summer good for your kids and for you, I would love to hear about it. We have a lot of days off in front of us and this is just the start. What do you do to help the days go well? What ideas work for you? I know for myself, I am hoping for a long string of good days, making memories with my four sweet kids. Possible? Some days. Today? Exactly what I hoped to find...

Blessings on your day!

The Last Day of School...

2010-06-03T18:57:00.004-05:00

My head is full... my words, jumbled. Here is how we started this day. Off to go to the last day of school... They love it. They really do. (I do, too.)

By noon, us mommas stood outside and waited and out they came... backpacks full and teary eyes. My little guy is in orange... with his buddy who is wearing orange, too.

Sometimes, even in the midst of it all, you have to take a second to think... even when you are older... even when you're 13. Because it is a lot to end the year... a lot to think about and a lot to feel.

Then, we went to the park... a grand distraction that works so well! And they played and laughed and jumped and ran and ate junky food while the sun fell on their sweet, little faces. Oh... and there were sandcastles... well sort of.

It's not that we wanted to leave... just that the time had come. So out we walked, ready for what comes next, ready for what summer brings. Because it is good and sweet and needed and right. And our friends will be there, too...

Blessings on your day.

Blog Rewind: The Last Day

2010-06-02T12:37:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is the last day of school for my kids. Below is the blog I wrote last year about this day and how we mark it each year. Enjoy!

Years ago, when I was working at Trinity, I learned huge lessons about the importance of closure from a resident assistant who was working with me at the time. Katie was especially gifted at nurturing relationships and in her professional and private life, she always made sure to make both beginnings and endings in special ways. While I had known, in my head, how crucial it is to find ways to offer closure at appropriate times, Katie taught me how that LOOKED as she lived it out before me. This has had an impact on my life as a parent that I did not expect.

Our children attend a nearby Christian school and they adore the time they spend there. Every year, they learn so much and show such enthusiasm for these new bits of knowledge. The teachers are passionate about their work and exceedingly loving in how they treat their students. The school overall does a phenomenal job of building community and connecting students K-8 in ways that brings out the best in each child. It is exactly the educational experience I had envisioned for my children and I am so grateful that they are able to attend this school. But, the end of the year is always bittersweet. While they eagerly anticipate the free and relaxing days of summer, knowing that they will walk out of their classrooms and away from their beloved teachers for the last time brings on a sadness that is saved specifically for year-end. Yes, less time with friends is a part of this equation but it is the loss of a year well-spent that makes my children sad.

So, seeing this trend from the beginning of their school years, we have established traditions that help to take the edge off the end. Year after year, we conclude our year with carefully chosen activities that offer to them (and to me) Katie's closure.

Weeks before the school year ends, we begin to talk about making the most of our final days. We talk about ending well, working and playing hard. We try to be extra aware of academic issues, spending more time studying for tests and completing projects. In our house, the end of the year is so full, so busy, that it would be easy to let all of this slide. Paying extra attention helps a lot as the final grades are recorded and the days wind down.

The night before the school year ends, I sit with each of my kids and we talk about what they are thankful for in school. We recall the amazing experiences they shared with classmates and the special gifts that each of their teachers offered to them. And then, with all this fresh in their heads, we write thank you letters. I encourage them to do this on their own. The words and memories are theirs and, for us, it has proven to be an important experience to take a minute to not only be grateful but to express that gratitude to someone with whom they have shared this year. (And...this is top secret... after my sweet babies have all gone to bed, Mark scans these precious words into our computer leaving us with a legacy of thankfulness that is heartwarming to review.)

On the last day of school, my children choose an outfit that feels right to them. The process is much like choosing what to wear on the first day of school. For some, it feels right to dress up a bit... for others it makes more sense to choose what is comfortable and comforting to them. Then, after we pray together and they leave on the bus, I begin a lot of behind-the-scenes running and errands to help that day be all that it needs to be.

First, I run to buy flowers. It is our tradition to give each teacher a bouquet of flowers or a hanging basket as part of our thank you to them. Sometimes, we have also prepared baked goods to give them as well. (This year we packed chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies we made the day before.) It is my goal to be at school, flowers in tow, by 10:00 for the first recess of the day. With the thank you notes from the children, the baked goods and the flowers, I go from classroom to classroom giving these to the boys to give to their teachers. While I am there, I take a picture of each child with their teacher and then leave them to finish their day.

Once this is done, I run to McDonald's to buy lunch for the kids. I pack these into the van and then head back to school. Though my children ride the bus, it has been important to them to see me outside when they come out on the very last day. So there I stand, hugging my sad boys, as they say good-bye to what will always be an important time in their young lives. And then, they get on the bus for one last ride. With teachers waving from the sidewalk and parking lot and many young arms waving from bus windows, it all comes to an end. The tears do not belong to the children alone. These amazing teachers who have loved their students so well are often misty, too. It is a bittersweet moment for all... reluctantly turning from the blessing of the school year to face full on summer coming.

Now perhaps you find yourself wondering about my being at school while the bus runs my babies on home... I annually find myself wondering about this, as well! Hoping for a time-warp, I hurry to my van to beat the bus to our house. (Believe it or not, this usually works!) I then wait in my driveway til they all come home and as they step off the bus, Elizabeth and cheerfully yell "Happy summer!!". Dumping all our stuff in the house, we quickly load into the van to head off to the ultimate distraction from all things sad, a trip to the park to have lunch with friends from school!

By now, the McDonald's bought much earlier has grown a little cold but in the last 8 years, I have yet to have one complaint. Arriving at the park, the kids run off to sit at picnic tables with those to whom they have just said good-bye. Eating quickly, they then run and scream and laugh and play at a park we reserve just for this. The moms sit together and dream of days with later starts and worry a bit about filling endless days with meaningful experiences.

After a couple of hours, everyone exhausted, we pack it up to head home to relax. The intensity of emotion has waned by then and the kids are drained but content. Traditions behind us, summer begins. And it is full and it is good and we are ready.

Keep reading... the word we ban and some of our plans are coming up next...

Blessings on your day!

The Necessary Labor of May

2010-05-26T08:17:00.003-05:00

It's getting crazy around here. I am trying to find and maintain some type of balance, but the reality is... it's nuts!

The end of the year has a pregnancy feel to it sometimes... a feeling that we must get so terribly uncomfortable before we birth this brand new thing. Feels that way today. Mark is staying home today to help with some big projects (the garden, specifically) and offered to take the children to school. They left just moments ago. Mark out first and the chaotic cacophony trailing behind him.

This morning, the kids slept late, overtired from attending last night's soccer game. They wandered sleepily from room to room, getting ready for their day in an unorganized way. It looked like this:

-Benjamin cannot find his over-due library book and, though he is not dressed, is sure that is his highest priority for the day. (It's not.) He has to say the Gettysburg address today so he is practicing in his best Abe Lincoln, unsure about what it all means. Mark is talking to him from the kitchen about the depth of the speech while Benjamin scratches his head and works hard to try to make it matter to him...

-Noah has another after school party. Yesterday he celebrated the end of the play. Tonight, the end of track. He needs a form we have never seen and money of an undetermined amount. I email the teacher and pull muffins from the oven. Mark and I wonder if either of us have any cash to send with him for the party payment.

-Josiah has taken off at least three outfits, leaving the clothes on in the middle of the family room floor. He is now wearing his 13 year-old brother's ill-fitting shorts and searching for his backpack. ( I am searching for the family room floor. )

-Elizabeth, slightly lost in the mix this morning, takes 20 minutes to eat a muffin and attempts to leave for school, hair un-brushed and missing shoes. I can see that she is not really awake just yet and wonder what the day will be like for her.

-My house is trashed, my supper swap meals are not made and the yard... oh, the yard... is as unpresentable as it can be. (And did I mention, I have a house-guest? My mom has been here for a while to witness all our nuttiness.)

Yep, it's getting kinda crazy around here.

This brief season of our life has gotten to the place where it is just plain uncomfortable. We are finding ourselves in a spot where every part of my momma self is screaming for a break. I know my kids are tired. I know they need more sleep. I know it is time to wander at farmer's markets and eat fresh fruit and run in the sprinkler and read good books and do that thing that comes up next.

I remember feeling similarly at the end of each of my pregnancies. I remember thinking it had just gotten so uncomfortable. My body was stretched, my mind distracted and I was ready to get past this part and move on to what came next... and I would go through anything to get there.

My kids love school and I love it with them. I love our teachers and am so grateful for all that they offer my children each day. And saying good-bye to them, to the year, is a sad and difficult thing for us all. But, this week feels like labor to me... a necessary working through of details and actions that will bring us to the next big thing. And I don't want to rush it... don't want to wish it away... but I love that I can focus on that spot on the horizon when life will just slow down. When my kids will just be home. When parties and practices and homework and hurry have all just faded away... and we will have arrived at the place that looks so beautiful from here.

Eight more days. Eight more days. Between here and there, we will say sad good-byes and accomplish a lot of work... but in the end, it gets us where we are going.

It's a labor I don't want to miss.

Blessings on your day.

Simple Woman's Daybook--May 25, 2010

2010-05-25T16:20:00.002-05:00

If you blog, you can do this, too. C'mon, you can do it! Join in the fun!

Outside my window... I see hazy, summer skies. We are in the midst of a heat wave here... unusual for May in Chicago. The sky is pale blue and the heat... wow.

I am thinking... the end of school. I am so grateful that my kids attend a school that they deeply love and I deeply trust. They really do an amazing job and the end of the school year always brings mixed feelings. We are ready for the break but the end is sad, as well.

I am thankful for... the holiday weekend upcoming. Baseball games are never played on this weekend and so we have days and days of time together with no where to be. It is a good thing and by the end, our garden will be in, our yard will be ready for summer and we will be thrilled to be outside enjoying it all!

From the kitchen... Last week, I talked about beef stew here... it was a chilly day, then. Not now. I am out of ideas for cool weather food and still don't know what dinner will be. It is just too hot to cook! Ideas?

I am wearing... dark gray capri pants and a pink Old Navy t-shirt with a peace sign on the front. Comfy... not that cool. : ) Did I mention it is HOT?

I am creating... supper swap meals! Can't wait to have new meals to eat in the freezer! Love it! : ) We will swap on Friday...

I am dreaming... about camping... about seeing friends... about plans for summer and what I want my kids to learn. I am dreaming about feeling rested... being purposeful in my writing... accomplishing tasks.

I am going... to get to work on the garden, plan for the summer, get the van in the shop. The next two weeks will be crazy and then it will get peacefully quiet. Looking forward to that...

I am reading... old copies of my Sticks book. I have multiple versions of many chapters... time to reduce that to one good chapter of each and then tweak and improve until I am happy with what is left.

I am hoping... for an amazing summer. Is amazing too much to ask? :)

I am hearing... the air conditioning running, the kids in the sprinkler, the tapping of my fingers on my laptop keys.

Around the house... there is much to be done... and little time with which to attack big projects.

One of my favorite things... quiet days with my family nearby... making the transition from school-year to summer...

A few plans for the rest of the week...get the van in for work (ugh!), straighten the house, cook for supper swap, rototill the garden, prepare for summer lessons, dream about upcoming camping trips!

What about you? : )

Blessings on your day!

Looking for more like this? http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

First Teachers and Words of Thanks

2010-05-24T21:00:00.003-05:00

Two years ago, I sat in an elementary school library gathering information about Kindergarten for Josiah. The information given to me would be used two years in a row... first for my youngest boy and then for my daughter. It had been four years since I had enrolled a child in Kindergarten and I was overwhelmed with a fierce feeling of over-protectiveness for my babies.

The other parents and I listened to general kindergarten information about the program available for children at our school and then we headed off to the kindergarten classrooms. Once I had settled into the tiny chairs at the tiny tables, I listened to the teachers speak. One of them moved me to tears.

If you have heard me speak, you may have heard me talk about that night. One of those good women talked at length about how, we as parents, were not learning more information about who would be our child's first teacher. That job is ours. We were their first teacher when we taught them words, read them books, counted Cheerios... Have you thought of it that way? You, my dear friend, are your child's first teacher. Right now. Today. All our school choices are important... but none more important than the one to look into the faces of those we love best and teach them colors, talk about the world around us, number the cups on the table and help them discover the wonder of reading.

I love that work. I sometimes wish I had more energy for it... but I do really, really love it. I love watching them discover something new and beautiful and helpful and amazing. I love watching their mouths learn to form words and the words then string into sentences and sentences to conversations. I love it.

That said, I am so grateful... deeply, humbly grateful... for the teachers who have come alongside our babies and taught them, too. I love the school my children are blessed to attend and cannot believe how hard the teachers work. How selfless they are. How well they enfold my babies into an educational community and motivate them to learn.

The end of the year is hard for me... I so love these wonderful teachers that I hate to say good-bye. So, in our house, we turned it into something else... instead of waving and moving on, I write a little thank you. Wonder what I am thankful for? Tonight, here is what makes me smile...

I am thankful for teachers who:

-feel called to the profession of teaching and live that calling out to the best of their ability. Loving children in response to calling is a beautiful gift that is unlike anything else.

-have a vision for the work that they do and use that vision to motivate children to learn. Making learning fun and purposeful takes endless years of education and turns it into a journey full of amazing discoveries.

-understand that some kids need more than a lesson taught out-loud. Some kids need activity, song, colors, to make the pieces come together. When they are given this, the lessons they learn stick in a permanent place and can be called on for years to come.

-look at each child and see the whole of them... strengths and weaknesses... and try to meet them where they are. Connecting with each child and helping them makes all the difference in the world.

-make things fun and real and silly and good. Because it matters that my child laughs. It matters that they are happy. It matters that they WANT to be there. And when you laugh, my baby laughs. And I smile.

-sometimes teach it twice. Because someone wasn't listening or a bird flew by the window... or because it just didn't make any sense. Your persistence helps to be sure that no one is left behind.

-set the bar higher. And tomorrow, move it higher again. Because I do that, too. I want my kids to know there is something better.... better behavior, higher achievement, improved attitude... and that they can reach for that today. I am so grateful when our teachers do not settle for what might be "okay" or even "normal"... because I love when they see that there might be more.

-squat down, face to face with my babies and throw their arms around them and pull them close and hug them tight and love them. Really love them. I am not worried about my child being touched by their teacher, I am worried about them NOT being touched by their teacher. I know how important that relationship is... and I love to see it right before me.

So, teachers... thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU. Thank you for the hours you work that we never see. Thank you for loving, for responding, for being creative in how you do your work. Thank you for making our school a place my children walk away from, on that last day, in tears. Thank you for loving your students and teaching them well and for willingly becoming an honorary member of our little family. Because you did, you know. You have become a part of our story... a name we use with respect and awe... a part of sweet memories that will make us smile for years to come.

It is true, I was their first teacher. But, it's May and the year is almost done and I am feeling a little nostalgic. I have four sweet children who all go to school and spend their days with amazing people who have loved them well. I will miss them soon... but for tonight, I am just thankful.

Where are those note cards? Might be time to write some of this down.

Blessings on your day.

Simple Woman's Daybook--May 18, 2010

2010-05-18T07:05:00.004-05:00

If you blog, you can do this, too. C'mon, you can do it! Join in the fun!

Outside my window... I see the sun! After several gray days, finally it looks more like spring than fall.

I am thinking... about summer... about the week ahead... about how getting through this week gets us just a little bit closer to the open schedule of the season ahead. We are all feeling so ready for a break. These thoughts and feelings are balanced out with loss we feel at the end of the school year, though. How we love our school, our teachers... Saying good-bye is never easy.

I am thankful for... a nice zoo field trip with Elizabeth yesterday... thankful for her hard work at gymnastics and the smile on her face when she does something well. :)

From the kitchen... It's sunny today, but chilly. Beef stew might be in order... freshly baked bread and veggies. I made a menu for the week in order to better make use of my freezer and pantry items. Having a plan and knowing I have what I need on hand is so helpful...

I am wearing... jammies. :) I like to get the daybook post up early so it's the first thing I am doing today. Organizing my thoughts this way, once a week, is a nice way to reflect, too.

I am creating... I am getting very serious about writing this Sticks book. I want it done. I want it published. Such a matter of prayer for me...

I am dreaming... about camping... about seeing friends... about plans for summer and what I want my kids to learn. I am dreaming about feeling rested... being purposeful in my writing... accomplishing tasks.

I am going... to see Noah in the play he has been rehearsing for months! His performances are both Thursday and he is getting excited and nervous. I cannot wait! How cool is it to see your kids challenge themselves to do something new and hard and fun. Proud of my boy...

I am reading... old copies of my Sticks book. I have multiple versions of many chapters... time to reduce that to one good chapter of each and then tweak and improve until I am happy with what is left.

I am hoping... for a better morning today than yesterday. Gosh, mornings can be crazy.

I am hearing... Josiah, in the kitchen, getting his snacks for the day. He is alternating between singing Go Fish's version of Little Drummer Boy ("I play my drum, I pray my drum for the One who saves me!") and then talking to me about Leonardo da Vinci and his efforts to learn to fly. :) The boy makes me smile.

Around the house... laundry... some of it clean. : ) It's a never-ending battle. With four kids we are never done, never caught up. Trying not to be over-whelmed...

One of my favorite things... a peaceful, purposeful morning with my children. Can we find this today?

A few plans for the rest of the week... I must get this Sticks book to a better place... My mom is coming into town to see Noah's play... Making weekend plans to get the garden in... Continue planning for the summer months and the kid's lessons for that time.

What about you? : )

Blessings on your day!

Looking for more like this? http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Blog Rewind: An Old Gray Shirt

2010-05-17T09:03:00.000-05:00

The following blog was originally posted in May 2008 and still holds powerful memories for me today. Enjoy...

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It still surprises me that I cannot predict which days will hold one of those overwhelming "mommy moments" and which will not. After all, I am not a newbie! Having been at this for over 11 years, you would think that I would know when I was going to be faced with something that ties all those years together and sends me adrift on a wave of nostalgia. And, one would certainly never expect an old t-shirt to do that very thing.

Monday, Josiah started the day by reading his preschool calendar to find that it would be paint day. He was thrilled and I was grateful for a reminder to send my two preschoolers out the door dressed in less than their very best. Off we ran to drop them off and I found my head swimming with many responsibilities and expectations for my free two hours.

It went too quickly and maybe I was tired. I didn't see it coming. I picked up Josiah and Elizabeth and began my usual series of questions about their morning away. Did you read any stories? Did you sing songs? Who did you play with today? And then, it came. From behind my seat, Josiah's voice... "Momma, we get to bring home our paint shirts today." Both Josiah and Elizabeth simultaneously flung their well used paint shirts from inside their preschool backpacks.

I glanced in the rear view mirror and saw my two little ones beaming with t-shirts streaming in circles above their little heads. And then, the memories fell on me like rain and not one part of me was not awash in their power.

It was years ago and Noah was only four. I was getting ready to kiss my first-born good-bye as he skipped his yellow jacketed self off to preschool for the very first time. The list had come from the school and I had dutifully collected the expected items, labeled them and sealed them inside zip-lock bags. My baby needed a paint shirt and the teachers had suggested that we use one of mom or dad's old tees. I rifled through my drawers and pulled out an old gray Hanes that I literally never wore. I wrote Noah's name on the inside collar and packed it into a bag for the beginning of his academic career. : )

Fast forward two years. Noah was in first grade and it was time for Benjamin to begin his preschool year. Same list. Same shirt. With a permanent marker, I wrote Benjamin's name in block letters across the hem on the shirt pocket. Tucked in bag, sent to school. A well-used shirt!

Four years later, Josiah started school. I had to think... no, truth be told... I had to SEARCH to find the shirt. When I did it this time, it was from no nostalgic motive but instead from a point of pure economics. I HAD a paint shirt for a preschooler somewhere and did not want to purchase or sacrifice another shirt for this purpose. It took some time... a lot of time... to figure out where an unwearable, paint stained, double labeled shirt might have landed for four long years. Hours into my reconnaissance mission, I found the shirt! With a permanent marker, I covered over Benjamin's name on the pocket (a move I now regret) and wrote Josiah's name, big and bold, diagonally across the belly of the shirt. Off to preschool it went. Josiah found great joy in adding a bit of paint to the shirt each time he used it at preschool.

This year, for the first time ever, I had TWO preschoolers and had to find another seldom used shirt for my daughter to wear. The old gray tee was joined by a pink striped shirt in the ziplock at the school. I have to be honest though and say, the pink shirt looked so... well... ordinary in comparison to the rainbow painted, thoroughly splattered, name emblazoned gray shirt that had been worn for so many preschool projects.

Preschool ends next week. Josiah "graduates" on Wednesday and the school year is wrapping up. A bit at a time, the supplies from the list are making their way back home. So it came to be that my 4 and 5 year old children were spinning shirts above their sweet little heads in the van on Monday afternoon.

When we got home, it all became so clear to me. Josiah is done. You do not need a paint shirt in Kindergarten and there are no boy babies home with me awaiting their turn for a year in our beloved preschool. Yes, Elizabeth will go off to preschool, one more year, but she will take with her the pink shirt she has fully claimed as her own. The gray shirt is done. Done. How can that really be?

We came home and Josiah and Elizabeth went outside to play. I sat in the family room with the shirt in my hands and shook it out to really take it all in. As the shirt unfolded, the characteristic aroma of powdered temperas filled the air around me and I let my hands fall gently across the preschool masterpiece decorating the front. The names were all there... one does not launder a paint shirt often... and I could see Noah's on the collar, Benjamin's on the pocket (though sadly covered over) and Josiah's beneath two years of dried preschool paint. A history of days gone by and a story told in pictures... in markers... in names on a shirt I never wore. I felt it all right then... the days upon days of raising my kids and the overwhelming reality that my boys are all done with preschool. They are growing into students... growing into teens... growing into men.

How can it be that holding a t-shirt in my hands can bring all the little details of a lifetime of parenting into such clear view. Three blonde boys, three shining faces, three yellow jackets, three sets of stories and questions and experiences all held by one discarded gray shirt. How can it be that the past can be so clear and so PRESENT at the same time as the future feels so close?

It still surprises me that I cannot tell when a "mommy moment" will hit me in the deepest part of my very self. I have been at this a long time already... but today I know that I want to be at it for a long, long time to come. I hold this shirt on my lap and get ready to tuck it gently into my cedar chest, knowing fully that these early years have already gone too fast. But the memories we have are GOOD ones and I am grateful to have proof in tempera on an old gray shirt.

Blessings on your day...

Books for Summer!

2010-05-14T09:18:00.007-05:00

I love books. I really do. Our house is full of them... full of bookshelves and stacks of books and sorted books and kids books and chapter books and picture books... and it gets a little messy, but I just love it. My kids have been around books since they were born and all four of them came to love them in their own way.

I talk to parents all the time who say that their kids just don't like books at all. They don't like to read, don't like stories, aren't good at it and would rather do anything else. Sometimes that is true but when you find that a child is not connecting with reading at all, you don't have to assume that is a permanent situation. There might be something you can do to help steer them in another direction.

When Noah was born, we read to him all the time. He was the kind of baby that loved to listen and look and soak it all up. He loved the one on one time with a parent that comes with reading and if you even held up a book to show him, he lit up. We kept a little wagon in the family room with bunches of board books in it and, from the time he could sit up independently, he would dump them out and look at the pictures. Honestly, we didn't make him this way... he came this way and we fostered it.

When Benjamin was born 18 months later, he didn't sit still for a second. Showing him books was an exercise in futility because all he wanted to do was explore. He could not focus, didn't want to turn pages, could not listen and we were stumped. Noah spent a lot of time looking at him, completely confused as to why his little brother wouldn't play along.

I could have given up. We thought about it. We tried to wrap our heads around a kid who didn't like books. And then I had an idea! What if I found books he could explore? What if I bought books that made noises and had flaps and were totally hands on? Would he take the bait?

Did he ever! We started with Pat the Bunny and moved on to every book I could possibly find that had textures, buttons, wheels, pop-ups... And in very short order, Benjamin was sold! Books were fun! Books made noise! Books were something you could play with and touch and experience in lots of different ways.

My older boys are 13 and 11 now and both are always wrapped up in a book. Being boys who love to read has been a benefit to them because so much of school is easier for kids who can take the written word and store it up for later use. But, that is just an aside. What they really love is a story that lights up their imaginations and helps them to see something new in God's amazing world.

Summer is the perfect time for reading and for fostering a love of the act itself. If you have a reluctant reader, this is a great time to look at it in a whole new way. How can you make it fun? What is the stumbling block? Is it hard? Is it boring? Is it work? Knowing what keeps your child from opening a good book can help you find a solution that will allow them open up a new joy in their life. Think it through. What do they need? It is totally fine to meet them where they are and make the act of reading a thoroughly enjoyable activity.

When I was a first grade teacher, I used to make space in our week to spend time reading books for pleasure. During this time, I let my students sit or lay anywhere in the classroom that they liked. If you had peeked into our classroom during a free reading time, you would have seen students laying under their desks with their feet on their chairs, sitting on our register while leaning on the windows, curled up under tables, laying on the floor outside their lockers with their feet tucked deep inside... and yes, seated happily at their desks. I loved it. They loved it. And they learned reading could be fun and comfortable and about them.

What should they read? Oh my! I could go on forever on this topic (this is actually one of my speaking topics and in that, I share long lists of wonderful books)... but for today, here are some great choices:

Babies: Pat the Bunny, Goodnight Moon, Freight Train, Babies

Toddlers: Anything with a flap. : ) Books by Eric Carle

Preschool: Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, Green Eggs and Ham, The ABC Book, Good Dog, Carl

Elementary: Charlotte's Web, Guess How Much I Love You, Fancy Nancy

Upper Elementary: The Chronicles of Narnia, Guardians of Ga'Hoole, Island of the Blue Dolphins
Middle School: The Hobbit, Shakespeare's Secret, A Wrinkle in Time

High School: Eragon (the first in a series)

Also, if you need help finding really good books, look up books that have won awards like:

Caldecott Winners: Picture books

Newberry Awards: Story (normally chapter books)

Caudill Award Winners: Illinois Award for Outstanding book (chapter books, usually)

Monarch Award: Illinois K-3 level Outstanding Book (usually storybook)

What about reading out loud to your kids? Oh yes! If you can find a few minutes, sit down and do just that! Don't get wrapped up in feeling guilty if you didn't get around to it today. Start again tomorrow. I just ordered a book that you might find helpful called Classics to Read Aloud to Your Children. This book includes stories to share with your kids, rated by level and offers a time estimate for how long it will take to read that story. ( For instance, The Ugly Duckling is great for younger kids and will take 9 minutes to read. )

In our house, summer is the perfect time for reading. My kids are encouraged to read 30 minutes a day but most of the time, 30 minutes turns into far more. We will make trips to the library and make room in the day for relaxing and enjoying a book.

So, let's share some ideas! What books do your kids love? What has worked well for you? What advice can you share with others who wander into the blog today? What questions do you have about your kids and their approach to reading?

If we work together now to make a plan for raising readers this summer, what an amazing season it can be in your home! So take a second, leave a comment and let's get ready for what's yet to come!

Blessings on your day!

Mommas and Summer: Telling the Truth

2010-05-13T10:53:00.007-05:00

I want to love it. I want to jump into it with two feet and soak up every stinking second of the three magnificent months I get to spend with my sweet children. I want to be eager, be driven, be patient, be good. I want to plan and play and persist.

But, the truth is I am tired already.

Summer is coming and here is what I know. For the first time in 13 years, I have had a bit of time to myself. For the first time since I laid my eyes on Noah's beautiful face, I have gone to the bathroom alone, enjoyed moments of quiet and had time to do so many things that just plain needed to be done. I cooked better meals and shopped in smaller quantities and yes, I missed my children. Terribly. But, after I adjusted to their conspicuous absence, I enjoyed some time to myself. It was strange... but it is true.

I am one of those mommas who really loves to be with her kids. I am one of those mommas who likes to make a plan, teach them something, sit with them and read a book. I am that woman. And yet... there is a hesitancy here and I hope I am not alone. (How silly I would look, if I were.) Because as much as I am eager to have them here, waking up late and sporting bed-heads all day long, running through sprinklers and shooting hoops, digging in the garden and biting into beans and tomatoes fresh off the vine... there is a part of me that worries about it, too.

Can we be honest here? Can we own this little, guilty worry so that we can make a plan to face it head on? Summer is long and sometimes living days and days with no time away makes me less than I wish I was. As amazing as the view of sunny, clear days might be from this cloudy place, the reality is that it rains and kids fight and I get crabby and the house gets messed up and planning feels overwhelming and it gets to be, every now and then, just a little bit much. Do you ever feel that way at all?

So, I need to make a plan. My hope is that if I can find a way to buy time... if I can create a little space to regroup... maybe the ugly under-belly of unlimited time off might keep itself hidden and allow me to focus on the view I want to see. Me. My children. And a time of rejuvenation together.

As I tried to figure out what might help, I realized that there were two things that I have really valued this year. Two things I need to find place for this summer.

1. Most mornings, after I take my children to school, I go to the gym and work out. Now, I wish I had more to show for that but I do know for sure that I feel better now than before I did all this. I think so much of that has to do with being active and moving more. How do I work that in with four kids and a busy schedule and no time away?

2. Having quiet time to myself goes a long way in saving my sanity. For the past 9 months, I have had that 5 days a week. How can I find that in a home teeming with children? How can I live peacefully without it?

As I think this through, I have a couple of ideas that might help to make a difference. I am not sure I would call this a plan, just yet. But, I do think it's a start.

1. Two to three mornings a week, I am going to ask my hubby to wake me up in the morning so I can go for a walk before the kids wake up. On the days when I did not walk in the morning, I will try to go to the health club after Mark comes home from work. Normally, this is a challenge for me since I feel badly missing out on family time. But, since it is the summer and I will be ROLLING in family time, I am going to try to make it work for me. Getting exercise helps me to feel better, gives me more energy and will offer me a bit of the life I live while my kids are in school.

2. After lunch each day, I am going to have my kids spend 45 minutes quietly reading or drawing or resting after lunch. It will take some planning, and likely many trips to the library, but I think knowing that we have a little snippet of time in the midst of a loud, full day will go a long way in helping me to maintain some balance. In that time, I can read or sit or rest or regroup for the rest of the day.

These two adjustments might make a difference for me... though the most important adjustment I need to make is internal. I need to remember that some days are hard. Some days are frustrating. Some days are full to the brim with the kind of chaos that pushes me over the edge. And then the day ends. And the sun sets. And in the morning, it rises again bringing new hope, new chances, new perspectives. This, I need to remember.

The bottom line is, I want to love it. I want to look forward to the fullness of summer and embrace it every day. But some days, I won't. Some days will be hard. When I am tired and stressed, those hard days get harder. Now is the time to plan. Now is the time to see it all, good and bad, and be honest about what it will take to make this summer as amazing as I want it to be. For them. And for me.

Blessings on your day.

Time to Talk About Summer! (Part One)

2010-05-12T10:12:00.004-05:00

It seems like I have been planning this topic for weeks... just never getting around to sharing it with you. So today, the time has come! Time to talk about summer. And I am excited!

I know full well that all of us here today have lives that are similar and different from one another. This topic applies to all of us. If you have a family, it is a worthwhile thing to think about the upcoming 3+ months and what it can mean to your children. No kids? No problem. What can it mean to you?

When I was a teacher, I spent months each school year helping students to reconnect to things I knew they had learned the year before. And, imagine my discouragement when my first graders turned second graders spent months doing the same thing with their new teachers? I felt, even then, that it was a huge waste of time in the school year to have to reteach information that had already been taught and learned by these sweet students.

When I became a parent, I wanted to raise curious children. I wanted them to live in a home that fostered a love of education that was not so tightly tied to school as to their natural drive to discover. Sometimes, we do a pretty good job of that and sometimes not... but it is a goal for us. So, when I see months and months of free time coming, I want to have a plan. I know that school is ending and their time of formal education is transitioning... and now, (now!) I will have all the time in the world to continue to help them grow and develop as curious, little beings who see the world as a place of wonder and discovery.

So, what do we do? What am I planning? Well, there are many topics there on which to blog but let's just start with some goals I have for my children this summer.

1. I want them to relish listening to a story and am seeking read-alouds that I can share with them... a little at a time... over the months ahead.

2. I love how the Bible talks about God's words and His law being sweet... sweeter than honey! I am toying with ways to tie this to a time of Bible study in a very concrete way... possibly involving Jolly Ranchers!

3. I am always looking for ways to connect my children to each other... I am working on what this can look like this summer but am not fully decided on a direction.

4. I would love for my children to work on writing skills this summer. I am wondering if this might develop into something bloggy. Hmmm....

5. I have this big picture dream about how my children might come to understand the full scope of history. I am toying with ideas about what this might look like for us this summer and am really excited about starting this out.

6. I want my kids to help one another eat in a healthy way. Sometimes, we do a great job of this... sometimes we don't. I am hatching some ideas about what it might look like if I partner with a child to help meet this goal. As always, we will grow a huge garden... all doing our part to keep it growing well. I know this will help us in our effort to eat healthy.

7. Nature exploration is a big deal for my kids. I continue to harbor a dream of getting my kids off to see nature in new and amazing ways. This would likely include some travel for us... and will certainly involve a lot of camping which is high on my list of "to do" this summer.

8. DOWNTIME is so needed... so needed. I can feel how frustrated and tired I am with the craziness of May. I know it is harder on my kids. I am envisioning LOTS of time to play, hang-out with friends, jump through a sprinkler, stare at the sky.

9. Academic growth is easy to continue in small ways throughout the summer. This, we will do for sure. I have looked into some new ways to manage this since we have done workbooks for so long! Elizabeth is just starting to read and I want to encourage that with her and help her learn to just love the act of reading and see it all as fun!

10. I am looking for time WITH my children. I want to be with them and watch them and laugh with them and enjoy them every day. Sometimes, I get overwhelmed with the length of summer and I want to find a way to keep that at bay. Hold it off. I want to remind myself, every day, that Noah is 13 and I only have 5 summers with him left. It goes too fast. And it is so easy to wish it away.

So, there are some goals we are working on for the summer. This list is not complete but it is a pretty good start. For me, knowing there are goals helps me to craft a picture that is working toward something that will be meaningful for my children. What about you? What do you hope for your children this summer? What do you think is important for them to experience during these many months off? I would love to hear some of your ideas so feel free to leave a comment. I love comments more than you might guess! : )

Tomorrow, I will talk about some about ways I hope to maintain my sanity during those summer months. Little changes go a long way for me. I have never really worried about this aspect before but after a year of being home alone, it feels different to me this year. So, I want to be proactive. I want to guess a bit at what I will need and make a plan now while I have some time to think.

I have more ideas to share about summer so if you are working on making your plan, be sure to keep checking back. The goals above will be connected to actual activities that we will add to our summer months. I will let you know what those are and am eager to read your thoughts, too. Together, we can create a wonderful span of time that helps our children to stay connected to what they have already learned and to continue to seek growth in a whole new way.

Blessings on your day!

Simple Woman's Daybook--May 11, 2010

2010-05-11T11:14:00.003-05:00

If you blog, you can do this, too. C'mon, you can do it! Join in the fun!

Outside my window... It is cloudy and rainy and dark. Makes me want to snuggle in bed with a good book. If only the house was clean... No time for reading... too much to do.

I am thinking... about our busy night. Noah has a project due for school and we really need to be home to get it done. Sometimes, especially in May, it seems there are just never enough hours in the day.

I am thankful for... Supper Swap. Having fully prepared, frozen meals at my fingertips is a life-saver in the midst of a week like this. I am putting a roast into the crock pot as soon as this blog is posted.

From the kitchen... Savory Pot Roast, boiled red potatoes and cheesy bread for dinner. Also baking zucchini bread and carrot zucchini bread (and muffins) this afternoon.

I am wearing... a gray t-shirt and black yoga pants.

I am creating... Lots of snacks this week.... and lots of dreams about the summer months and what I want my kids to learn and experience during their time off. I will be blogging about all of this soon... just waiting for the pieces to land in place in my head! : )

I am dreaming... about summer... about a lighter schedule... about downtime with my kids... about warmer days and time to play. : )

I am going... to Noah's track meet in a couple hours... I am actually hoping and praying that it gets rained out! : ) We need a break and my house is a mess!

I am reading... a variety of kids books to prepare for the summer. I have to know what I want my kids to read! There used to be a series of early readers that included flash cards in the middle of the book. The flash cards were key words from the story. I used these when the older boys were little.... now I need them again for the little ones. Any ideas?

I am hoping... the rain continues and lots of evening activities get canceled so we can relax at home, help Noah with his project and enjoy a warm meal together.

I am hearing... rain outside... the weather reporter on TV... the fan on my laptop.

Around the house... Oh the mess. Why is it always a mess? Just being near it zaps my energy... I really, really, really dislike a messy house.

One of my favorite things... Naps. I would like one. You know, right now. :)

A few plans for the rest of the week... baseball, soccer, track, play rehearsal and practices... meal preparation and cleaning... Also, I am booking a couple of speaking engagements into next year and need to get the details down pat. I am planning a mailing to advertise speaking stuff and have to take care of that, too. Do you know someone who needs a speaker? Send them my way! (Check out my website: www.NadiaSwearingen-Friesen.com. )

What's new with you? :)

Blessings on your day!

Looking for more like this? http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Monday, Monday

2010-05-10T11:12:00.004-05:00

Happy Mother's Day, friends. I hope you had a day of pampering and thoughtfulness yesterday. :)

The craziness of May continues and I am up and at 'em this morning. I got the kids off to school, after much scurrying. Josiah has a year-end field trip and Elizabeth is undergoing standardized testing. Mondays are our busiest days and tonight will be full of baseball, track, gymnastics and homework.

In addition to our family schedule, my heart and mind are with the Trinity Christian College students who are beginning their finals today. What a stressful time for all of them! Since we still have connections to the college, I am bringing some snacks to a floor of resident students this morning. My Kitchen-Aide mixer has had a work out already today! As I baked and mixed for this floor of women, I also made extra for us. I would like to share some recipes with you that your family might enjoy, as well!

Last fall, our garden was bursting with zucchini! At the end of the season, I pulled in whatever was left and shredded it. I packed this shredded zuke in the deep freezer in 4 cup increments to be used in recipes throughout the year. This was very handy to me today! In addition to this, we froze bags and bags of freshly picked blueberries last August. All of this got pulled out of my deep freeze this morning. I made 7 loaves of zucchini bread and 7 loaves of blueberry zucchini bread. I also mixed a double batch of Puppy Chow that will be a welcome snack to the students and a tasty treat for our family, too.

Below you will find all these recipes and I hope you enjoy them today. I am off now to deliver these homemade spoils and then pick up meds for the puppy and drop off stuff for school... and then... Even after a day "off", a momma's work is never done!

Blessings on your day!

My Favorite Zucchini Bread

Ingredients:

4 eggs
1 1/2 cups white sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup vegetable oil
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
3/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 (8 ounce) can crushed pineapple, drained
2 cups grated zucchini
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

Directions:

1.Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
2.In a large bowl, mix oil, eggs, vanilla, sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Blend in pineapple and zucchini. Stir flour mixture into zucchini mixture. Pour batter into two greased and floured 9 x 5 inch loaf pans.
3.Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 1 hour. Cool on wire racks.

Blueberry Zucchini Bread

Ingredients:

3 eggs, lightly beaten
1 cup vegetable oil
3 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 1/4 cups white sugar
2 cups shredded zucchini
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
1 pint fresh blueberries

Directions:

1.Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease 4 mini-loaf pans.
2.In a large bowl, beat together the eggs, oil, vanilla, and sugar. Fold in the zucchini. Beat in the flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, and cinnamon. Gently fold in the blueberries. Transfer to the prepared mini-loaf pans.
3.Bake 50 minutes in the preheated oven, or until a knife inserted in the center of a loaf comes out clean. Cool 20 minutes in pans, then turn out onto wire racks to cool completely.

Puppy Chow

Ingredients:

9 cups crispy rice cereal squares (We use Crispix.)
1/2 cup peanut butter
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar

Directions:

1.In a saucepan over low heat, melt the chocolate; add peanut butter and mix until smooth.
2.Remove from heat, add cereal and stir until coated.
3.Pour powdered sugar into large plastic bag, add coated cereal and shake until well coated. Store in airtight container.

A Letter to My Children-- To Save Their Sanity and Mine

2010-05-07T16:20:00.004-05:00

Today, I will take a brief break from blogging to write a helpful letter to my children. :)

Dear Children,

You know I love you all to pieces and think you are each as cute as a bug's ear. That said, I would like to send you a bit of information that might help our life together go a bit more smoothly than it did this morning. Ready? Here we go!

1. When we lovingly tuck you into your beds at night, it is helpful to go to sleep. When you do so, you would be amazed at how awake you feel in the morning. It will be so much easier to get up! You know, unlike today.

2. When a teacher gives you an assignment, months in advance, it is likely because the assignment will take a very, very long time to do. Starting the work is not the same as finishing it. Trying to finish it at 9:00PM will likely not work. Going to bed at 11:30PM with said assignment almost done will not lead to a spunky morning. Remember this morning?

3. When momma calmly wakes you up and tell you to take a quick 5 minute shower before school, please do not lock the door and hang out in there for 20 minutes. You will not be able to get to school on time. Your siblings will not be able to brush their teeth. Like, um... today.

4. When your sister is in your way and you are in a hurry, it is likely a better choice to use your words to get her to move, rather than using your hands. It makes her mad. Really mad. She doesn't think clearly when mad. Like this morning.

5. When your brother "gently" moves you out of the way, it is never a good idea to swing your coat around and whip him on the arm. This gets you in more trouble than it gets him in. If you don't do this, he will be in trouble for moving you. If you do decide to do this, you will be in trouble for bruising your brother. I believe we learned this lesson this morning. Right?

6. When your mother has made dinner for the family all week, baked a special meal for the all the teachers and cooked home-made chicken soup for an appreciation luncheon at school and then asks you what you did with the sandwich she made you for lunch, never, ever tell her you threw it out. This is upsetting to her. Maybe this was unclear... well, maybe it was til this morning.

7. When you momma tells you that the shirt you want to wear is too small. Don't take it from your little brother anyway. It fits him. It doesn't fit you. It will make your morning crazy because you will then have no shirt laid out to wear. You know, like this morning?

8. If school says to dress up like you are Australian, it does not mean that you really have Australian clothes. Because, we don't. No matter what you do, no matter what you wear, you will still likely look like a child from the suburbs... just one dressed in khaki shorts and a cowboy hat. The reason it doesn't look perfect is because, well... it isn't. That's okay. Don't then ask your mom for more safari clothes. I am not sure there really is a safari in Australia anyway. Just grab some binoculars and call it good. We should have gone over this all this morning.

9. When one child is crying because of bruised arm, one child is crying because of a time-out, one child is crying because his homework is undone and one child cannot figure out why everyone else is crying, it is not, under any circumstances, the right time to ask momma a question. She will not like it. She might raise her voice. She will use her angry eyes. Like this morning.

10. When the morning is crazy and everyone cries and some people get hurt and some work is still undone and the milk is left out and the eggs are not quite right and you throw out your sandwich and the house is loud and it all just feels bad, remember this: Momma loves you. I love you when you are good. I love you when you are confusing. I love you when you are naughty and frustrating and stubborn. I love you because you are mine. I love you because God gave you to me and He knows we need each other. I love you because you are you. Even this morning. Especially this morning. I love you.

Forever and Ever,

Your Momma.

Blessings on your day!

Dorm Life and Dinner: Chicken Tarragon Casserole

2010-05-06T09:51:00.004-05:00

It was a decision that made all the sense in the world. As residence directors at a small, Christian college, Mark and I chose to open our home to our staff for dinner every Thursday night. College students value a home-cooked meal more than you might guess.

The first year, I did the cooking and Mark did the cleaning and the students just showed up to eat. One Thursday night, they were kind of testy with each other during the meal and I realized they needed to accomplish a task together.

"Tonight, we'd like you all to do the dishes." we announced.

Our well-loved students grumbled and groaned and then headed to the kitchen to clean. Within a few short minutes, laughter echoed, bubbles flew and our staff felt strangely united.

From that night on, for six amazing years, I cooked dinner every Thursday night and our residence assistants cleaned the mess. They each took turns and while they worked, Mark and I sat in the nearby living room listening to the fun they were having. It was a great time for us... two small children at our feet and 200+ freshman and sophomore students living all around. The RAs I cooked for every week came to feel like family and we loved, truly-deeply-loved, the time we spent with them.

I learned a lot as we listened in... and those lessons have impacted my parenting over the years. Watching the wonder that washes forth from a task that is happily shared taught me that there is value in having my children not only do chores, but share them. When Mark and I listen to others working together, the voices we hear now are those of our children at home. They are learning and we are remembering and all of it is good.

I have thought about this a lot this week. When I used to cook for college students, one of their favorite meals was Chicken Tarragon Casserole. This week, I have made 5 of these casseroles and given 4 away to my kid's teachers to help celebrate Teacher Appreciation Week at school. As I stood in the kitchen and made these meals, I was lost in thought and memory. As the casseroles baked and the aroma arose, I was brought back to those days at Trinity when our family was small and our community was huge. This dish was a favorite to us, as well... economical and filling, it was perfect for a crowd!

I would like to share the recipe with you... and encourage you all to hand the dishes job off to somebody else! Listen a while and let the soap fly and store up the memories for another day. Today might be kind of busy... but someday, the voices you store up now will really make you smile.

Blessings on your day!

Chicken Tarragon Casserole

Ingredients

2 cans (10-3/4 ounces each) condensed cream of chicken soup, undiluted
2 cups half-and-half cream
4 teaspoons dried tarragon
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 package (16 ounces) linguine or spaghetti, cooked and drained
6 cups cubed cooked chicken
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
Paprika, optional

Directions

In a large bowl, combine soup, cream, tarragon and pepper. Stir in the linguine and chicken.

Transfer to an ungreased 4-qt. baking dish. Sprinkle with the Parmesan cheese and paprika if desired. The cheese will create a crusty topping that is an amazing addition to this dish.

Bake, uncovered, at 350° for 30 minutes or until heated through.

(We sometimes add frozen chopped spinach to this dish and/or mozzarella cheese.)